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Showing posts from December, 2006

The Marriage Contract

I am single, and I think that having companionship, love, and intimacy are one of the strong points of being married. Here I am spending another holiday alone, as I watch with envious eyes as my married friends celebrate as a unit. When I tell them that I value what it is they have and would like to have that myself one day, I get these strange looks like "please, its not all that". I'm told that folks would give their eye teeth to be like me for one day. Single and Free...I say go for it...see how much fun it is not to have a confidant to take you through the good and bad times...see how much fun it is to always know that each memorable moment in your life, your birthday, holidays, and other family/friend gatherings that you may go to- you will always go alone. So in a conversation I told them jokingly, that if the marriage had been a true contract of stipulations say marriages must last a minimum of ten years prior to renewing your contract. That each renewal year had …

Oral Sex - Is It Sex?

I have been sitting here, thinking about sex as I do most days, and this thought popped into my head...

Is Oral Sex - Sex? If there is no penetration of the vaginal cavity and all you do or have done is oral it sex? It makes me think of former President Clinton when he said "I did not have sexual relations with that woman" well in a sense, isn't he right...she performed oral sex on him...he did not penetrate her at all. So did they have sex or were they just fooling around?

I'm just asking because a friend said if he isn't in a womans "hot box" then he didn't have sex...another friend said "eatin' ain't cheatin" makes me go hmmmm so please...leave your comment's and thoughts...


Are U Serious?

As a woman, I have to say I know that am serious about a man, when I start cooking for him and wanting to ensure his daily happiness. I know some women think/feel if they sleep with a man, then they are serious...for others it is calling you and talking to you everyday, the anticipation of hearing your voice is climatic. We all have our own ideals as to what makes up want to get serious with him/her, and as a woman I can see the signs in other women, but not quite as adept at seeing it in men. I don't each his own, but when I asked a fellow male friend of mine how can a woman tell if a man is getting serious about her, he stated:

"When he starts thinking (and saying) that the male friends that you had before you met him, are now trying to hit it. Or when he needs to know your every move, where you're going and whom you're with?" I thought that was funny, because to me that isn't serious, its paranoia! Again its all about preference... However, serio…

Oral Sex Nazi's

I know this may be repetitive, but it bares repeating...
For me there is nothing more satisfying nor more gratifying than orally pleasuring my man! I just don't understand how a sista could not willing fall to her knees before and submit to him everyday! Ladies...imagine going home, preparing yourself and as soon as he walks in the door, you surprise him. Hell, treat his azz like the GodFather, and do him a favor...everyday you do a favor for him and he will appreciate it...Some men deserve it for being the good men that they are... But know this gentlemen, just because this blog focuses on the men, doesn't mean that WE (women) should be neglected by you in this area....every woman deserves it as well.
But I write this not for my love of oral pleasure, but because of the oral nazi's I hear about. How in the hell can you not make love to your S.O. in this way? Trust me, I ain't lying beside a man that won't do least I won't lay beside him for long...because…

Women & Men ---So Strange

I have been sitting back and reviewing some of my topics and I am cracking the hell up. Women and Men are so very strange! Its almost similar to what they teach you in diversity classes, that underneath the outside differences, on the inside we all want the same things...but that may work for the races, but does it work for men and women?

I see women trying to hold on to men for dear life. In my humble opinion, they meet men, and lets be honest women in the late 30's and above are not looking for too many men friends. I mean, when a woman initially meets a man, she begins to"size" him up as a potential, then once they have conversation, she will either move on, or she will stick around because of the potential that she sees. Now on the other hand, this man just met a woman and he might be lucky enough to have sex with her...that is as far as he has thought. He ain't worried about later on the next day or next week with her...he is in the moment. The here and now! Whil…

Caring For An Adulterer

I was sitting here thinking about some of the trifling men folk in my family and it got me to thinking...would I have enough love and compassion in my heart to care for an ex or a philandering spouse/S.O. that required constant medical attention.

I have a couple of cousins that have done alot of dirt that I have seen/heard to the women in their lives. One in particular had a habit of leaving his woman not for a quick stick-n-move type of affair, naw his azz had to linger with his side pieces for years at a clip. Now lets fast forward, this woman has continued to remain married to him, never straying, always attending family events and being "the good little wife"...and what got me was after all of these years, his azz got sick, his "woman" kicked him to the curb, and his wife is now caring for him.

That type of love and committment to me is the sign of a good woman or is she completely stupid! There is no way in hell, that I would take care of your ailing azz after y…

African Americans and Marriage

I ran across this article and its food for on, and tell me what you think.
Can Marriage Stem African American Poverty?Study: Marriage benefits blacks economicallyBy Tamara E. Holmes

December 4, 2006 -- Marriage appears to contribute greatly to the economic status of African American families, according to a new study, The Consequences of Marriage for African Americans, but some black advocates disagree on whether marriage programs are effective methods of curbing poverty.

The study, commissioned by the Institute for American Values, a private nonprofit think tank that studies families, examines the consequences of marriage among African Americans in the last few decades. A recent panel discussion titled, "Marriage and the African-American Community" at the Brookings Institute in Washington, D.C., reviewed the study's findings.

"On virtually every indicator of economic well-being, married African Americans…

Growth is Good...?

Do you talk to yourself? Am I the only one that has regular conversations with myself on what/how I can improve myself? I don't know if many folks will admit to it, but I think this is a natural part of maturation...

As I grow older, and obtain a little more wisdom and outlook on the grand scheme of life, I notice that I am not the same woman that I was last year, or even yesterday. Everyday I find out something new, exciting, and different about ME!!

Not only do I learn more about myself, I also see the growth of some of the individuals that are in my core group of friends. Sadly, some of us will never grow up and out of old habits, but the majority of us seem to balance L I F E and all that it entails...

I think growth is you?


World AIDS Day

I was having a conversation with one of my nephews babies momma and I found out that she recently miscarried. This is very upsetting altogether at the loss of life. I expressed my condolences, and personally I feel its for the best, because she can barely take care of the one she has, let alone bring another life into the struggle.

Now as sad as that is, it made me think...hmmm this chick is still having unprotected and unsafe sex. Condoms cost about $10.00, a baby, over $100k in a lifetime, if not more, and the cocktails for HIV/AIDS are atronomical...WTF is she thinking? She barely knows the dude and in less than six months she trusts him enough to have him not wear a condom. When I asked her, she said "he told me he wasn't sleeping with anyone else" now be that as it may, because it may be true, why, why, why, did she think that him telling her so made him CLEAN! What about all of the other women he slept with prior to you, for that matter what about the men you've…