I don't want this to seem a vent or tantrum but I actually started to write this blog on June 10, 2007 while sitting in Hartsfield Airport in ATL on my return trip from Vegas. I was musing about conversations I had had with members of the opposite sex as well as those I have witnessed others having and it just makes me laugh outloud at this whole honesty thing...
So I mulled it over....I wrote about it...I did focus group discussions, and I've even done my talk show on this topic. I gave it almost a year and the end result I found is that PEOPLE not just men and not just women, don't want the truth. Men say they want a woman to be honest, but in actual fact, they don't...they really want some things to remain a mystery. They can spout of all the BS they choose, about not finding an honest woman, but they truly don't want to know ALL....they just want to know enough. Enough to make a decision of whether or not you fit the "potential" category...enough to know whether or not you fit the "buddies" category, and just about most fit the "booty call" category...they just want to know enough...
Unlike women who need to know and got to know everything and yet when they do know everything suddenly he isn't as attractive or appealing as he used to be...again they are trapped into asking questions they truly do not wish to know the answers to...but that burning need to know forces the question from their lips and nine times out of ten its not the answer they were expecting.
How many times have I written about honesty being the best policy? Probably too many to count...but yet and I still, I continue to run into people who insist on telling a half truth or a lie by omission.
Funny, I was listening toTheTroy Johnson Show WHFS.comand he did a segment on lying and stated that if people live to the age of 77.8 yrs, they will have told 110,000 lies, that averages out to four (4) lies per person daily. Can you imagine that...how many lies do you think were told to women about marital status, number of children, employment, living arrangements, etc...and the same question can be asked of women...
Thats alot of lies, but as I think about recent situations in my life and how things come to light, sometimes people have no other way to spare a persons feelings than to lie...or is it just plain ole selfishness? Are people lying because they may fear the persons reactions to the truth...or is it that initially they only up 50% of the information regarding themselves?
I had a conversation with a friend last night and he was so frustrated at the whole dating process and for the life of him wonders why women lie so much? I had to counteract and say that men lie as well, but have any of us considered that some folks are just out and out liars...cheats...beats?
Sometimes people won't tell the truth if their lives depended upon it...an example is the question on sexual partners or sexual orientation...if you ask a person how many people they are currently sleeping with rest assured they are not going to be honest, its a fact. I always tell women if a man isn't going to be honest about the number of women they are currently sleeping with do you honestly think he is going to divulge a lust for and acknowlegement of sleeping with other men??? Come on now...we all know the answer to that...some things folks take to the grave...
Not to sound high and mighty, because yes I have told lies to spare feelings or lied by omission...so I am guilty of this as well...but for everyone trying to enter into and/or are seeking to forge "a more perfect union" with someone of the opposite, then honesty is always the best policy. Do not send a representative of yourself, because as I have always written and stated, the true self will out within 30 - 90 days...
SassyScribe
So I mulled it over....I wrote about it...I did focus group discussions, and I've even done my talk show on this topic. I gave it almost a year and the end result I found is that PEOPLE not just men and not just women, don't want the truth. Men say they want a woman to be honest, but in actual fact, they don't...they really want some things to remain a mystery. They can spout of all the BS they choose, about not finding an honest woman, but they truly don't want to know ALL....they just want to know enough. Enough to make a decision of whether or not you fit the "potential" category...enough to know whether or not you fit the "buddies" category, and just about most fit the "booty call" category...they just want to know enough...
Unlike women who need to know and got to know everything and yet when they do know everything suddenly he isn't as attractive or appealing as he used to be...again they are trapped into asking questions they truly do not wish to know the answers to...but that burning need to know forces the question from their lips and nine times out of ten its not the answer they were expecting.
How many times have I written about honesty being the best policy? Probably too many to count...but yet and I still, I continue to run into people who insist on telling a half truth or a lie by omission.
Funny, I was listening toTheTroy Johnson Show WHFS.comand he did a segment on lying and stated that if people live to the age of 77.8 yrs, they will have told 110,000 lies, that averages out to four (4) lies per person daily. Can you imagine that...how many lies do you think were told to women about marital status, number of children, employment, living arrangements, etc...and the same question can be asked of women...
Thats alot of lies, but as I think about recent situations in my life and how things come to light, sometimes people have no other way to spare a persons feelings than to lie...or is it just plain ole selfishness? Are people lying because they may fear the persons reactions to the truth...or is it that initially they only up 50% of the information regarding themselves?
I had a conversation with a friend last night and he was so frustrated at the whole dating process and for the life of him wonders why women lie so much? I had to counteract and say that men lie as well, but have any of us considered that some folks are just out and out liars...cheats...beats?
Sometimes people won't tell the truth if their lives depended upon it...an example is the question on sexual partners or sexual orientation...if you ask a person how many people they are currently sleeping with rest assured they are not going to be honest, its a fact. I always tell women if a man isn't going to be honest about the number of women they are currently sleeping with do you honestly think he is going to divulge a lust for and acknowlegement of sleeping with other men??? Come on now...we all know the answer to that...some things folks take to the grave...
Not to sound high and mighty, because yes I have told lies to spare feelings or lied by omission...so I am guilty of this as well...but for everyone trying to enter into and/or are seeking to forge "a more perfect union" with someone of the opposite, then honesty is always the best policy. Do not send a representative of yourself, because as I have always written and stated, the true self will out within 30 - 90 days...
SassyScribe
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