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Toxic Relationships

A reader asked me my thoughts on a toxic relationship...they asked not to post their letter, but to give my thoughts and to ask my readers what they think a toxic relationship is...

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DO NOT MAKE SOMEONE A PRIORITY IN YOU ARE LIFE, WHEN ALL YOU ARE IS AN OPTION TO THEM…

This is at the base of a toxic relationship or toxic love…no longer is it healthy for you when your every waking thought is about someone that has no thoughts of you. I’m not talking about basic thoughts of safety, I feel we all have that for those in our circle, but thoughts of your happiness, daily wellbeing, future hopes, dreams, a person that believes in you wholeheartedly…so that you know without a doubt---they got you!

Its toxic when you know that that person isn’t feeling you and you feel that disconnect from you on all levels---mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I’m not talking of a love from friend to friend for a friend to me is a buddy, a hanging partner, not a lover… I’m talking about friend TO friend, a best friend and lover…

Sassy is not immune to this, hence my motto that I adopted a while ago…but I tend to find that this happens mostly to women, where we prioritize our lives around someone that is not deserving of it.

I remember a friend saying that her relationship was no longer good for her soul…it made me think…hmmmm, that’s a deep statement, her soul…

On another message board folks were talking about how and why they are single and the underlying premise of all of their reasons is that at one point in their lives they were in a toxic relationship…

They can dress it up and say “they need to be single to learn themselves” but the bottom line was, at some point the relationship turned toxic and the only way to “get to know yourself” was to release yourself from that situation. Some are forced out i.e. dumped, while others step out i.e. cheat, and others just lunch out i.e. drugs/alcohol…Some say that their life may be moving in a different direction, while others just say, hey this has run its course…either way…toxicity made its way into a once happy and fulfilling situation.

Some may or may not agree…some may have different ideas as to what a constitutes a toxic relationship, that matters not to me IMO and I am a firm believer in that you never make someone a priority when all you are is an option to them.

SassyScribe

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