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Wasted Time

How long does a person need to know whether or not you are going to fit into their life? Their future?

Maybe its the extremest in me...I wasted 15 years of my life with a man that I knew with every fiber of my being that he wasn't responsible enough for me to marry or have children with. Don't get me wrong, I loved him, oh how I loved that man, through his lack of employment, his habit forming vices, his carelessness for preparing for his/our future...but I was a mere child of 17 when we got together, and I was 32 when I left. That was my entire youth gone! Time gone!!!
My eyes eventually opened and my mind said "its time to go". I know now that I stayed because I knew he wasn't responsible and that he would not take care of himself without me. I knew that he needed money for food, clothes, rent, water, etc...

Its been 6 years since I left him and I absolutely refuse to waste my time on anyone anymore. Sure, we can go out to the movies, dinner, dancing, and drinks...but thats about it. Sorry. Its nothing at all to do with the man, its all to do with me. At one point in my life I was a dating Maven with a rotation list that had my married friends envious of me. I don't know why, everyone talked the same shyt...hell it taught me to "play the game". The game of duplicitiy and pat lines. The game of talking shyt and telling men what they want to hear. I laugh about it now, but it was absolutely regadamndiculous (got that word from a friend of mine) the stuff I said. But hindsight being 20/2o I was enjoying dating and the life of a single person. Then that too got old, and tired. I put a stop that early in '06. I have friends, but alas, I'm just not making the effort that I used to...and truth be told neither are they. Everyone (men/women) are used to being sweated and chased, and its like a huge phucking game to everyone. Maybe its the fact that women outnumber men 10:1???? Men can have their pick of whomever...but they say that a quality woman is hard to find...Who knows...maybe folks are tired of being alone so they latch on to a person, knowing that there is nothing to be gained...well not entirely nothing, you might get your belly full and a wet azz but other than that what to do get. Can't you feed and phuck yourself?

Oh well...why waste your time when you know you can't get it back?

SassyScribe

Comments

Anonymous said…
Hey Sassy,
I think we ALL have wasted precious time on someone in each of our lives. I don't know if I could have pulled out a fifteen year stint like yourself. Wow, that lasted longer than a lot a Marriages these days! LOL I hope he at least left you with a "hockable" ring!...Basically, it is all up to US in what we are willing to put up with. I courted my wife for five months before we were Married. We are still going strong many years later. I had been in some long relationships earlier in my life also. Now I consider long as one to two years max! I just decided to use some of the old advice that my grandparents used to give me this time around. I was so used to just dating that I forgot the long gone art of courting a Sistah....We know within a matter of months whether we want to spend the rest of our lives with someone. I think some of us just choose to be stuck unfortunately at our own peril. Life is way too short for me to let too many people waste my time.

Peace & Love,
brutbrut
SassyScribe said…
Well, like I said, we were together right out of high school, so he was the only man that I knew...until I found the world! And the world is full of men...thank God, it is full of men, and I love M E N!

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