3 Greatest Loves                                Recently I learned that we only experience 3 great loves of our lives. I had no idea because I’ve only experienced the first of those 2 loves and I hope before I die, I get to experience the 3 rd . What are the 3 greatest loves that we will experience? Young Love/First Love Our first of the three is that of young love or our first love. It is new and fresh and has our emotions all over the place. We are told that this type of love doesn’t last, but we all know high school sweethearts who have been together since high school or in some cases middle school. I had this experience with my high school sweetheart; it lasted 15yrs...until it didn't. . Toxic Love Our second love is that Toxic Love. It’s that love where there is always some sort of drama or contention and for whate...

I don't know where to begin with this...but I guess I will start at the beginning! I know women all over are going to be very upset with me when I say this...BUT I don't believe women when they say they were hit on or talked to in an inappropriate way. Allegations of Sexual Harassment is so broad and vague, especially in the workplace that an off colored joked OVERHEARD by a woman, a touch to another woman's shoulder are all under the workplace definition of sexual harassment. That's right what happened or what was said to you, can be deemed sexual harassment to another. Crazy right?!!?! Which is why, this whole Herman Cain 'scandal' has me yawning. These women, supposedly there are 4 now, who signed agreements back in the day to not speak of this, wait until now, when he is running for President to come out and talk about it.? Now they have diarrhea of the mouth---get out of here with that BS.  I think what really bothers me the most is that they waited, ...

   Sometimes you just want to say Eff it, when it comes to Valentine's Day    Oh no! That dreaded day is just about 3 weeks away, and all of the single people, women mostly are trying to psych themselves out, by saying "its just another day". Which is true. Valentine's Day is just another day, but as a single person, it just makes your singleness that much more acute. You tend to feel your singleness the most during Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, Valentine's Day and your birthday. How many times have you gotten tired of the squeals and yelps of delight as co-worker, after co-worker, friend, after friend, received a delivery of beautiful long-stemmed red roses, the large heart-shaped balloon or oversized Teddy Bear emblazoned with "I LOVE U" OR "BE MINE"? Do you swear silently to yourself as you plaster a fake smile on your face as you comment happily about their good fortune? Yes, I know, too many times to count. It's ...

Summertime is over and Sassy & Dlyte are back for more love and sexuality talk on WSER Sassy Entertainment Radio™!!! September 2nd Sassy and Dlyte dishes the 411 on their favorite and the sexiest most musicological artist of all time PRINCE ROGERS NELSON with Barbara Rogers Rashid founder of the FloridaNPG Fan club as she shares her recent visit with the Purple One at Paisley Park Studios. September 9th - Tim Alexander Castles Studios Filmaker and director of DIARY OF A TIRED BLACK MAN joins in the discussion on the state of black men and women and relationships. September 16th - When To Give Into Intimacy is it the 3rd date, 3 months, or 6 months...??? Sassy & Dlyte will discuss if and/or when is there a right time to move forward with an intimate relationship. September 23rd - Filmmaker & Director Dennis Dortch visits WSER to discuss his latest movie GOOD DAY TO BE BLACK & SEXY a movie about Black love and sexuality as well as the current state of black relationship...

Virtual Dating or VD is a term adopted by myself and the women in my circle when it comes to dating. Virtual Dating is the process of dating via email, instant message, and texting- only. It's the lazy man's way of attempting to procure a relationship with a woman, through various portal's of media, that are increasingly less personal. There is nothing less personal than a text message, an email, or even an instant message--after you have gone through the initial process of the "getting to know you phase". Yes, these avenues are used when initially dealing with a person, as a getting to know you process. Some have used it for other nefarious reasons of sending photo's of there genitalia to prospective suitors. However, in the beginning, at times it is easier to say what you will via a less personal method, as it allows one to "take in" so to speak what you said. It is less invasive, because you do not see the reaction to someone saying "I have ...

Who knew that the dating game would change so drastically over the last twenty years? So many factors play into what changed the game and I feel that the number factor was the internet? The internet made it easier for shy, introverted, sometimes unattractive, uninspiring, lazy, physically disabled and in some instances obese individuals the opportunity to meet a potential love match online. I know what I said is not politically correct, but it’s the ugly truth. On the other hand, it also made it easier for that busy executive and/or a workaholic, single parents, and newly single individuals to find a love match as well. Let’s face facts it’s a helluva lot easier to point, click, accept or reject via the anonymity of the internet as opposed to attending a singles event such as speed dating or a singles meet and greet. Sidebar: 35,000 people meet and marry online every year…which I am sure will give some folks hope. Ideally no one thought and/or believed they would be single again and/o...

I’ve been told by some men that I have met that I “think like a dude”, and that statement made me laugh, because I do have a “dudetality”. I am surrounded by women that have a “dudetality” and that’s alright! For those that don’t know me, I am outspoken and opinionated. I am very direct and at times I don’t have a filter between my brain and my tongue. I understand that it’s not what I say, but how I say it, however, I feel like people are coddled too damn much at times and they need to hear it straight with no chaser. Why pretty the words up or delay the blow? Some people try to play dumb and act like they don’t know and/or understand the words that are coming out of your mouth, especially if you’re being “nice” about it. Some people need to hear it in a rough manner in order for them to see the stupidity of their ways. For example…a few years ago I remember coming home and one of my sister’s girlfriends had stopped past for a visit. I did not care for this girl, so when I came in, I ...

In light of the recent events between Rihanna and Chris Brown, I felt this needs to be discussed. Allegedly Chris contracted herpes from Rihanna and this is the reason his camp gave for his physical abuse towards her... I am not saying that what he did was right, because I do not advocate a man hitting a woman, however, if I were in his shoes, I would be upset as well, and most likely physically violent..afterall, herpes is something you live with forever. Maybe she is the only woman he has been with, who knows, or maybe one of his groupies gave it to him...not sure, but because of this and the fact that OUR community has the highest rates of STD's and HIV/AIDS cases... There are still supposedly grown men and women who are still in this "he/she looks clean" type of thing, as if their eyes can scan their bodies like Superman with the infared powers and see diseased cells within a person's body...NOT! So does the condom come off after 3 months, 6 months, a year...after...

I am a huge fan of Steve Harvey! I love his morning show and I thoroughly enjoy his Strawberry Letter segment, but everyday, it’s a different woman allowing a man to keep his foot on her neck. I constantly find myself laughing and shaking my head, because I find it funny? Is it really that important to be in a relationship? I know that no one wishes to or wants to grow old alone, but damn, what happened to have self respect? Over the weekend, the girls and I went out for a drink and we were talking about how long it takes women to “figure” it out. Why is it that some women have yet to understand themselves and/or know their own power? I told them that a friend asked me why women gave each other bad advice all the time…honestly, we didn’t know, because our sect is very outspoken and at times “inyourface” with our opinions. Added to that he asked why do women hate on each other? It’s as if the minute a woman thinks that there is a possible chance of “hooking up” or getting themselves...

A while back I posted a blog entited "ARE WOMEN WHORES FOR MONEY"{ http://situationswithssassy.blogspot.com/2007/06/are-women-whores-for-money.html } ...I have to ask this question and just put it out there...is it okay for women to marry for money? I look at the BravoTV series of the Real Housewives of OC, NYC, and most recently ATL and I listen to this young 25yo woman say "at first when I met my husband I was not physically attracted to him, but then I realized he was sweet and very successful..." and I am sitting at home going WTF...I mean for real...don't tell me you didn't find his money attractive first then you began to actually like him...come on...then to have one of the other OC housewives state "I can see what she see's in him, he is a very successful and confident man..." man puhleaze...why won't the women just say it...its fun and good and easy to marry to for money...I won't castigate for saying that...because you are b...

This posting stemmed from a discussion about a man who spent a beautiful weekend with his wife and just the way in which he described the weekend prompted the women on the board to state how lucky his wife is to have a loving, caring, and attentive brother such as GRUMPY...it was so on point, that I asked him if I could post it on my blogs...and his response was "if it helps one woman to make the right decision, then hell yeah, post on!" Here is his response for women...please take heed... ___________________________________________ I would say to the women who claim they want that: WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ACHIEVE THAT? Meaning, what kind of man are you dealing with? Under what circumstances are you with him? If it's because he's all you think you can get or because he's the baby daddy or because he's brainwashed you into thinking that 'ain't nobody else gonna want you' or anything like that, then you won't get that. Women are like a dealer in a ...

Baltimore is rich with culture and the discovery of new and exciting places is always fun! I had the pleasure of enjoying one such spot recently and although a little pricey for food and drinks it is the atmosphere that I go for...atmosphere is that which I seek, especially when I am on a people watching jaunt. This particular night was no different when it came to sitting back, sipping on my Tuaca (glass chilled w/lemon and lime) as I perused the mixed crowd of thirty and forty something's eagerly trying to catch the eye for "the one". What I noticed most especially is the way in which some of the women were dressed and yet I watched how disturbed they became because their dress garnered the wrong attention from men. One young lady in particular who I have to admit was ROCKING her outfit, at first walked in with much confidence and as the eyes of the men caressed her body in albiet open admiration, I witnessed through the night that she was not feeling the attention. Let...

What causes individuals to explore celibacy? Is it something that only women will do, or are more men also practicing this as well? Why the word celibacy is looked upon as THE C and for some is being likened to cancer? Is there something wrong with a person that foregoes something as fun, exciting, and enjoyable as sex? I used to think so, until I decided to shut the shop down. I practiced celibacy from 2005 to 2007 and it was due in large part to being tired of the game. Trust me when I say that for the first 30 days, I was one irate individual and had to recognize how sex had become an integral aspect of my life…straight meaningless sex. Once I surpassed the 30-day mark, it became easy. It wasn’t done out of trickery and/or to play mind games, it was all about ME. It was becoming more in touch with myself and how intimacy played a part in my life. Although I continued to date, I vowed to always be honest about my current status sexually…to be honest the first conversation was the har...

How much of your sexual history should you disclose to a mate? For some women this question remains a constant conflict because how much of the reveal is too much? I advocate truth telling, although we all know that there are some that live in their convoluted and distorted truth. But, in this day and time, it is vitally imperative to your health and welfare to always state the truth. As adults we understand that you may not want to reveal all...that at one point in our lives we may have done something that was a little wild and/or off the hook and some things you just may decide to take to the grave. But years ago, you know back in the day when dating was easier and fun, you didn't have the issues that you have today. The questions that individuals must ask today are not questions that you had to ask twenty years ago. Today we have to ask questions like: Are you currently sexually active? If so, how many partners are you intimate with? Have you ever have or currently have a sexual...

At one point in our lives, everyone has had their heartbroken and/or broken someone's heart. We have been in great relationships that for some reason didn't work and we have been in bad relationships that were destined to fail from the beginning, however, as much as folks say that they wish they had that special someone in their lives, what are they willing to do to get that person? Are they willing to be open and free letting folks in or are they holding off and holding back for fear of being hurt. Are we so desensitized now that folks are no longer saying that their hearts are being broken, rather than their feelings were bruised, because bruise is better than broken. That your heart is still somewhat intact althought it may have a slight crack, it can heal quicker... When listening to issues from women and some men, I have come to the conclusion that as much as men and women say they want that special someone in their life WE {women/men} don't seem willing to let our gu...

This popped up on a message board that I talk on...yet it is so very appropriate for my show topic tomorrow...its a letter a black man wrote about why he cheated on his wife... I found this interesting to say the least...he touched on some points that I have heard some men make, but does that excuse the behavior? What are your thoughts on this... ______________________________________________________________ *Why I Cheat on My Beautiful Black Wife I am a black man and a cheater. Not all the time, just every now and then. The itch comes to me, and no matter what my wife does, I still can't help but want another woman. At least for a night, or two, or three. I love my wife very much. No woman I've ever met or will meet will hold a more important place in my life. I also love my kids, our house, my job and the fish in my daughter's room. I love everything about my life at home, even though my relationship has become dull and rocky. But while I love having a strong black family...

With the onslaught of the perceived "man shortage" women are beginning to focus their attentions on men from their friends past. Meaning that they are revising their opinions of the once staunchly forbidden and "possibly" offensive rule of not dating your girlfriends exes/baby daddies/or jump-offs, maintenance men, or friends-with-benefits. In other words, if your girl had sexual relations/dealings of any kind, then he is unspokeningly off-limits to her posse/homegirls/sister gurls. Your homegirls/sistagirls especially know that he is now in an untouchable, a forever untouchable position, regardless of how sexy, or fine, or how much the two of you may have "vibed" with one another, he can't be touched. Yet as women are growing older and the pool for eligible men is supposedly shrinking, they are mulling over whether or not to date an old flame of their friends. Statistics show that African American women are the most uncoupled women on earth, to wit it...

Monday, March 3, 2008, I was a guest panelist along with Martina Evans, on THE FRONT PAGE, with host Craig Thompson, on WEAA 88.9 Morgan State Radio. The topic under discussion was dating and relationships...and I have to thank Martina Evans, the author of Worst First Dates and the Lessons Learned, for thinking of and inviting me to appear along with her. However, I have been thinking about what some of the callers...one them stated that she was 46yo and "that nowadays all a man wishes to do is take you back to his home and screw." We touched on this that night and unfortunately, we were unable to delve deeper into the topic. As I continue with research and viewing the breakdown in communication in the dating process I can see how she would get that mindset. It is my belief and opinion that some women are just making it too damn easy for some men. Don't get me wrong there are women that are more than willing to give it up the first time around, but for most men to automat...

It’s no secret that for the past six years my sister and my two cousins, and I throw a fabulously hot Valentine’s Day Party. Its live, off the hook, and interactive, with games, food, music, and prizes…there are sample drinks passed out each hour…a chocolate fountain with huge California vine ripened succulent strawberries…and a wide array of other desserts and delectable morsels. There is a good time had by all, young and the young at heart. We do discriminate with ticket sales because we only want the Grown & Sexy in attendance…the exception we make is for the parents and aunts and uncles…hell, they taught us how to throw a party…how to get different groups to mix and mingle and stop sitting around all bougie and shyt. But as I write this I am perplexed…Why is it that the word Valentine tends to scare and/or invoke a fear in people? Is it an admission or an acceptance of their own loneliness? I wonder? You know I’ve been throwing this party for six years with no date and when I h...

The infamous Grumpy, moderator extraodinaire of the FAF board, who is always thinking about educationing the ladies...ran across this site and relayed it to me...and now I am sharing it with you! I think this should be a part of a woman's daily regime...but that is JMO! _______________________________________________________ http://www.mypleasure.com/educati...gels_for_better_sexual_health.asp Kegels for Better Sexual Health Ladies, did you know you could perform an internal vaginal exercise that will strengthen the walls of your vagina, making childbirth easier, incontinence more unlikely and orgasms much stronger? If you've had a baby, your doctor probably told you all about these exercises, called Kegels. The rest of you, listen up. A Practical Application Developed in 1946 by Dr. Arnold Kegel (pronounced, "kay-gill"), a Los Angeles obstetrician and gynecologist, Kegels are the rhythmic clenching and unclenching of the pubococcygeal (PC) muscles. Also known as t...