Yesterday, the Bad Boy of Radio (Michael Baisden) centered his talk show on Career Women. The premise was based on the fact that career women are more concerned with their careers than they are with their loved ones.
I touched on this topic in the past, and I agree and disagree with some of the points he and the callers made.
Yet again, this showed me that WE as black women couldn’t seem to win. We can’t be too any of the following:
Strong
Independent
Educated
Fiscally Responsible
Dedicated
Hardworking
For some reason the majority of the male callers seemed to think that something would be neglected, the house work won’t get completed, no dinner will be on the table or brought home, the children will be neglected…but the real reason IMO is that the MAN would be neglected! This was totally crazy to me, because society seems to think that a white woman can do/have it all. But we can’t. Why is that? Michael said women that say they don’t need a man are crazy…that women who brag about doing it themselves are so lonely, that they are screaming and crying out for attention.
I think this role, as the independent, successful career woman is a double-edged sword. We have to have all of the characteristics above and yet maintain a balance. Sometimes we as women, we get tired of always depending on ourselves, doing everything ourselves, or doing it on our own. Yes, its great and fantastic that you purchased a home alone, and are raising your children alone, but when it gets right down to it, all of the alone time doesn’t make up for the time you want to share/spend it with someone special. Your career isn’t going to keep you warm at night, or warm your car in the morning, or pull you close and say, “Hey, I got this”.
Again there must be a delicate balance between being an independent, successful career woman and being an independent co-dependent successful career woman with a thriving prosperous relationship. It all comes down to one thing…relinquishing control and allowing the man to be the man. How can you let a man be a man, if you’ve never encountered a man that is a man? Sounds like a trick question, but many women equate a good man with being successful career wise. They equate good with a large bank account, big home, and highly educated…which does not a good man make. There are plenty of brothers making very good money, living in fine homes, and have all of the accoutrements of success, yet have no personality what so ever.
This ties in to another point that Michael made…was the fact that too many women have never really had the love of a strong, caring black man, so that when they receive/encounter it they have a tendency to reject it (the love) and him as being soft.
Why can’t WE as black women have the good relationships, the happy home, the prospering careers, and happy, well-adjusted children? Isn’t that supposed to be part of the American Dream? Isn’t it part of OUR/MY reality to have it all?
What do you think…would you give up your career if you found the love of a strong, caring man?
SassyScribe
I touched on this topic in the past, and I agree and disagree with some of the points he and the callers made.
Yet again, this showed me that WE as black women couldn’t seem to win. We can’t be too any of the following:
Strong
Independent
Educated
Fiscally Responsible
Dedicated
Hardworking
For some reason the majority of the male callers seemed to think that something would be neglected, the house work won’t get completed, no dinner will be on the table or brought home, the children will be neglected…but the real reason IMO is that the MAN would be neglected! This was totally crazy to me, because society seems to think that a white woman can do/have it all. But we can’t. Why is that? Michael said women that say they don’t need a man are crazy…that women who brag about doing it themselves are so lonely, that they are screaming and crying out for attention.
I think this role, as the independent, successful career woman is a double-edged sword. We have to have all of the characteristics above and yet maintain a balance. Sometimes we as women, we get tired of always depending on ourselves, doing everything ourselves, or doing it on our own. Yes, its great and fantastic that you purchased a home alone, and are raising your children alone, but when it gets right down to it, all of the alone time doesn’t make up for the time you want to share/spend it with someone special. Your career isn’t going to keep you warm at night, or warm your car in the morning, or pull you close and say, “Hey, I got this”.
Again there must be a delicate balance between being an independent, successful career woman and being an independent co-dependent successful career woman with a thriving prosperous relationship. It all comes down to one thing…relinquishing control and allowing the man to be the man. How can you let a man be a man, if you’ve never encountered a man that is a man? Sounds like a trick question, but many women equate a good man with being successful career wise. They equate good with a large bank account, big home, and highly educated…which does not a good man make. There are plenty of brothers making very good money, living in fine homes, and have all of the accoutrements of success, yet have no personality what so ever.
This ties in to another point that Michael made…was the fact that too many women have never really had the love of a strong, caring black man, so that when they receive/encounter it they have a tendency to reject it (the love) and him as being soft.
Why can’t WE as black women have the good relationships, the happy home, the prospering careers, and happy, well-adjusted children? Isn’t that supposed to be part of the American Dream? Isn’t it part of OUR/MY reality to have it all?
What do you think…would you give up your career if you found the love of a strong, caring man?
SassyScribe
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