3 Greatest Loves                                Recently I learned that we only experience 3 great loves of our lives. I had no idea because I’ve only experienced the first of those 2 loves and I hope before I die, I get to experience the 3 rd . What are the 3 greatest loves that we will experience? Young Love/First Love Our first of the three is that of young love or our first love. It is new and fresh and has our emotions all over the place. We are told that this type of love doesn’t last, but we all know high school sweethearts who have been together since high school or in some cases middle school. I had this experience with my high school sweetheart; it lasted 15yrs...until it didn't. . Toxic Love Our second love is that Toxic Love. It’s that love where there is always some sort of drama or contention and for whate...

I’ve been told by some men that I have met that I “think like a dude”, and that statement made me laugh, because I do have a “dudetality”. I am surrounded by women that have a “dudetality” and that’s alright! For those that don’t know me, I am outspoken and opinionated. I am very direct and at times I don’t have a filter between my brain and my tongue. I understand that it’s not what I say, but how I say it, however, I feel like people are coddled too damn much at times and they need to hear it straight with no chaser. Why pretty the words up or delay the blow? Some people try to play dumb and act like they don’t know and/or understand the words that are coming out of your mouth, especially if you’re being “nice” about it. Some people need to hear it in a rough manner in order for them to see the stupidity of their ways. For example…a few years ago I remember coming home and one of my sister’s girlfriends had stopped past for a visit. I did not care for this girl, so when I came in, I ...

God blessed I love FB and all other social networking sites, because it allows me to be Sassy and speak my mind on topics I love... but most importantly it is a vessel that is allowing me to speak to women about their hangups and stupidty when it comes to men, dating, sex, and relationships. Yes, I said stupidity...it looks as if some of them are getting dumber and more desparate as they get older. You know when I hear them saying the same things over and over adnauseum it makes my teeth itch. Why? Why is it that women have not learned from their mistakes? Why are they still asking the same damn questions over and over...how do I know if he likes me, is he only after sex...why is he lying to me, why does't he want to spend time with me...WTF I can't take it anymore...Ladies, dating is so very easy...we have been blessed with a third eye and an uncanny intuition that talks to us everyday. Not just on matters of the heart but on all matters that involve, money, our children, our ...

Three years ago I read an article in the Washington Post by Joy Jones entitled “Marriage is for White People” and the article talked to adolescent children who claimed that marriage was for white people. It went on to state various statistics, i.e. since the 1960’s the marriage rate for African American’s has continued to drop. Statistics such as this and others of its ilk about Black women and the Black community prompted me to ask why is it that marriage is not preached, instilled, taught, or encouraged in our community. Having grown up in a two parent household, whose parents are still alive and together, I witnessed love, struggle, trials, and tribulations. I witnessed infidelity and counseling, and two people working together to create, grow, build, learn, and love---together. It is the reason why I believe in the sanctity of marriage. I believe in standing before God and repeating vows to merge your lives into one. I believe in the sacrament of the vows. What I don’t believe in, ...

Cynthia Nixon did it. Lindsay Lohan's doing it. TV shows are based on it. Is it our imaginations, or are wives and girlfriends ditching their men and falling in love with other women? New science says that sexuality is more fluid than we thought. Lately, a new kind of sisterly love seems to be in the air. In the past few years, Sex and the City's Cynthia Nixon left a boyfriend after a decade and a half and started dating a woman (and talked openly about it). Actress Lindsay Lohan and DJ Samantha Ronson flaunted their relationship from New York to Dubai. Katy Perry's song "I Kissed a Girl" topped the charts. The L Word, Work Out, and Top Chef are featuring gay women on TV, and there's even talk of a lesbian reality show in the works. Certainly nothing is new about women having sex with women, but we've arrived at a moment in the popular culture when it all suddenly seems almost fashionable — or at least, acceptable. Statistics on how many women have traded ...

In light of the recent events between Rihanna and Chris Brown, I felt this needs to be discussed. Allegedly Chris contracted herpes from Rihanna and this is the reason his camp gave for his physical abuse towards her... I am not saying that what he did was right, because I do not advocate a man hitting a woman, however, if I were in his shoes, I would be upset as well, and most likely physically violent..afterall, herpes is something you live with forever. Maybe she is the only woman he has been with, who knows, or maybe one of his groupies gave it to him...not sure, but because of this and the fact that OUR community has the highest rates of STD's and HIV/AIDS cases... There are still supposedly grown men and women who are still in this "he/she looks clean" type of thing, as if their eyes can scan their bodies like Superman with the infared powers and see diseased cells within a person's body...NOT! So does the condom come off after 3 months, 6 months, a year...after...

I am a huge fan of Steve Harvey! I love his morning show and I thoroughly enjoy his Strawberry Letter segment, but everyday, it’s a different woman allowing a man to keep his foot on her neck. I constantly find myself laughing and shaking my head, because I find it funny? Is it really that important to be in a relationship? I know that no one wishes to or wants to grow old alone, but damn, what happened to have self respect? Over the weekend, the girls and I went out for a drink and we were talking about how long it takes women to “figure” it out. Why is it that some women have yet to understand themselves and/or know their own power? I told them that a friend asked me why women gave each other bad advice all the time…honestly, we didn’t know, because our sect is very outspoken and at times “inyourface” with our opinions. Added to that he asked why do women hate on each other? It’s as if the minute a woman thinks that there is a possible chance of “hooking up” or getting themselves...

In the past weeks I have trolled several online communities and have witnessed various postings relating of, for, and about relationships. “Why He Won’t Marry”, “Men That Don’t Want Relationships”, “How To Propose To Your Man” and the list goes on and on. Getting that man to the church on time and not making him make you wait forever seems to be a common thread topic on most message boards. People all over are celebrating the fact that now non-heterosexual couples can legally marry in California? Correct me if I am wrong, but haven't they been doing “commitment” ceremonies for years and hasn’t that been a way of showing their love and I don’t know maybe COMMITMENT to one another!!! Why is the chance to “marry” so important IF YOU ARE ALREADY COMMITTED EMOTIONALLY, MENTALLY, SPIRITUALLY, AND PHYSICALLY TO THE ONE YOU LOVE !!!! I don’t want to hear that they can now enjoy spousal benefits yada yada yada. Some companies, especially those in heavily populated non-heterosexual areas alr...

As a woman I do not believe that I have all of the answers…hell, I just feel that I follow my instinct about men and it has enabled or equipped me with a sense of discernment that I honestly did not have four years ago. In my opinion [and my blogs are just that] dating is not very hard and/or as complicated as folks would like people to believe. On Saturday, March 29th, I facilitated a discussion entitle Technology and Dating- has it helped or hindered the dating process? [blog written Dec ‘07] http://xcapadesofthegirlz.blogspot.com/2007/12/technology-dating.html And it amazed me that out of the fifteen or so individuals in the room, only two of them were dating, and that was myself and one other woman. We discussed the pro’s and con’s of online dating, the high number of individuals that are meeting and marrying online [30k/annually], the ratio of men to women online, the percentage of married men online [40%] and that 72% of women are more likely to find a lover from an online conn...

WOW! 2008 has arrived... I want to wish you all a Blessed & Prosperous New Year! As I prepared for the new year, and a new phase in my life I struggled with where to begin. Unlike alot of people, 2007 was a great year for me...I enjoyed alot of success and a few failurers...I met new people that helped me in my growing process and removed myself from some old ones that were attempting to hold me back. I lost some family members near and dear to me, a wonderful aunt, cousin, and uncle in that order...these losses pulled my family closer together, making us stronger, caring, and more loving than ever. However, I was still not sure of what my "resolution" for the year 2008 would be, until I ran across this message board posting from the mighty and wise Grumpy from the FAF board... Didi & UB will know whom it is I am talking about...the message is about A C C E P T A N C E...and that is my New Years Resolution... _________________ One of the greatest causes of our unhappi...

How do you keep a person attracted once you have piqued their interest? As much as I talk about playing hard to get and ain't get got, sometimes playing hard to get can net the result of being got. Of course this only works if the person is truly interested in you...if they aren't then its an act of futility because sometimes if you don't know how to play the game right, then you end up pissing them off or pushing them away...and that is what we don't want... Playing hard to get at times can be a necessary evil, because as much as some of us hate to do it, and as much as some of us may not be very good at doing it, however, it can weed out the bad apples so to speak. If they only have a passing interest in you, then playing hard to get for them is going to prove to be too much work, and in the end they will stop the hard press pursuit. This can enligthen us in other ways as well, by increasing our awareness to our surroundings and also showing us what it is we like, and...

Its been said that...modern women don't cook...traditional women do...traditional men are gentlemen...modern men are dogs...traditional women knew their role and place, modern women continue to get out of pocket. Traditional women are supportive, uplifting, respectful, loving, and kind. Modern women are argumentative, lazy, potty mouth, and only seem to be willing to perform random acts of kindness if it will get them somewhere. Traditional men are gentlemen, knows how to treat a woman like a queen, and is the ultimate caring, supportive, responsible provider. Modern men don't care don't give a phuck about treating you like a lady they on are on a stick and move tip. (before you bitch and moan, I generalized because that is how the thoughts came to me...not all men and women are like that)... (((smile))) I have talked to alot of people and this argument will probably go on until the end of time...but is there truth in any of the above statements? If you sit back and compare...