In the past weeks I have trolled several online communities and have witnessed various postings relating of, for, and about relationships. “Why He Won’t Marry”, “Men That Don’t Want Relationships”, “How To Propose To Your Man” and the list goes on and on. Getting that man to the church on time and not making him make you wait forever seems to be a common thread topic on most message boards. People all over are celebrating the fact that now non-heterosexual couples can legally marry in California? Correct me if I am wrong, but haven't they been doing “commitment” ceremonies for years and hasn’t that been a way of showing their love and I don’t know maybe COMMITMENT to one another!!! Why is the chance to “marry” so important IF YOU ARE ALREADY COMMITTED EMOTIONALLY, MENTALLY, SPIRITUALLY, AND PHYSICALLY TO THE ONE YOU LOVE !!!! I don’t want to hear that they can now enjoy spousal benefits yada yada yada. Some companies, especially those in heavily populated non-heterosexual areas alr...

Tomorrow I am doing a show on church folks and how their hypocritical stance on issues is pissing me off! First of all, regarding the Black church, there are inherent and systemic problems from how the money is handled to the issue of the high number of choir directors that are gay… I know some folks are gonna get their panties in a bunch over this…but I have been witness to folks shouting AMEN at 11:03 am each and every Sunday and those same “Christians” are outside saying “did you see what that Bitch had on”…I’m like WTF…look I sit in church and my mind is thinking about a sex scene for a book or even having sex…I’m not saying that its right, but I am not one of those folks going around bragging about being “saved” yet having “unsaved” actions. I know how hard it is to walk the walk…to stay on the straight and narrow…but I also know that although my mind may not be right at times…my heart is…so when I hear about pastors having children out of wedlock or that choir members are fucking...

This blog is going to sound contradictory to what I have written in the past...but I have to say this...as a woman I can tell you that I am so tired communicating my thoughts, my wants, my wishes and my desires to men. When I listen to professional phsycologists & phsychiatrist they are quick to tell people that you have to "talk out" your feelings. Don't allow anything to fester...but as a woman, how many times are we going to continue to talk and receive no action from it? When is it time for women to shut the hell up and rest out on it? I have learned to ask a man a question....and then be quiet! Yeah, I know I have the gift of gab and I have been known to want to talk a whole in someone's head, but as hard as it is for me to do it...I have learned to stifle my motor mouth and rest it out...lay back up in the cut, and not say a word....hhhhh...not a sound from me and it forces him to answer the question. Now whether or not he chooses to answer is another issue....

I always tell people why it is that I am single. But you know what, the more I think about it, the more I believe that men are just fucking weak! Why is it that an out spoken, self assured, somewhat aggressive, sexy, independent woman is not a “hot commodity” for men? Why is it that men seem to say they want women like that…women that are ambitious and successful and independent, yet when they meet said females, for what ever reason she is not as attractive as he thought? I hear women discuss this issue a lot. Women that own their own homes, that have their own cars, and basically ones that can create a bill and pay that bill are often disparaged by men. A young relative of mine stated that she has had men tell her that she isn’t needy enough…that there really is only one reason as to why she needs a man and that is for sex. Not that she may be, I don’t know, lonely at times…that maybe she would like to have a man in her life for more than just a walking dick, but rather for a companio...

I don't want this to seem a vent or tantrum but I actually started to write this blog on June 10, 2007 while sitting in Hartsfield Airport in ATL on my return trip from Vegas. I was musing about conversations I had had with members of the opposite sex as well as those I have witnessed others having and it just makes me laugh outloud at this whole honesty thing... So I mulled it over....I wrote about it...I did focus group discussions, and I've even done my talk show on this topic. I gave it almost a year and the end result I found is that PEOPLE not just men and not just women, don't want the truth . Men say they want a woman to be honest, but in actual fact, they don't...they really want some things to remain a mystery. They can spout of all the BS they choose, about not finding an honest woman, but they truly don't want to know ALL....they just want to know enough. Enough to make a decision of whether or not you fit the "potential" category...enough to k...

At one point in our lives, everyone has had their heartbroken and/or broken someone's heart. We have been in great relationships that for some reason didn't work and we have been in bad relationships that were destined to fail from the beginning, however, as much as folks say that they wish they had that special someone in their lives, what are they willing to do to get that person? Are they willing to be open and free letting folks in or are they holding off and holding back for fear of being hurt. Are we so desensitized now that folks are no longer saying that their hearts are being broken, rather than their feelings were bruised, because bruise is better than broken. That your heart is still somewhat intact althought it may have a slight crack, it can heal quicker... When listening to issues from women and some men, I have come to the conclusion that as much as men and women say they want that special someone in their life WE {women/men} don't seem willing to let our gu...

WOW! I am a cougar or so states the social commentators for women over 35 or is it 40 that date younger men. I do not see myself as a cougar, because I do not openly nor actively seek younger men...they seek me out! I feel pretty damn good because of that...and I enjoy the company of younger men, not younger fools, but men that are focused and accomplished in their own right...besides old men have been pursuing younger women for years...isn't it time for the tables to turn? Chime in on the discussion... SassyScribe

As a woman I do not believe that I have all of the answers…hell, I just feel that I follow my instinct about men and it has enabled or equipped me with a sense of discernment that I honestly did not have four years ago. In my opinion [and my blogs are just that] dating is not very hard and/or as complicated as folks would like people to believe. On Saturday, March 29th, I facilitated a discussion entitle Technology and Dating- has it helped or hindered the dating process? [blog written Dec ‘07] http://xcapadesofthegirlz.blogspot.com/2007/12/technology-dating.html And it amazed me that out of the fifteen or so individuals in the room, only two of them were dating, and that was myself and one other woman. We discussed the pro’s and con’s of online dating, the high number of individuals that are meeting and marrying online [30k/annually], the ratio of men to women online, the percentage of married men online [40%] and that 72% of women are more likely to find a lover from an online conn...

This popped up on a message board that I talk on...yet it is so very appropriate for my show topic tomorrow...its a letter a black man wrote about why he cheated on his wife... I found this interesting to say the least...he touched on some points that I have heard some men make, but does that excuse the behavior? What are your thoughts on this... ______________________________________________________________ *Why I Cheat on My Beautiful Black Wife I am a black man and a cheater. Not all the time, just every now and then. The itch comes to me, and no matter what my wife does, I still can't help but want another woman. At least for a night, or two, or three. I love my wife very much. No woman I've ever met or will meet will hold a more important place in my life. I also love my kids, our house, my job and the fish in my daughter's room. I love everything about my life at home, even though my relationship has become dull and rocky. But while I love having a strong black family...

With the onslaught of the perceived "man shortage" women are beginning to focus their attentions on men from their friends past. Meaning that they are revising their opinions of the once staunchly forbidden and "possibly" offensive rule of not dating your girlfriends exes/baby daddies/or jump-offs, maintenance men, or friends-with-benefits. In other words, if your girl had sexual relations/dealings of any kind, then he is unspokeningly off-limits to her posse/homegirls/sister gurls. Your homegirls/sistagirls especially know that he is now in an untouchable, a forever untouchable position, regardless of how sexy, or fine, or how much the two of you may have "vibed" with one another, he can't be touched. Yet as women are growing older and the pool for eligible men is supposedly shrinking, they are mulling over whether or not to date an old flame of their friends. Statistics show that African American women are the most uncoupled women on earth, to wit it...

Why is it when a man says he is looking to settle down, he is viewed as being tired of the game? Yet when a woman says she is ready to settle down because of the same reasoning, she is now viewed as being desperate or in a rush to marry. Why is it that women are expected to forgive a cheating/philandering husband, yet a man is not expected to forgive a cheating/philandering wife? Why is it an expectation that a woman will stand by her man regardless of his misdeed? Why is it that single men who right/talk about relationships are viewed as giving sound advice, yet a single woman that does the same is viewed as being bitter and angry? Why is it that a man who engages in multiple relationships is just a man “doing his thang”, yet a woman doing the same is a whore? We are bombarded with various forms of media that continue to support this double standard. Let’s start with the most recent case of Governor Spitzer from NY who ran for public office vowing to eradicate crime and here he transp...

Monday, March 3, 2008, I was a guest panelist along with Martina Evans, on THE FRONT PAGE, with host Craig Thompson, on WEAA 88.9 Morgan State Radio. The topic under discussion was dating and relationships...and I have to thank Martina Evans, the author of Worst First Dates and the Lessons Learned, for thinking of and inviting me to appear along with her. However, I have been thinking about what some of the callers...one them stated that she was 46yo and "that nowadays all a man wishes to do is take you back to his home and screw." We touched on this that night and unfortunately, we were unable to delve deeper into the topic. As I continue with research and viewing the breakdown in communication in the dating process I can see how she would get that mindset. It is my belief and opinion that some women are just making it too damn easy for some men. Don't get me wrong there are women that are more than willing to give it up the first time around, but for most men to automat...

Found another one thanks to my man SoulChild...who happens to be my personal web guru...mucho gracias~ http://health.yahoo.com/experts/menlovesex/73762/why-men-dont-talk/ Why Men Don't Talk As the editor of the biggest men's magazine in the world, I am privy to something many women rarely hear - straightforward, uninhibited guy talk. Don't be so shocked - guys do actually talk, and not just about Tom Brady's quarterback rating. Most women think their man is the strong, silent type (or maybe the oblivious, silent type), and they wonder why he doesn't share his feelings. But here's the truth: Men do want to open up, about their hopes, their fears, and their passions. Yet put him alone in a room with you, and he often turns into a Sphinx. Why can't he take his eyes off the TV and talk about the state of the relationship, or the finances, or, heck, the backyard landscaping? Why in the world can't he just summarize his day for 10 minutes? In fact, one in fi...

Interesting find online... -------------------------------------------- http://health.yahoo.com/experts/m...sex/78433/what-makes-a-man-marry/ What Makes a Man Marry? I have a friend who spent two weeks in Europe with his girlfriend, and some of it didn't go too well. He didn't like the haircut she got pre-trip. She didn't like the way his eye wandered on the streets of Paris. They fought some. So when my friend got back home, he asked a wise friend (no, certainly not me) what he should do. Here's the advice he got: Every relationship is going to come up against some obstacles. They'll either break it up, or make it stronger. If it ends, it wasn't meant to be. If you push through, the relationship will be better than ever. That's stuck with me for a long time, in part because my friend is now 21 years into marriage with that one-time girlfriend. So I'm just guessing that their relationship grew stronger when they faced obstacles. What made the differenc...

So your gut instinct was right...you found out he cheated, so now what do you do? Many of your friends will tell you to leave him, but the majority of women will not leave after the first time they find out that their mate has cheated. To be honest, the majority of women stay, rather its for love or lifestyle, they very rarely leave. I know so many so-called married folks that on the surface appear to be happy and beneath they are both cheating neither getting what it is they want from the other, so rather than separate they step out and come back. A revolving door of random individuals throughtout their relationship. I've heard men say they stay because of the children, as if that situation is ideal for the kids. Is it ideal if their is no sign of affection between the parents? What is that teaching and/or showing the children? What if the parents are constantly fighting, sniping, griping, and back biting one another...what does that show? Shouldn't the children know what its ...

The 1995 Box office hit “WAITING TO EXHALE” , told the story of four African American women, one married with an impending divorce, one a single mother, and two single women both struggling in relationships with lothario’s and married men. I watched that movie again this morning (3am) and it got me to thinking…How many women are still “waiting to exhale”? How many of them are still waiting for “the one”…”the knight in shining armor”…their soul mate, the one person who really and truly loves, cherishes and understands them. That one person who can finish their sentence, make their heart race, that one person who would do anything for them…no questions asked. I’ve seen this movie at least 100 times, but this time…it moved me to tears. Angela Bassett lying in Wesley Snipes arms saddened and pissed over her impending divorce. Loretta Divine crying to Gregory Hines over her son leaving to tour Europe and her admitting that he had been the man in her life and how unfair it was of her to burd...

It’s no secret that for the past six years my sister and my two cousins, and I throw a fabulously hot Valentine’s Day Party. Its live, off the hook, and interactive, with games, food, music, and prizes…there are sample drinks passed out each hour…a chocolate fountain with huge California vine ripened succulent strawberries…and a wide array of other desserts and delectable morsels. There is a good time had by all, young and the young at heart. We do discriminate with ticket sales because we only want the Grown & Sexy in attendance…the exception we make is for the parents and aunts and uncles…hell, they taught us how to throw a party…how to get different groups to mix and mingle and stop sitting around all bougie and shyt. But as I write this I am perplexed…Why is it that the word Valentine tends to scare and/or invoke a fear in people? Is it an admission or an acceptance of their own loneliness? I wonder? You know I’ve been throwing this party for six years with no date and when I h...

Too many times I listen to women talk about how a man has done them wrong…and I hear men talking about how women aren’t being honest, or women don’t know what it is that they want…but ladies, do men really and truly know what they want? Hell no! Men say they want a woman that’s a freak in the bed, a good cook, independent, fun to be around, does not nag , allows him his space, and is a good mother…for some men that have this it still appears to not be enough… Men you may not like this, but what Tyler Perry wrote in his movie “Why Did I Get Married” about that 80/20 rule and that you are only going to get 80% of what you need or want in a person, but because folks are still searching and think they have found something better in that 20% person they go for it…then guess what…that 20% person wasn’t as great as they thought. The grass isn’t always greener on the other side…sometimes its full of rocks...but men have to find out the hard way. You saw how it played out in the movie…it plays...

FEBRUARY 2008 SHOW Show Schedule www.blogtalkradio.com/SASSYENTERTAINMENT - 646.716.7414 Thursday, February 7th @ 9pm - Men & Women Are Built Differently - Do you believe that men and women are built differently when it comes to sex...do you think an uninhibited woman is a whore...do you think women that have casual sex or one night stands are using this as a defense mechanism to stave off the ills of being hurt? ***Wednesday, February 13th @ 9pm*** (Special Valentine's Show) - WHY DID HE BREAK UP WITH ME? - Have you ever been dumped and all you were left with was the lingering question, "Why did he break up with me?" What woman hasn't been there? Special Guest DeBora Ricks, author of Love Addicted will dish the dirt with Sassy! This show is not to be missed because everyone has a story to tell... Thursday, February 21st @9pm - HOMOSEXUALITY & THE BLACK COMMUNITY - The community abhores it...the church scorns and shuns it, the family is ashamed of it, and f...

I don't think its a secret that I have been a fan of Senator Barack Obama since he spoke at the DNC in 2004...since then I have been following his career...and it is my hope that he receives the nomination for President. That is why it still bothers me when I hear that blacks are divided in their decision between Obama & Clinton. So when I received this in an email, and although I did not write this piece below, I was compelled to share it...enjoy! When Black is Enough Please, make me a believer! I must confess, I feel that in being a Barack Obama supporter I have missed something or as the media portrays…I have missed everything the Clinton's have done for me, a black woman in America. Since I am truly a socialite at heart who hates to miss an event, let alone a decade of the African-American migration to a better life; please can someone?...Anyone? Tell me what exactly the Clinton's have done for black people that has made our loyalty so steadfast and unwavering! Or a...