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Why Are You Single...???

Ladies have you ever sat down and examined why it is that you are still single? Have you gone over in your mind all of the bad relationships that you have been in and stayed in and after you left you wondered why?

Personally, after I put myself in a relationship with a man that didn't know he was in a relationship, I knew I had some issues I had to deal with. The man was telling me repeatedly that he didn't want a relationship, however, his actions belied his words. I misconstrued his constant phone calls and wanting me to be near me as us having a relationship...when in fact we were just "kicking it" as he said. So with my feelings hurt, I wanted to lash out at him, but I had to check myself and note that I didn't listen to what he was saying. While I cut myself off from other men, he didn't cut himself off to other women. I had to learn to listen, and respect that man for telling me the truth even if I didn't want to hear it. I had to look in the mirror and correct my character flaws before allowing someone else in my life.

I know that I am single because that is what I had to be for a while. I had to learn my personal taste in life...not just men. I had to teach myself how to read through the megahaze of supercalifrgilistic BS that men speak to the words that they are not saying. Sounds confusing, but it isn't...see there are alot of single men out here stuck in the same quagmire as women, but they won't admit it. I had to learn discernment when not just dealing with men, but with people in general. Ladies, men too want an honest, independent, self loving, selfless, giving, motivated, educated, beautiful person to share their lives with. The thing is, that some men aren't as focused on that as women seem to be.

In a conversation with another friend, he said that women are hungry to have a man for a few hours so they compromise themselves and give of their bodies...not knowing that nothing is going to stem off the ache of lonliness I consulted a couple of friends and we came up with a list of questions for people to answer in reference to their singleness...

1. Why did you join an online singles forum such as MingleCity?
2. Are you happy being single?
3. Have you learned yourself since being single?
4. What improvements do you feel you need to make on your own character?
5. Are you really single because he/she messed up, or did you drive him/her away?
6. If you knew the type of person they were prior to him being your man/woman, did you then try to change him/her after he/she became your man/woman?
7. If you are really a '7', why do you think you are a '10'?
8. While you are single, are you truly preparing yourself for marriage or are you just doing you?
9. Do you use the word "date" as a reason to sleep with people, or are you truly attempting to get to know a person?
If its the latter, stop waving your body around and try to entertain a man with you wit & charm instead of aquainting your body to his...
10. Do you really know what "LOVE" is, or is it really "LUST", but you use love to describe it?
11. Do you/have you gotten into relationships (including past unions) based on your emotions or did you take the time to evaluate the character of the person?
12. Are you in a relationship with a person that you know you are not "equally yoked" with?

I ask these questions because I feel that sometimes, we as women continue to jump from one bad situation to another, rather than work on our own problems and issues with self. We have to learn to love ourselves more, understand ourselves, know what it is you want in a person...not just what you want in a man, but also in your female relationships.

I will be following this blog with a show on Thursday, August 2, 2007 @9pm EST on I already have some women lined up for the show to explain their answers...but all are welcome to join in the discussion---646.716.7414.



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