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Caring For An Adulterer

I was sitting here thinking about some of the trifling men folk in my family and it got me to thinking...would I have enough love and compassion in my heart to care for an ex or a philandering spouse/S.O. that required constant medical attention.

I have a couple of cousins that have done alot of dirt that I have seen/heard to the women in their lives. One in particular had a habit of leaving his woman not for a quick stick-n-move type of affair, naw his azz had to linger with his side pieces for years at a clip. Now lets fast forward, this woman has continued to remain married to him, never straying, always attending family events and being "the good little wife"...and what got me was after all of these years, his azz got sick, his "woman" kicked him to the curb, and his wife is now caring for him.

That type of love and committment to me is the sign of a good woman or is she completely stupid! There is no way in hell, that I would take care of your ailing azz after you have left me for someone else. To put the icing on top of this sick cake, the other woman dropped him off at the hospital, called the wife, told her that she could come and get him now...and the wife was out the house and at his side quick fast and in a hurry! When I heard the story, I immediately said "she is a better woman than I" and when I saw her for the first time after that, boy, she was happier than a f****t w/a bag o'dicks...

I know it sounds cruel, and we are all expected to forgive and forget, but it just doesn't happen that way. I can remember the scene in Diary of A Mad Black Woman, when the husband got sick, and the new girl wanted to pull the plug and the wife said no...there was an audible gasp in the theater where the women were like "WTF...let her pull the plug"...yeah, yeah, yeah, yall are saying that his death would've been on her conscience- that we don't want...but I'd be damned, if I'd have been there to care for and worry about him. That woman was too much of a christian in my eyes, I ain't there yet...(I am going to catch flack for that statement...oh well) I know when folks marry, the vows in sickness and in health are there, but DAMN! How far do we take them. But don't does vows go out the window when said spouse phucks up?

But this issue begged the question...would you be willing to care for an unfaithful ex? What if you and said spouse actually parted ways, then they took sick and no one was there to care for them...would you step up and take care of them in their final days?



Anonymous said…
I guess that is the whole point Sassy,
Your Wedding vows don't go out the window when we mess up for most of us. The question in my eyes would be just how much each of us are willing to tolerate? That to me is the difference between being married and or shacking up! I am not to much for religion per se, but I consider myself to be very spiritual. I have a love for people in the way that Christ did in that He didn't make it His business to judge people. He just simply made them aware of the fruit that they were bearing. We all have issues, problems, faults, shortcomings, hangups, etc. I have experienced some things in Marriage that I definately would not be bothered with in my single days. Take the Sistah in this case for instance. I beleive that there is a special place in Heaven for those type of people for real!! =)I actually view her as being the stronger and not the weaker person in this situation. Granted, she may have a little fun and forget to feed him, change him or give him his medicine a few days out of the week! LOL....But on the real, She obviously has love for your cousin on a whole nother level like a lot of other Married folks. (Look at the late Ray Charles' wife for instance) I consider her to be the model of ultra cool wives! =) Anyway, I'm not condoning blatant "tryflinism" in any shape or form, but like I have said time and time again, We all know for the most part what type of person we are marrying before we commit to those (sacred) vows. It's our own personal decision to make on whether we are up for the challenge or not. Think about it, She has been wanting her husband all to herself for so many years but he has been stepping out since forever. Now she has him alllllll to herself____at least until she can make him well so he can go back out and do it ALL OVER AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOLLL

Peace & Love,
SassyScribe said…
I pray that my cousin gets well...and yes there may be a special spot in Heaven for her and folks of her ilk, but my gene for forgivness isn't as easily moved as hers. He broke their vows repeatedly, but you hit the nail on the head, she does have him to herself and thats all that counts. (SMH = Shaking My Head)

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