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Black Women & Self Hate


Congratulations to Gabby Douglas for her gold medal win at the 30th Olympiad in London 2012.

However her win was tarnished by negative comments on her hair. And it wasn’t coming from Caucasians; it was coming from Black women!

The accolades were overshadowed by the negative and derogatory comments over her hair. It is a continuing saga that Black women seem to have for one another. Is it envy, self hatred, or jealousy? Why is it that sisters hate on each other?

That question got me to thinking and I really stopped and watched black women over the weekend. My gender never ceases to amaze me! I mean I go out and I hear women saying things that sound good, but when I looked at them, I mean really looked and truly listened you could tell that they weren’t “sincere”. It was like they were trying to co-sign with me, and that’s not an easy task to do. I am a strong willed and very very very outspoken individual. I am obnoxious to some, others don’t care for my “potty” mouth, but there is one thing you won’t mistake, and that is where I am coming from. I want to say that it is because I am older and wiser. But that’s not the case, because I’ve always been opinionated, but I feel it’s because I am not afraid and I love ME. I have no fear of being alone and I do not define myself by whether or not I have a man.

Ladies, may not like this but some women are filled with so much self-hate and self-loathing and have very little self-worth, that it is easier for them to denigrate other women who may actually be better than they are. They may be better looking, more educated, and maybe even more successful, and I think this can be where the hate comes in. I had a friend who told me that she had a lot of girlfriends in her life that was until she met a man who loves her and the girlfriends are jealous. As sad as it may sound, they delighted in her misery when she was being dogged out by one dude, but the minute she met a man who not only told her he loved her, but showed her, well, those “girlfriends” began to hate. I told her they weren’t her girlfriend’s, because real girlfriends want to see you happy and prospering rather than miserable and unaccomplished.

Women who know themselves and know who they are get what I am saying. But for those that don’t know and can’t quite understand, they are going to have to be honest with themselves. They are going to have to stop being afraid of being alone. Let’s keep it real, these same women that don’t get what I am saying are alone now, even as they “claim” a relationship, emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually they are alone AND lonely.

Oh and knowing oneself doesn’t mean they have to emasculate men and/or dumb down…knowing oneself is understanding the phrase DO YOU…and I swear ladies, once you get that, I mean really and truly get it…you will have a better understanding of you!

Saundra aka SassyScribe

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