Skip to main content

Honesty & Dating...

In a group discussion, the subject of honesty in men and women came up. How important is honesty in a relationship.

Now some, {an ex or two, that is}, would say I know nothing of honesty. When I started dating in the beginning of 2005, I have found that men cannot handle honesty in women. In all of my dealings and relationships with people, I am as honest as I can be without being cruel, crass,, brisk, or brash. I want to be honest and upfront about every aspect of my life. The issue that I run into is this, men say they want honesty, but they really don't. Now I know that we as "mere" females, say we want the truth and SOME of us can't handle the truth, but the point is as honest as we are to you all, we want that right back. If your not feeling me, say so. What's so wrong with saying "Sassy, you're a great woman, but I'm just not feeling you in that way." Its honest, upfront, and two the point. It eliminates me from the "grand scheme" of things, and therefore, we can continue with a friendship {if that's possible} or not. Besides, when we are dating...who says the rule has to be that we ALL must immediately vibe and fall in love? Most of the men that I have met have turned into really good friends. We enjoy one another's company, talking on the phone, dinner, and the movies. There is no pressure on either of us to do any more or less than we want to. The only problem I have with most of the men I meet, is the question of dating. They don't like the fact that I am dating other men.

When men ask me am I dating I answer yes. Which brings up another issue...Men and women have two different definitions of dating. My definition of dating - "a series of events, where two people can get to learn/know one another." These events may be over dinner, dancing, the movies, phone conversations, etc., but they have set in stone a tenet for a relationship. It is however, establishing a learning process of at first friendship, liking, then eventually love. If you get to that stage. This process is not without its obstacles. See when we open our lives up to new people, we also open our lives to their dramas, bullshit, family, and friends. By admitting new individuals into your life, you have accepted that there will be some growing pains to this new development in your life. Honestly, it will take you 30 - 90 days to find out the true character of the person your dealing with. If we were honest, and I am, I can tell whether or not I am going to vibe with you from a phone conversation, the intonation of your words, the sound of your voice, tells me whether or not I could vibe with someone. It may seem superficial to some, even shallow to others, but why waste time when I can feel, that we are not a good fit.

This does not just go for people of the opposite sex, but for people of the same sex. I have met and/or talked to women that I know right off the bat, that our personalities will not mesh.

Yet the issue at hand still remains...do men and women value honesty in relationships? The comments should be interesting...

SassyScribe

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

So Horny...It Hurts!

As usual my discussions stem from random thoughts that I have and from conversations with friends, family, & acquaintances. But we were talking about sex and levels of horniness and one of us spoke up and said, "I'm so horny...it hurts!" (Hmmm...I thought about this and came here...to you...)

Have you ever gotten to the point where you are so horny it hurts! Its a physical ache deep in your bones. Every muscle and sinew, every step, stretch, and run, is so physically excrutiating to the point of being unbearable! You know sometimes your eyes cross, you get bumps on your face, and your nerves are completely on edge. You say your are angry and frustrated when in fact all you need is a little hot monkey sex to get you back in order...In situations like that, your body has a tendency to shut down on itself.

As I write this, I wonder how many of us are so horny that it hurts? I honestly feel that dyck and puzzy are a dime a dozen...anyone, and I do mean anyone, regardless o…

Summer Time is OVA & WSER Sassy Entertainment Radio™ Is Back!!!

Summertime is over and Sassy & Dlyte are back for more love and sexuality talk on WSER Sassy Entertainment Radio™!!!

September 2nd Sassy and Dlyte dishes the 411 on their favorite and the sexiest most musicological artist of all time PRINCE ROGERS NELSON with Barbara Rogers Rashid founder of the FloridaNPG Fan club as she shares her recent visit with the Purple One at Paisley Park Studios.

September 9th - Tim Alexander Castles Studios Filmaker and director of DIARY OF A TIRED BLACK MAN joins in the discussion on the state of black men and women and relationships.

September 16th - When To Give Into Intimacy is it the 3rd date, 3 months, or 6 months...??? Sassy & Dlyte will discuss if and/or when is there a right time to move forward with an intimate relationship.



September 23rd - Filmmaker & Director Dennis Dortch visits WSER to discuss his latest movie GOOD DAY TO BE BLACK & SEXY a movie about Black love and sexuality as well as the current state of black relationships.

Women Are Emotionally Retarded

The topic on women not listening sparked a madddd debate between a friend and I.

I am of the belief that if a woman is interested in a man and that man she is interested in or in lust with doesn't reciprocate her feelings she should move on. She should remove herself from this man and also ensure that he is no longer in her immediate inner circle/core of friends, but rather on the outer fringes of her life. I was told that by my saying this, then I believe that women are emotionally unable to handle rejection and therefore must cast their net out to others hoping that someone else will bite. Rather we (women) should keep this man around as a friend and not involve ourselves with other men, just because the man that the woman is interested in is not interested in her. He went on to liken it to a woman shooting buckshots until she shoots and catches someone.

I went on to state that if women find themselves in this emotional quagmire of a situation with a man whose feelings aren't …