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The Other Woman

Half a man is better than no man at all...this is what I thought of as I listend to the Bad Boy on the radio yesterday.

As I listened to these women talk about how much that man loved them, and how he was willing to take care of them and give them money, I thought damn! Are we that hard up for a man, that we take someone elses? What goes wrong in a relationship, hell for that matter, what goes on in a woman's life that makes you step out of that boundary and into another realm. The arms of another? The mind of another? The heart of another?

Women have allowed for so many bad behaviors, the late night phone calls, the "lets eat dinner at my house" all the damn time, the never meeting his friends, or family, habits and behaviors such as this that have perpetuated the deplorable and degrading actions of men to women. It seems to me that folks are getting married with this notion that it won't last, hell, I know folks that get married with a side piece . What in the piss type of mind set is that?!?!?! Do folks really want to get married and grow old with the one they love or do they just NOT want to grow old alone? Or maybe, just maybe all people want to do is fuck...have sex...anything but make love...

As I thought about it, BB (Bad Boy) stated that if women respected themselves and other women, then this wouldn't happen. That men wouldn't be able to cheat so easily or often. I don't agree, because people only do what you allow them to do. I disagree with women respecting themselves to a point. I think that the husband should respect the wife first, AND then women need to respect that wife. Now I have friends that don't feel the same way. They think fuck the wife. If he doesn't care about her feelings, why should I? I say you should because of karma, because what goes around will always come back around. It may not happen today, tomorrow, or even next year, but it will happen, and when you least expect it.

While most of the women on the show were knowingly "the side piece", sometimes women don't have a clue. I have never made it a point to knowingly go after married men. Hell, I go on the assumption that most men are married or involved at the least. If your not involved then there is someone(s) that is(are) "servicing" you.

The more I sit and think about this subject, the more I wonder. Is it a societial pressure on women to have a man? As we all grow older, with no real prospects of a life partner, are we willing to accept anything, just so that we can say we have "everything"? That everything being a man? Why are we so desparte for a partner that we are willing to take someone elses? These are questions women need to ask themselves.

There are more than enough men out there, the problem is that we continue to refer to our laundry list of "must haves" "gotta haves" "he needs to" instead of saying, you know what, if he can make me laugh, engage me in some meaningful conversation, and has a decent moral fiber, then maybe he is the man for me. But we don't, and because we don't we are constantly throwing ourselves at men that don't want us or are only with us for the moment until their right one comes along. Before long, your 50, and still alone, because you chased after that married/involved man, believing he was gonna leave home to come to you. Why is it that you don't tell yourself or believe that if he cheats with you, he will cheat on you? That is pretty simple, isn't it??? Maybe for some...but knowing women as I do, they don't answer that question honestly, because half a man is better than no man at all...isn't it?



Anonymous said…
Hey SassyScribe,
I was told by my "sidepiece" from many years past in my first marriage that she was attracted to me because she saw how I took care of my wife. Another determining factor for her to persue me was because "I had way more to lose than she did"! and she was ABSOLUTELY CORRECT!! I lost EVERYTHING and then some! And to think that I was just that stupid enough to listen to her tell me that mess to my face and not even have enough since to leave her alone until it was way to late!___ All I was thinking about when she said it was if she was going to "swallow me whole" like the last time because my wife wouldn't! She could have pretty much said that she was going to blow up my car, stab me with a dull fork in the chest, pluck my eyes out or burn my house down to the ground while she was giving me the best oral pleasure of my ENTIRE FRICKEN LIFE and I probably would have still said the Eddie Murphy "Raw" line on her and said "Oh-Kayyyee"! She told me at the begining that she wasn't with anybody and I couldn't see why at the time. She was a little thick but hey that's my type and she obviously knew that by looking at my wife. She had bedroom skills that would demand top dollar in Vegas! This Sistah took me places that I have never even thought about ever. I mean I have really broken some stuff off in a few Sistah's before back in the day but nothing like this! So yeah you can pretty much say that she turned this brotha out!! LOL It was like the more she did for me, the more I was willing to sacrifice for her. It was crazy man now that I sit back and think about some of the hot, steamy, off the meter sessions that we had! Some of that stuff had to be illegal in at least twenty States! =) It was crazy Sassy I'm telling you! =) whewww__Anyway, I have found that there are certain females that are attracted to "attached" males for a whole lot of reasons. I would never ever consider that (double life) again in my second marriage. The "freak high" of a "sidepiece" is all good for a short time period which in my case was a few years, but like any other "narcotic" as Ike Turner would say =))__yes I love black movies as you can see!__you have to come down off of whatever you are on at some point in time. It's at that time that you realize that you have just thrown everything down the toilet and for what?!?!?! For quick series of hits to go to the fantasy land that we all have hidden inside?!? Who knows. I advise all of my Brotha's and Sistah's out there to re-evaluate yourselves if you are caught up in this type of mess! I know that there is nothing like a man getting some attention from different woman, especially if he is not getting it on a regular basis at home. What makes a relationship really special is how you handle attention from anyone other than your significant other. One of the main problems in my opinion is that woman know that it doesn't take much especially if they can catch our eye in some type of way. I guess the bottom line for all of us it to think really long and hard before we commit to somebody. Infidelity doesn't just ruin your life, but it ruins family's, friendships and communities as well. Like you said Sassy, there is enough men for every woman to have there own. What goes around will ALWAYS come around trust me, so go and take your significant other to some freak classes or something! I heard they have some private tutors that will come to your house now and teach you both a few tricks to spice up your stuff. Do whatever you got to do to make your relationship work at (all cost) because Creepin' will cost you (everything)! Please, please take some advice from a brotha' that has already experienced this up close and personal.

Peace & Love,
SassyScribe said…

Thanks for providing insight to this topic from a male point of view...

Soulchild74 said…
It's a matter of convenience as well. A nurse was messing around with a married man. At the very beginning she told this man, a co-worker that she only wanted his company and sex when he had time. She didn't want to be his wife and she doesn't want children. Break her off a little something and she is cool.

How about the man got caught by his wife, she divorced him and took everything, and sued her. The outcome was he needed a place to stay and moved in with her. She took him in out of guilt. He now wants to marry her. The wife won the suit against her and now she is taking care of a man who is taking care of his ex-wife and kids.

The chick is in therapy and she used to be a dime. Sista is now a quarter from the psych drugs, therapy sessions for her depression, and excessive eating. Everyone shakes their head at her and she feels horrible about herself.

In the end, was it worth it? To hear her say it, "Hell to the naw!!!" Other women messing with married men dumped them and quick. Learn a lesson, get that man with potential who is single with no attachments. No one is born with money but everyone is capable of making it and a life for themselves.
Anonymous said…
CONVENIENCE is definitely a major factor especially if are getting very little or NOTHING at home. I call it the "Married Housemate Syndrome" that is very real in todays society. You both love each other very much BUT....

Most Brotha's want it (all the time) and they know that their significant other is not always willing, even to the point where we get tired of asking. It can be a rather frustrating chain of events. Let's just face the fact that most women's sex drive is not like ours. Especially when LIFE happens to get in the way ie: careers, KIDS, BILLS, home duties, extra carricular activities, etc. Let's be real here and deal with the fact that some of the things that I listed about are some definite BLOCKERS when it comes to having a healthy intimate sex life with your significant other. These are also major factors that you do not have to deal with in your courting stage. All you know is that you are both into each other and the love making is out of this world until a few years after Marriage and then.....LIFE STARTS TO HAPPEN for real.

Peace & Love,
SassyScribe said…
SoulChild...thanks for showing me love...and for sharing...

Much love...

Soulchild74 said…
You know how I do it. I love sharing my opinion. LOL!!

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