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Waiting To Exhale

The 1995 Box office hit “WAITING TO EXHALE” , told the story of four African American women, one married with an impending divorce, one a single mother, and two single women both struggling in relationships with lothario’s and married men. I watched that movie again this morning (3am) and it got me to thinking…How many women are still “waiting to exhale”?

How many of them are still waiting for “the one”…”the knight in shining armor”…their soul mate, the one person who really and truly loves, cherishes and understands them. That one person who can finish their sentence, make their heart race, that one person who would do anything for them…no questions asked.

I’ve seen this movie at least 100 times, but this time…it moved me to tears. Angela Bassett lying in Wesley Snipes arms saddened and pissed over her impending divorce. Loretta Divine crying to Gregory Hines over her son leaving to tour Europe and her admitting that he had been the man in her life and how unfair it was of her to burden him in that way. Only to have Gregory Hines tell her that she had been unfair of herself to believe that she wasn’t worthy of love or that she even needed love and that it was unfair of what she was doing to them…us. Even then you could see that she didn’t’ believe him, even when he said he “I love you” he had to say it three times for it to penetrate.

Whitney Houston’s mother forcing a married man on her because she was over 30 and alone and did not want her daughter to grow old and alone like her. Lela Rochon, a beautiful woman with little self esteem an self worth, following a man to another state, believing he would leave wife, and finally realizing that she was pregnant and being strong enough to tell him to disappear.

This movie resonated with me more now than it ever it has in the past. Maybe it was that I was too young and selfish to see myself in any of these women. Maybe I had blinders on for so long that it didn’t matter, because I was involved and I wasn’t one of them.

I cried for the love that I know that many women want to feel but unfortunately, most probably never will. I cried because when I hear statistics that 42.4% of African American women will never marry or that “Black women are the most uncoupled women on earth and most likely will never know or feel love or be in a committed relationship”…statements such as this tend to not lend hope to a “brighter future”. It tends to make one want to continue to hold their breath…waiting to exhale.

This movie chronicles the lives of many sisters today. Women have learned how to be self reliant, independent, and stronger than they should be. That at times is seen as a negative, as being too strong and not knowing how to submit, when in reality it’s a fear of committing. Too many of submitted to the wrong type of man, meaning they didn’t know the man’s character and was unaware of his integrity…they didn’t take the time to know him before they knew him.

In the end however, these women banded together with a love for one another, they found the meaning of love in their sisterhood. Whitney’s closing song “Count on me through thick and thin, a friendship I will never end, when you are weak I will be strong, helping you to carry on”…and then they exhaled.

I exhaled and wondered, with Valentine’s day two days away…how many women are still “waiting to exhale”?



Just showing love. Great blog, btw.
SassyScribe said…
Thanks for stopping by...don't be a stranger...


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