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Rules of Thumb...

As I go through my emails daily, I am amazed at the number of women that are not following couple of basic rules of thumb. They write wondering what it is they are doing wrong, and as a woman that used to make the same mistakes and used to have the same drama, problems, and issues, we live and learn to obey the unwritten or is it written rules???? Maybe its the rules that our mothers taught us early in life that we failed to listen to...but its simple and basic. DO NOT SLEEP WITH A MAN BEFORE GETTING TO KNOW HIM. Do not expect him to give you more because you slept with him. I have written about this a thousand times it seems and its still not sinking in....yes SEX is great, and wonderful, but sometimes SEX alone is not enough. When will we [men and women] wake up to that fact...?!?!?!?

Women want to know where it is they went wrong with a man, well honestly, it could've started in a number of ways, but the problem lay in that you [nee women] well some women, fail to delve below the surface of the man and are okay with just knowing what is on the top layer and not digging deeper to the lower layers. People [IMO], are like the surface of the earth...there are so many layers to them, that if you really want to get to know them, then you need to learn the various levels of that person. What are their likes, dislikes, strengths, weaknesses, are they ethical and moral. Are they caring and compassionate to others...how does he treat his mother and other women in their life. If a man isn't treating his mother, I mean the woman that gave him life in an honorable fashion what makes you think he will treat you any differently. This is just my opinion, but a man that is good to his mother, sisters, aunts, female cousins, grandmothers, etc, will be good to you. He is a caring man and understands [somewhat] about women. A man that curses his mother and calls his sister a bytch will eventually curse you and call you the same.

Another factor that I feel women do not do, and I think there is a book entitled "If You Want Closure In Your Relationship...Start With Your Legs"...when you don't know where the relationship may be headed? If he is giving you signs and telling you that you are not the one and that he is still dating...then you need to reassess your situation, because at this point it is not a relationship, rather it is a situation that you have gotten yourself into. So just stop sleeping with him...I didn't say cut off communication, you can still be friends, I said, stop all acts or forms of intimacy, because the problem here is that you have caught feelings for a man that hasn't caught any feelings for you. Well he likes the feel of your gooshiness wrapped around him, but that is about it...think about it like this...what are you getting out of this situation other than a wet azz or a mouth full of gism? EXACTLY...not a pretty picture is it? Yet and still we as women continue on the road to distruction and at times I feel that some of us haven't learned any lessons at all.

Each relationship that we enter and are released from, whether voluntarily or involuntarily, should teach us something. You may learn how not to be treated. You may learn how much you enjoy doing something nice for someone else. Or maybe you might even learn more about you, as others at times have the ability to show us whom we are from what we have shown them through our actions and reactions.

Though these rules may sound pat and trite, if you think about, they are true. If women were to sit back and think about the men that they have stopped sleeping with, they may find a pattern, that he called more when you were sexing him...he may have taken you out more when you were sexing him and now that you are not, the calls and request for your company have stopped. That should show you that all he wanted from you was S E X.

These rules are not hard to follow...try them and you may find out whether or not that person is in your life for the right reasons or not.

SassyScribe

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