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He Was Your Girls Man First...Is He Fair Game?

With the onslaught of the perceived "man shortage" women are beginning to focus their attentions on men from their friends past. Meaning that they are revising their opinions of the once staunchly forbidden and "possibly" offensive rule of not dating your girlfriends exes/baby daddies/or jump-offs, maintenance men, or friends-with-benefits. In other words, if your girl had sexual relations/dealings of any kind, then he is unspokeningly off-limits to her posse/homegirls/sister gurls. Your homegirls/sistagirls especially know that he is now in an untouchable, a forever untouchable position, regardless of how sexy, or fine, or how much the two of you may have "vibed" with one another, he can't be touched.

Yet as women are growing older and the pool for eligible men is supposedly shrinking, they are mulling over whether or not to date an old flame of their friends. Statistics show that African American women are the most uncoupled women on earth, to wit it stated that we are the group most likely to never experience a committed monogomous relationship that is recognized by law...meaning marriage. As more and more women are single, and wish not to be, they are beginning to ponder a tabu situation. These types of thoughts are not only limited to their girlfriends old flames, but also, they are looking at their exes home boys too. In some cases maybe even a relative of an ex.

However for some, this may not be an issue. I'm unsure as to whether this is decisive amongst genders, but when this topic was discussed amongst men, it seemed not to matter as much as when it came to their boy dating one of their former girlfriends. They did feel that had they been married it would give them cause to pause, because they may wonder if they hooked up during the marrige, but if they just dated it would not matter.

Women are and continue to remain fast about this, regardless as to whether or not marriage was involved the expectation is that their girlfriends know better. They are not talking about friends of friends and/or acquaintances, they are talking about tried and true friends. Again, the rule is an unspoken one, there is no need to even voice a thought and/or opinion, as it is written in the unwritten "women's code of ethics" book.

For many women [self included] the rule is simple...I don't care how good he looks- you don't touch it. And for my circle of friends its very easy because we all have varying taste in men and quite frankly we would not wish to go "behind one another" as much as we love one another...the thought is repulsive.

Thus this does not negate the fact that if he was your girls man first or your exes boy...does that make them ineligible for dating?

I am interested in your thoughts...



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