3 Greatest Loves                                Recently I learned that we only experience 3 great loves of our lives. I had no idea because I’ve only experienced the first of those 2 loves and I hope before I die, I get to experience the 3 rd . What are the 3 greatest loves that we will experience? Young Love/First Love Our first of the three is that of young love or our first love. It is new and fresh and has our emotions all over the place. We are told that this type of love doesn’t last, but we all know high school sweethearts who have been together since high school or in some cases middle school. I had this experience with my high school sweetheart; it lasted 15yrs...until it didn't. . Toxic Love Our second love is that Toxic Love. It’s that love where there is always some sort of drama or contention and for whate...

Dear SassyScribe, I came across your blog and I wanted you to know that I love it. I have a problem and I want your help. I have learned that I do not trust men. Its like I am always waiting for the other shoe to drop in any situation. I don't care if I am meeting a man, I automatically expect him to not be entirely truthful. When I am in a full fleged relationship I think at some point he is lying to me. I read between the lines all the time even when there isn not need to. I don't want to be like this but I think I may have lost alot of men because of my distrust of men. Can you help me or point me in the right direction.  Trust is my issue Nashville, TN _________________________________ Dear Trust Is My Issue: First I want to thank you and I hope I can continue to keep you as a valued reader. Please share the blog with your friends. I have a confession as well. I too at one time had major trust issues with men because someone very close t...

The placement of the engagement ring has been a long held tradition of showing your status as no longer being available and it’s what some women secretly wish for when dating. However, there is a new trend.  The 2012 tend---the Man Engagement Ring or the MANGAGEMENT RING. Now some women feel that if he has to be managed, why would they want him? But, it’s not the fact that he is being managed, it is just showing that he is no longer on the market. That he is affianced. That he is betrothed. That he is taken! It’s a symbolic gesture like the diamond engagement ring for the women. It can be represented in a plain silver, titanium, or stainless steel band. Some women are even springing for Plain Platinum or gold, with an upgrade of adding diamonds for the ‘big day’. Yet when asked, more women had an issue with such a concept rather than men. Most men had no problem wearing a ‘management’ ring. They felt that it leveled the playing field somewhat. That if he ask...

While I was out searching for a job, I missed Tracy McMillan's recent Huffington Post article "Why You're Not Married"  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/tracy-mcmillan/why-youre-not-married_b_822088.html.   I know the article was written over a week ago now, but I still wanted to say a little something something...ya feel me. Saundra " SassyScribe" Harris - Author, Relationship Commentator, Internet Talk Show Host...oh, and Single! Because this is yet another lamentation on the woe's of single women...however, this time the writer is encompassing all women and not just Black Women as articles from various writers and bloggers in the past. Ms. McMillan is not the only person writing about this phenomenon, as there are countless books on this very subject for and by women of all races.  Ms. McMillan states in her article that women (using a largely painted brush) particularly single women, are shallow, angry, lying, selfish, sluts who are just not goo...

   Sometimes you just want to say Eff it, when it comes to Valentine's Day    Oh no! That dreaded day is just about 3 weeks away, and all of the single people, women mostly are trying to psych themselves out, by saying "its just another day". Which is true. Valentine's Day is just another day, but as a single person, it just makes your singleness that much more acute. You tend to feel your singleness the most during Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, Valentine's Day and your birthday. How many times have you gotten tired of the squeals and yelps of delight as co-worker, after co-worker, friend, after friend, received a delivery of beautiful long-stemmed red roses, the large heart-shaped balloon or oversized Teddy Bear emblazoned with "I LOVE U" OR "BE MINE"? Do you swear silently to yourself as you plaster a fake smile on your face as you comment happily about their good fortune? Yes, I know, too many times to count. It's ...

"Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do." Dr. Spock That is a quote that people should always remember when it comes to all of their relationships. The relationship with your siblings, spouse, parents, children, family, and friends. Those are the most important relationships that you have in your life. We cultivate them. We nuture them. We instill values, principles, and morals in them. It is a quote that even I struggle to remember, but I remember, because trust is an important and imperitive part of all of my relationships. According to Merriam-Webster trust is a: assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something b : one in which confidence is placed The internet craze has placed our society on information overload. Too many of us place a confidence in what it is we find on the internet. Especially when it comes to finding love online. The billion dollar business of online dating is growing expone...

Virtual Dating or VD is a term adopted by myself and the women in my circle when it comes to dating. Virtual Dating is the process of dating via email, instant message, and texting- only. It's the lazy man's way of attempting to procure a relationship with a woman, through various portal's of media, that are increasingly less personal. There is nothing less personal than a text message, an email, or even an instant message--after you have gone through the initial process of the "getting to know you phase". Yes, these avenues are used when initially dealing with a person, as a getting to know you process. Some have used it for other nefarious reasons of sending photo's of there genitalia to prospective suitors. However, in the beginning, at times it is easier to say what you will via a less personal method, as it allows one to "take in" so to speak what you said. It is less invasive, because you do not see the reaction to someone saying "I have ...

Who knew that the dating game would change so drastically over the last twenty years? So many factors play into what changed the game and I feel that the number factor was the internet? The internet made it easier for shy, introverted, sometimes unattractive, uninspiring, lazy, physically disabled and in some instances obese individuals the opportunity to meet a potential love match online. I know what I said is not politically correct, but it’s the ugly truth. On the other hand, it also made it easier for that busy executive and/or a workaholic, single parents, and newly single individuals to find a love match as well. Let’s face facts it’s a helluva lot easier to point, click, accept or reject via the anonymity of the internet as opposed to attending a singles event such as speed dating or a singles meet and greet. Sidebar: 35,000 people meet and marry online every year…which I am sure will give some folks hope. Ideally no one thought and/or believed they would be single again and/o...

God blessed I love FB and all other social networking sites, because it allows me to be Sassy and speak my mind on topics I love... but most importantly it is a vessel that is allowing me to speak to women about their hangups and stupidty when it comes to men, dating, sex, and relationships. Yes, I said stupidity...it looks as if some of them are getting dumber and more desparate as they get older. You know when I hear them saying the same things over and over adnauseum it makes my teeth itch. Why? Why is it that women have not learned from their mistakes? Why are they still asking the same damn questions over and over...how do I know if he likes me, is he only after sex...why is he lying to me, why does't he want to spend time with me...WTF I can't take it anymore...Ladies, dating is so very easy...we have been blessed with a third eye and an uncanny intuition that talks to us everyday. Not just on matters of the heart but on all matters that involve, money, our children, our ...

In light of the recent events between Rihanna and Chris Brown, I felt this needs to be discussed. Allegedly Chris contracted herpes from Rihanna and this is the reason his camp gave for his physical abuse towards her... I am not saying that what he did was right, because I do not advocate a man hitting a woman, however, if I were in his shoes, I would be upset as well, and most likely physically violent..afterall, herpes is something you live with forever. Maybe she is the only woman he has been with, who knows, or maybe one of his groupies gave it to him...not sure, but because of this and the fact that OUR community has the highest rates of STD's and HIV/AIDS cases... There are still supposedly grown men and women who are still in this "he/she looks clean" type of thing, as if their eyes can scan their bodies like Superman with the infared powers and see diseased cells within a person's body...NOT! So does the condom come off after 3 months, 6 months, a year...after...

Happy New Year…!!!! Amazing how long its been since I have blogged. I have really and truly been enjoying myself and taking time out for new friends and family members. The holiday season is my favorite time of year because everyone, despite the rough economic climate, was still filled with such joy! And that is what I truly truly love about this season. Although this is a new year, I still see and I am reading that people are still now willing and/or are unable to change. Why is it as this year moves into 2009 and we have a fabulous new President…our first African American President that woman are still relegating themselves as second best when it comes to men??!?!?! I cannot begin to tell you how sad it makes me…now I know the statistics that are out there: 44% will never marry Black women most uncoupled women on earth The older a woman gets the more likely she is to date/become involved with a married man Older women are more desperate There are not enough good men around To that I ...