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Are the negative characteristics that some associate as just "how black women are", attributed and/or associated with the lack of a positive male role

In a conversation with a friend last evening, we got on the topic of my next show...(What Do Black Men Think of Black Women", 7-27-07, @ 9pm, call in 646.716.7414) and inevitably I thought of another topic.

He stated that the problem with black women is the lack of a positive male role model in their lives currently and/or in their past. He said that because the black man has neglected his duties regarding parenthood and because some men would rather run game on women, that the women have developed these so called negative characteristics that seem to be indicative of black women.

He doesn't agree that this is the reason why brothers date women of other races...he does however, believe that this is the reason why black women can appear mean and negative to some...and vulnerable and easy to others.

It got me to thinking about his statement, and having grown up with my father, and having a come from a loving background whose parents are still married to this day, it never occured to me that this could be a reason why some sisters harbor some resentment towards men. Is this the reason why sisters are alone? Is it because they lacked the proper male role models that they constantly end up in negative situations?

I have to ask are they subsconciously finding men that have the same unsavory characteristics of the men that weren't in their life? Are the men that they choose seen in the light of more of a father figure---one that can give guidance, as opposed one that is loving and nurturing and willing to be in a positive committed relationship?

Personally, I seek men like my father, protective, strong, responsible, intelligent, committed, and loving, to wit these are characteristics my brother embodies...not to mention the countless uncles and cousins that I have that shows me that men are caring, responsible, and loving. I understand that if one wishes to marry and/or be in a positive committed relationship, we are going to have to compromise (nee submit) to achieve that. For some sisters the word "submit" means a total lack of non-thought on their part, which is wrong, to submit to your man, IMO is the understanding that you love and support him to do that which will enhance your lives together. You understand his goals and are totally supportive of his endeavors. That doesn't mean that you support illegal or unmoralistic activities, but it does mean you have to be supportive and doesn't mean a woman has to totally compromise all of her values, but she understands that compromise is key to ALL successful relationships...

So are the negative characteristics that some associate as just "how black women are", attributed and/or associated with the lack of a positive male role model in their lives? Are women choosing men like their daddies be it good, bad or indifferent?

I'm interested in your thoughts...



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