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What Black Men Think About Black Women?

Everywhere I turn or look on the internet I see threads about black men disparaging and slandering black women. Is it me...I am wondering, "Why do they despise us so much?" Do black men truly despise and loathe the black woman? Is it a select few or is it a pervasive attitude throughout?

In a conversation with a friend, he easily rolled out ten character traits of black women, his discription/definition as to what he perceives them and why black men are more accepting of dating women of other races. He stated that gone are the days of the "good black woman", the likes of Betty Shabbazz and Coretta Scott King, where they uplifted their men and allowed them to be men . "In the good ole days black women would submit to the man as the head of household."

He said that the traits I am about to list equals "the average sistergirl in the city" ATTITUDE!

1. Unsupportive - show extreme respect for their men; allowing the man to do what he does to elevate you both to the next level
2. Shallow - read a book or have a decent conversation
3. Manipulative - stop thinking that you still have power in your "P"...bring something else to the table other than your @$$
4. Condescending - don't bring baggage from past relationships and put it on the next man
5. Self-Serving - goes back to manipulation
6. Dramatic - drama is for punks and boring people; their only purpose is to entertain themselves by creating drama, confusion, and conflict - you are weak
7. Lazy - like a thief; low expectation, blood suckers...I liken this to stealing or begging; doing nothing in society, but causing problems
8. Deceiptful - Hater101 - they hate themselves so much that they hate on the next man
9. Argumentative - a dumb @$$  wanting to be smart; a wrong invidivual needing to be right; intelligence is the ability to make complex ideas simple.
10. Unfriendly - a mad person can mess your mood up; if you don't like your life just end it

He went on to say, that one of the main attractions of a white woman, is that they are happier; whereas sisters are walking around with chips on their shoulders. I stated that white women are automatically perceived as weaker than black women. It is shown to us daily through local and national media, when a white women disappears all of the stops are pulled out to find her, but when a black woman disappears you get a ten second blurb, then its on to the next topic. Never to hear of it again. It is the same attitude in corporate America, where a white woman is delicate and can't handle various pressures and stress, and yet a black woman of the same status is supposed to "grin and bear it".

As he continued to talk I thought, Is this how he sees me or is this certain black women? He stated that it is an attitude that you can spot immediately in some women. Some women have all of the negative character traits, while others only have a few, or one or two. Overall, they aren't attractive and in order to attract the type of man that they think they want, they need to remove the negativity from their system. That much negativity is draining and like a leach sucks the life blood from you, leaving you exhausted after talking /dealing with that type of personality.

The words rolled off of his tongue, and out of his mouth so easily that I was shocked and amazed. I couldn't help but take it personally. To be honest, as a black woman, it hurt me to my heart to hear him say that- I felt the disdain coming from him, and I was like "damn, its like that". The reason that it hurt so much, is because at one point in MY life I personified those same traits...But fortunately for me, I recognized how unhappy I was, and took the necessary steps to correct that. Looking back, I didn't love the person that I was, and liked her even less...were it not for self reflecting on the wrong things I realized within myself and set about to effectively changing them, there would've been no SASSY now.

I need the help of men and also I am interested in what sisters think and feel about this gentleman's statements? Are we what this one person stated? Do Black Men truly despise Black Women...? Sassy wants to know...



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