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Torn Between Friends

Have you ever been torn between one of more individuals? Is it truly possible to love more than one person at the same time...?

I have a friend that is currently torn between three men...all of the men are successful in their respective careers, and they have great personalities and are terrific fathers.

Her dilimma is that the first man, she knows deep within in her heart that he will never give her the relationship nor the love that she wants from him. At times he can be cynical when it comes to women, and gives the belief that so long as a woman is sexing him, whomever else she is with isn't an issue for him. Also believes in threesomes..etc..BTW, they talk daily...

The second man she's known a little over four years and is considerate, funny, and successful, but she says for some reason he continues to hold himself back from her. Oh yeah, they talk everyday...

The third man she met in April of this year. He too is great, a fantastic, kind, considerate lover, and a loving and caring father. He has shown her his compassion and his vulnerability and isn't afraid to love and open himself up to being and receiving love. He has been open and honest about his feelings for her and also that he has feelings for a former friend...

She feels confused...the latter two are (IMO) perfect men, but she is mindful and fearful that if they are unsure of her, maybe she is unsure of them. Or is it that she is unsure of herself? She asked me should she continue to confuse her life with these men that aren't quite sure of her? Should she move on and start over with a fresh man completely? Eventually, she does wish to settle down...but she cannot have children...

I don't know what she should do, I mean as women get older, it gets tougher for them to find love and marriage. A man can always date/marry a younger woman, but its not the same for women.

I need your help on this one folks...Sassy is at her own crossroads in this issue....

SassyScribe

Comments

Anonymous said…
Wow Sass,
This is a tough one to say the least! You basically have a dating situation here. I don't forsee a serious relationship with any of these three men. Most men will pretty much tell you exactly what we want and then let you decide on what you want to deal with! This seems to be a situation of (settling/dealing)in my opinion. All three angles seem to be working out fine for all the men and not the woman. In other words, they are getting exactly what they want out of the friendship/relationship but the woman is torn between pleasing them or making herself available to receive her DESTINY! I have found it very difficult for a good man to find a good woman when she is emotionaly/sexually tied in some way to another man/men. I can bet my last dime that this situation will remain in tact for as long as you allow it to be, even if some of them were to Marry someone else! Let this Sistah close her legs and see what the real outcome will be. These so called great men will move on to the next whomever!....In my closing, there are plenty of brotha's out there that do not have a desire to have children of their own or any more children. We pretty much have all types, shades and heights that are looking to be with just (YOU)!___That age thing is hyped up more than it should be a lot of times too! OUR Woman look great in their 40's+. They always have and they always will! Remember, "black don't crack!" It's all about how you carry it. I have seen too many good Sistah's grow old alone because they are addicted to "no good, self absorbed, non-committed brotha's!"...that are "GREAT FATHERS" that is! Well what about being "GREAT" to this SISTAH!?!?

Peace & Love,
brutbrut
SassyScribe said…
BrutBrut...

Thanks for the comments. As I stated I have had a quandry like this in my past, and it wasn't handled properly. But hindsight being 20/20, I will NEVER make that mistake again, and I basically advised her to do as you stated...close the shop and see what happens.

She did say she has since done that, and although they say they understand, she says they aren't calling her like they used to. So she has her answer...

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