The issues facing men and women are not as serious as ‘experts’ would like you to believe. But one thing that the ‘experts’ appear to be right about is the negative attitudes that some black women seem to have?
Maybe some of them have an attitude because they are buying into this notion of their not being any available and/or eligible men. Maybe their attitude stems from the belief that all of the good men are married and the rest are homosexual or incarcerated? Maybe some have an attitude as they see more and more black men dating/marrying outside of their race? Or maybe, just maybe some have an attitude because they take themselves far too seriously!
What I have noticed, especially when going to various events, be it a night club setting, private dinner party, or open air cultural events, is that some Black Women really do take themselves seriously. Too seriously!
I am the last one to buy into stereotypes or so-called statistical information, but recently I’ve come to the realization that what some are calling our negative attitude is true. The problem is that no one wants own it.
Is it really that hard to say hello? Is it really that hard to be courteous to the gentleman who sat beside you on the vacant seat at the bar? He doesn’t want to marry you! He doesn’t want to entertain you for the night! He just wanted to say hello. Maybe be spoke because men are visual and he found you physically attractive.
However, is it that bad if he spoke solely because he found you attractive? Is there something wrong with a man acknowledging his interest?
I am the first to praise women for doing things as a single person, but I have to also be mindful of the fact that the world is watching and when you have 6 out 10 black women showing negativity then we are all painted with the same brush.
You talk about wanting a good man. You talk about wanting an educated, courteous man to “spend your life with” and yet when one presents themselves to you, you shun him. You turn your nose up at him as if he is lacking or wanting. You, with your nose stuck so far up in the air because of your accomplishments that you should strive for as an adult, you have the nerve to want him to pat you on your back for.
Sometimes the problem isn’t the man ladies, sometimes the problem is YOU!
Saundra E. Harris aka SassyScribe