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What Women Wear...Representing & Perception

Baltimore is rich with culture and the discovery of new and exciting places is always fun! I had the pleasure of enjoying one such spot recently and although a little pricey for food and drinks it is the atmosphere that I go for...atmosphere is that which I seek, especially when I am on a people watching jaunt.

This particular night was no different when it came to sitting back, sipping on my Tuaca (glass chilled w/lemon and lime) as I perused the mixed crowd of thirty and forty something's eagerly trying to catch the eye for "the one".

What I noticed most especially is the way in which some of the women were dressed and yet I watched how disturbed they became because their dress garnered the wrong attention from men. One young lady in particular who I have to admit was ROCKING her outfit, at first walked in with much confidence and as the eyes of the men caressed her body in albiet open admiration, I witnessed through the night that she was not feeling the attention. Let me describe the outfit...she was a tall dark skinned woman, whose skin was amazingly smooth and flawless, her top was short black sweater shrug that stopped just below her bra-line...with this she wore blue jeans and black pumps...which from the front looks rather demure, however as she turned the top of the jeans are cut low and rise just above the baseline of her butt, and then the killer --- two round circles cut out in the back that were lined with silver...I looked at her and was like, she has the body and she should be able to wear whatever she wants...besides that as I said, she rocked it.

I don't know what was funnier...the hate and look of scorn from other women (both black and white) or the look of WOW that the men had (both black and white) and the excitement on their faces as she walked in.

I witnessed two things - hatred from women and negative attention from men. The hatred that other women have towards one another was funny and yet sad at the same time. I saw envy of women who did not possess the body that this woman had and wished they did, but rather than saying "you go girl" their lips furled in disgust and you could see the cattiness pouring from their lips. Their eyes cocked to the side as the sauntered past...amazing...I gave her thumbs up...because although I don't have the body that she had...I had the confidence that others lacked...besides I was their to people watch...look at "subjects" for some of my forthcoming projects...anyhoo...

Then there was the glazed and envious looks from the men...their were those that wanted to run up to her and say something so bad, but their confidence just wasn't up to par, and then their were those that were cocky enough to make an attempt and approach, and then there were those that were just straight up with the salacious comments.

I am all for women wearing whatever it is they feel comfortable with and/or what they deem makes them attractive. We all have a different opinion of what that may be...this woman felt good in nearly their outfit...but its the negative attention that you could tell she was not feeling.

See ladies, it is rather confusing to a man when you dress with SEX on display and for all and sundry to see, yet want the man to approach as a lady, when you have on the uniform of the average street walker. Men although some say may want a woman to dress sexy, and wear revealing clothers, they really don't. Not his woman...he does not want all and sundry to see the girls poppin' out of the shirt or the ass peeking through your jeans. They may not admit it, but the minute to wear an advertisement such as that, you have immediately given him the signal that you want sex, you are down for sex, and that maybe if he plays his cards right and say the right thing he may get sex from you that night.

I know this thought process is wrong. I know that you should not be perceived in such a manner, but as I tell ladies, "YOU CANNOT CONTROL HOW YOU ARE PERCEIVED, YOU CAN ONLY CONTROL HOW YOUR REPRESENT YOURSELF" thus, you can control the perception folks have by the representation of self. I you present yourself as loose or easy, then you will be perceived as loose or easy. Ladies I know as a woman that at times to men we seem like enigmas wrapped in a riddle, and unfortunately some of us. Men can't quite figure some of us out...but we have to at times display that which we want them to see.

You know I see women all the time getting upset over this negative attention to an aspect of their clothing, that you can't judge a book by its cover so to speak...but what else is a man to think if you come out half dressed, then talk about you want him to treat you as a lady. Then maybe you should dress as one. You know its not a good look to wear a low cut shirt then continue to pull the shirt up to hide the breast that you deliberately put on display. Its not a good look when every five steps you take you are pulling down that dress or skirt that you knew was too short when you left the house...

Look ladies I know its a double standard and that we should not be judged by how we dress, but we are...its part of the game, but sometimes you have to change your strategy. Sometimes its more provocative what you're not showing as opposed to what it is you are showing. Its a difference in being overtly sexual and demurely sensual...its really quite simple...and its sad that some of us still haven't quite figured it out that...(SMMFH) because as I finished up my drink and paid my tab, I laughed because some women still think that the state of your dress is what makes one sexy...when that is not the case at all...it pains me to have to say this again...but

Sexy is a state of mind...not a state of dress...Sexy is when you walk in the room and your very presence commands attention from others...Sexy is a cocky arrogance that you know, what you know, what you know...and you got to dig it...to dig it...Sexy exudes from your skin and allows your aura to glow...others will see it and want to bask in it...and if you don't believe me...try it!

SassyScribe

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