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Showing posts from March, 2008

He Cheated...Now What Part II

This popped up on a message board that I talk on...yet it is so very appropriate for my show topic tomorrow...its a letter a black man wrote about why he cheated on his wife...

I found this interesting to say the least...he touched on some points that I have heard some men make, but does that excuse the behavior? What are your thoughts on this...
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*Why I Cheat on My Beautiful Black Wife

I am a black man and a cheater. Not all the time, just every now and then. The itch comes to me, and no matter what my wife does, I still can't help but want another woman. At least for a night, or two, or three. I love my wife very much. No woman I've ever met or will meet will hold a more important place in my life. I also love my kids, our house, my job and the fish in my daughter's room. I love everything about my life at home, even though my relationship has become dull and rocky. But while I love having a strong black family, I…

He Was Your Girls Man First...Is He Fair Game?

With the onslaught of the perceived "man shortage" women are beginning to focus their attentions on men from their friends past. Meaning that they are revising their opinions of the once staunchly forbidden and "possibly" offensive rule of not dating your girlfriends exes/baby daddies/or jump-offs, maintenance men, or friends-with-benefits. In other words, if your girl had sexual relations/dealings of any kind, then he is unspokeningly off-limits to her posse/homegirls/sister gurls. Your homegirls/sistagirls especially know that he is now in an untouchable, a forever untouchable position, regardless of how sexy, or fine, or how much the two of you may have "vibed" with one another, he can't be touched.

Yet as women are growing older and the pool for eligible men is supposedly shrinking, they are mulling over whether or not to date an old flame of their friends. Statistics show that African American women are the most uncoupled women on earth, to wit it…

The Double Standard

Why is it when a man says he is looking to settle down, he is viewed as being tired of the game? Yet when a woman says she is ready to settle down because of the same reasoning, she is now viewed as being desperate or in a rush to marry.

Why is it that women are expected to forgive a cheating/philandering husband, yet a man is not expected to forgive a cheating/philandering wife?

Why is it an expectation that a woman will stand by her man regardless of his misdeed?

Why is it that single men who right/talk about relationships are viewed as giving sound advice, yet a single woman that does the same is viewed as being bitter and angry?

Why is it that a man who engages in multiple relationships is just a man “doing his thang”, yet a woman doing the same is a whore?

We are bombarded with various forms of media that continue to support this double standard. Let’s start with the most recent case of Governor Spitzer from NY who ran for public office vowing to eradicate crime and here he transports…

Relationships - Self Awareness & Knowing Your Self

Monday, March 3, 2008, I was a guest panelist along with Martina Evans, on THE FRONT PAGE, with host Craig Thompson, on WEAA 88.9 Morgan State Radio. The topic under discussion was dating and relationships...and I have to thank Martina Evans, the author of Worst First Dates and the Lessons Learned, for thinking of and inviting me to appear along with her.

However, I have been thinking about what some of the callers...one them stated that she was 46yo and "that nowadays all a man wishes to do is take you back to his home and screw." We touched on this that night and unfortunately, we were unable to delve deeper into the topic.

As I continue with research and viewing the breakdown in communication in the dating process I can see how she would get that mindset. It is my belief and opinion that some women are just making it too damn easy for some men. Don't get me wrong there are women that are more than willing to give it up the first time around, but for most men to automati…