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The Non Existent Prince

Black Women, I have to ask...are you still waiting for your Black Prince? That Knight in Shining Armour on a White Stallion coming to sweep you off your feet and take away all of your fears, troubles, woes, and misery? Are you hoping that his lips soothe your soul? That his arms will ease your pain? That his words will tell you he is going to "make everything all right"? AS romantic and idealic as that sounds...snap back to reality because its not gonna happen.

There are gentlemen out there that are willing to grow and build with someone, but he is in no means trying to carry the entire burden and/or load of the relationship. He himself is looking for a woman that is going to be drama free, that will be caring, and nuturing. She will have a great sense of humor, a positive outlook on life, a kind heart and a sincere spirit. Having said that it makes me wonder, why is it that my gender feels as though they are owed something just because they are women. Don't get me wrong, I think WE (women) are Queen's and should be loved, respected, and treated as such, but with that, WOMEN must love and respect themselves first. They should carry themselves in such a manner that a man, a true, kind, good man, a KING will recognize her as such, and then they can let nature take its course.

But of course there are a some of us, nee women, who are still living in la-la land waiting for that prince to come. We all know women like that...so I was on the phone with a friend this morning and we were talking about the male/female relationship and how we think differently. During our conversation he said this:

"The problem with Black women is that you all are waiting for this Knight in shining armour to come and sweep them off their feet! That is not going to happen!"
He said that he knew that he was making a general statement, but he said that he hasn't met alot of sincere, and honest Black women that do and/or say things from their heart (present company excluded of course ...LOL). He feels that almost all of us are looking for something unobtainable. His premise is that you can never get something for nothing, there is always a price that one will have to pay, either on the front end or the back end, but pay the price you will.
Now as a woman, I got a little upset, at his general statement, because I don't feel as though I am sitting around waiting for the Black Prince to come and sweep me off my feet. I am a romantic, but hell, lets be realistic about the situation....that prince is non existent.
The reason for his statement is that he feels that WE (Black Women) are looking for the "perfect man"...he has to wine us, dine us, or spend copious amounts of money on getting our hair & nails done, buying expensive perfume and designer clothing, etc...for some women there never seems to be enough that a man can give them. I had to interject at that statement, because I have never in my 40 years had a man do any of the above for me. I don't ask men for money, I don't throw out the hints that most women do to get money, I just feel that hair, nails, clothes, are a womans duty for basic maintenance and upkeep. Sorry women, but that is how I feel. Trust me if a man was to offer to get my hair or nails done, or to take me shopping, I'd have to ask why? Is it coming from the heart? Or will I be expected to perform a duty of some sort to show my "appreciation" for his kindness...
Hell, I know a woman that won't even deal with men unless they are buying things. She sees nothing wrong with it, but in a sense isn't she prostituting herself? Its just a thought...I told her all of that money and the clothes come with a price...will she be willing to pay it?
Some may think that I am lying when I say that, but having N E V E R been wined or dined, treated to a shopping spree, given copious amounts of money to do things with, given expensive perfume, or jewelry, why would I not question why I am the recipient of this now....????
In addition to this, this gentlemen has repeatedly stated to me and as he has informed me he has asked this of other women as well..."What are you bringing to the table besides some puzzy?" Hmmm, it does make you think doesn't it...other than a rack of kids by numerous men, other than bad credit, other than a mountain of debt, what are YOU bringing to the table. See that prince is going to want to more...than just making your azz wet!
A Man is going to need more eventually...
I'd love to hear your thoughts on this...
SassyScribe

Comments

Anonymous said…
it is always refreshing to hear honest talk on the subject of relationships. People really don't pay attention or listen to their significant other. When ever you here you complete me. that is a statement of caution. people need to come into a relationship whole and healed from past hurts. when you make a statement like that you put undue pressure on your significant to consistantly complete you. that puts an uneven scale in the relationship. be happy with who you are the good and the bad. when you get to that point and allow the Lord to lead you in all areas of your life. be happy finding out what the Lord has planned for you not what you want. that was a life lesson from a male perspective. keep the faith and continue to be the voice in a world content to be in the dark.

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