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The Lost Art of Courting

Does relationship courting still exist beyond the dinner & then the hotel?

In the realm of dating the art of courting, appears to be a lost art. Gone are the days where a man picked you up at your house. Gone are the days where you sat on the porch and listened to the “record player”. Gone are the days, where the man asked your father and/or guardian if he could pursue his interest in you. The gentlemanly courtships of yesterday are gone.

The first time I heard the word courting, I was sixteen, when my grandmother or Mumma as we called her asked me if I was courting. When I furled my brow she changed it to “going steady”. She was the first person to explain to me the artful skill of a man that goes a courting with a woman.

To court a person is an attempt to allure and/or obtain a more formal relationship. In the olden days, the woman you courted, you married. Handholding was a form of intimacy that implied a promise. Today, one or the other gender often scorns hand holding, snuggling, and public displays of affection.

Courting involves a man opening up the door for you. Helping you with your coat or wrap. Assisting you with a hand as he opens up the car door for you. He formally seeks the acquiescence of your loved ones to date you. During the courtship he will ensure that no harm, within his power will come to you. A gentleman courting will bring you flowers and candy. A woman courting offers to cook for him on occasion and will let him kiss her chastely on the cheek. She holds herself as a true lady until he drops to his knees and asks for her hand.

When was the last time you witnessed a man open up a door for his woman? Pull out her chair? Help her take off/put on her coat? Nowadays, in the world of independent women, some of them don’t allow themselves to be courted. They rush to open the door to a building. They rush to open their own car door. They hurry to sit in their seats while shrugging out of their coats. Whereas back in the day, a woman waited to have the door opened, she waited to have him pull her chair out. It was {and for me, still is} expected for him to open up all doors, pull out all chairs, and help me with my coat.

During dinner, does he ask you what it is you want, and then when the waiter comes, order for you? At the end of the meal, it is offensive for you to suggest paying anything, as he is courting you. He is the man and its his honor and responsibility to act as such. It’s charming, chivalrous and down right sexy to have a man order for you. Its all a part of courting…it’s an integral piece of dating, and your relationship that is slowly but surely leaving us.

However, for some, the relationship aspect of courting doesn’t exist beyond dinner, a movie, and if your lucky a hotel, for a quick hit. For some it’s the by-the-hourly rate motels on Route 1??? It’s a cheap dinner at a chain restaurant, like Chevy’s or Chili’s, where the meal is split. Are women still feeling obligated to lay with a man for a $50 meal? Its as if there is an urgency to bed the person so that he won’t loose interest. If that is the case, he was never interested in courting you to begin with. His goal was sex.

When did my gender loose their self-respect? When did my gender, no longer care about compromising their morals and principles? Why is it that women don’t demand to be courted?

Instead of everyone trying to bring sexy back…lets bring courting back…



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