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Love, Lust, & Redemption

Saturday, September 29th I sat on a relationship panel at the Baltimore Book Festival, , it was called LOVE, LUST, & REDEMPTION, and myself, along with fellow authors Tariiq Omari Walton and Kenda Bell, discussed the current state of affairs between men and women.

I spoke on women and accountability, and how we are the gatekeepers to our hearts, minds, and body. I spoke on being responsible for your actions, and to command and demand respect, not just from men, but from everyone that you allow into the inner circle of your life. Tariiq spoke about Love vs Lust and how the to are different aspects of relationships...and Kenda touched on redemption...but all three of us agreed that the current state of affairs between men and women is sad.

Men and women truly want to get together and be companion's, lovers, and friends to one another, yet there seems to be so many barriers and stipulations hindering us from coming together.

A friend recently told me that they wouldn't want to be in my shoes for anything in the world. My shoes are that of a 40yo single woman, and that they thank God that they found someone and are not not alone, because "Sassy, I don't know how you do it...but I need me a man in my life" WOW! I'd like to have one too, but I can't stop living my life because I don't have many women feel this way, especially ones in relationships. Even the bad relationships folks stay in because its better than being alone...messed up way of looking at it, but we all know folks that aren't happy with someone but even more unhappy without...

Another male friend of mine said that the current state of affairs between men and women is phucked up! People just don't know how many women out here are frustrated and disgruntled over the state of relations between the sexes. Its sad really when you think of it...he acutally stated that he hears alot about the so called "good women" and in his mind he feels that all educated, financially secure, single women have one thing in common and that is that they are ugly or they are fat and ugly. He said, "let's face it...there are not alot of dimes out here with PhD's..and the ones that are, are taken." He feels that if a woman, regardless of age truly wants to have a man in her life, she has to work on herself physically, because all of the mental is bullshyt. When it comes down to it, men are visual...they don't really see how much money you are making or how many degrees you have, they go for the physical first, all the other is extra. He said he'd take a good looking, fine dime dummy before he took an ugly/fat or a combination of the two any day...hey, its his opinion, but it explains to me why he rolls over women so much, because as good as they look or may appear eventually they won't my boy told me...LaFunda will get the strongest man caught up...but it won't last because eventually all of the good P pales...

We have women as young as 25 who just don't want to deal with the bullshyt anymore...we have men and women that just don't know what it is they need emotionally, what it is they want emotionally, how they feel truly emotionally and physically, and where they are in life spiritually.

People we need to create a better forum for dialogue between the sexes, but how do we bring this about without the women seeing the men as women haters and the men seeing the women as male bashers? What is it that you think we can do to affect a change in the current state of relations between the sexes?



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