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Desensitized To Love

At one point in our lives, everyone has had their heartbroken and/or broken someone's heart. We have been in great relationships that for some reason didn't work and we have been in bad relationships that were destined to fail from the beginning, however, as much as folks say that they wish they had that special someone in their lives, what are they willing to do to get that person? Are they willing to be open and free letting folks in or are they holding off and holding back for fear of being hurt. Are we so desensitized now that folks are no longer saying that their hearts are being broken, rather than their feelings were bruised, because bruise is better than broken. That your heart is still somewhat intact althought it may have a slight crack, it can heal quicker...

When listening to issues from women and some men, I have come to the conclusion that as much as men and women say they want that special someone in their life WE {women/men} don't seem willing to let our guard down 100% and let someone in our lives. We seem to be looking for a trigger of some sort, laying back up in the cut and just watching what happens. Some are playing the hard to get role and aint get got, some are angry and bitter, some are just plain lonely and tired. Yet we all want to date and/or or meet someone that we can spend time with, enjoy laughter, joys, pains, and sorrows...its not about sex, because it appears that sex means nothing. Sex for some is like taking a shower, its something you do twice a day...doesn't matter where you shower so long as you shower...so it doesn't matter whom you are sexing so long as you are having sex...right?

As facetious as that sounds it seems to be true...places like myspace and other social networking sites have made alot of folks jaded. They see folks appearing one way online and yet acting another way in person. Statistics show that 72% of women will meet their lover online, but only 52% of men are online and out of that percent 40% of them are married/involved. Online folks can read into things that are pretty cut and dried and rather than ask questions they allow issues to cloud their mind with doubt. People are becoming so guarded and jaded that we are always on the defensive and ready to jump ship and run at the slightest hint of anything?

But if you are so willing and ready to jump ship is that the type of person you truly want in your life? I would hope not, but for some 30% of something is better than 0% of nothing...and being alone can create a void or vacuum in a persons life that they are willing to fulfill it at all cost...and then when it doesn't work out because you didn't see the signs you lay blame at others rather than your own door...so now your guard has elevated another 10%, and when that next person appears in your life, you are already withholding 60% of your self in check for fear of the cycle happening again.

I share the burden with others that write and/or speak on topics relating to men and women because we all can talk about it, but what are our solutions. How can we get people to be 100% real from the beginning? How can we show people that when they step to another they need to come and/or step correct...that they want a person straight up, not shaken or stirred.

As real as I know that I am...I too still encounter BS from people, but note its only an encounter because at the first sign of BS I am out...now is my guard up or am I just wise enough to recognize that a person hasn't stepped to me at 100%, rather they have come with their guard partially up?

My question to the bloogers: Are individuals becoming desensitized when it comes to dating or are they just guarding their hearts?

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