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Let's Talk About S E X...

Do you think sex can confuse situations? What connotations and/or stipulations do you place [if any] on an individual once you have had sex with them?

Are you the type to say that you only want sex occassionally with that person, then try and turn it into a daily event. Do you question whom they are with and where they have been when you cannot contact/locate them? Are you suspicious of their behavior when you're not around?

If you call someone and they don't call you back in 2.2 seconds do you get upset? Is it because you had sex with that person and now you have attached invisible strings? I often wonder why it is that people are cool with a man or woman for a minute and then they add the element of sex and one or both of them loose their minds. Its like sex turns them into a stalker!

Why is it that sex is so complicated and confusing? I know people, mainly men that are predisposed to having multiple sex partners with no thought of any affection at all. I know of a couple of men who have bragged about their sexual excapades and prowess with alot of women. They wear and carry that like a badge of honor, but in essence the only feeling they put into those women was a burning desire, or is it a need to feel her yum yum gooshiness. They want to learn you inside out, literally. And from their stories they were pretty successful, and now the women have turned into something that the men don't like...clignons! One of the men has changed all of his phone numbers three times in the last year...that is some of the craziness that sex can bring into a situation.

On the flip side, women have needs also...there is the Maintenance Man who is that brother that just straight breaks you down with his loving. He is usually well and truly placed in a box for most women. They know that he isn't theirs, will most probably never be, and therefore, they aren't as upset when they don't speak and/or hear from him for days or weeks. There is no drama or expectations just because they may have had sex.

However, for some other woman, it seems like there needs can be tied to a feeling. Whether or not they like you, means whether or not you will get any. Once that happens, it is often a downward spiral of questions, foxing you out, blowing up your phones, constant emails, and text messages. Its like once they have the sex, then they feel a connection to you that they shouldn't. I know that for some of us, women, we can have sex with no thought and/or feeling other than wanting to have a need met, ergo the Maintenance Man. Often you may find that men, say they like this type of woman, but in actuality they don't. They might have a tendency to believe that because she knocked him without a thought that she exhibits this behavior often and with many. When in fact, you caught her at a moment of horniness and maybe, just maybe, you were the closet dyck on hand. Think about that concept for a minute!

But that doesn't explain why sex confuses a situation. A friend explained it to me, that if you are not having sex with a person, then the times that they do not talk to you, or the times when you call & they don't call back immediately the feelings of not being wanted and/or thought of are diminished. Whereas were you to have sex with that person, then they want to know how come you didn't answer the phone, were you with someone else, are you seeing another person, etc., etc., etc.,. He said, that a woman is more likely than a man to start tripping once they have sex and if it is a man that trips once they have sex then he is a punk. He stated that unless there is an expressed consent between the two individuals that state if/when we have sex that this is now an exclusive relationship, then and only then can you expect to have the drama that goes with that. But if there is no expressed intent, you need to get in the game, know your role and play your position or keep it moving. He stated that he is at a point in his life where sex isn't as important to him as it used to be, that is based solely on the fact that he doesn't want to deal with the drama he feels that women place on sex. I stated that he feels that way because he hasn't met the right woman, he said no, he feels that way, because he knows women. LOL...that was too funny, but I let it go.

Do you feel that sex confuses a situation? Do you feel it places unwanted and/or unwarranted connotations on people?

I look forward to hearing your response.

SassyScribe

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