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Characteristics of Men

The 12 Characteristics of Men
Saphari Books, Inc.
January 2006©
SassyScribe


Once I read about the characteristics of women, I sat down and thought of the different types of men...ladies we've all at one time in our lives fell for, dated, married, slept with, sexed down, ran after, chased, was so super pressed that we lost ourselves at one point in time for these types of men.

As a "serial dater" - I date, but no one seriously to date...I've run across these types of men and have found the entire situation hilarious.

But I have to say, should we, like the men, fall for any of these types of individuals-we only have ourselves to blame.

Use these as a blue print for whom not to get involved with...and fellas, that goes for you too...

1. Mr. Love’m & Leave’m
This is the man who only wants one thing from a woman and as soon as he gets this he will not call. His female counterparts are Ms. Tease, Ms Elusive, Ms. Angry and Ms. Bitch. His catch phrase - “I’m not looking for a relationship, but can we have sex?” He is honest in telling you what he wants up front, he’s not playing games so the option to deal with him is yours.

2. Mr. I Don’t Have a Job
He is the male answer to Ms Take., Mr. I don’t have a job is a boy draped in a man’s body waiting for his next meal ticket. Sadly, there are more than enough women out there that are perpetuating this low life. At best you can expect him to work at the least three months of the year, because they need their summers off---hell it is vacation time! Isn’t it???

3. Mr. Romance
He is the epitome of and puts the “R” in romantic. Sends you flowers and candy, takes you out for candlelight dinners, and tells women exactly what they want to hear. He is the type to set up a picnic in the park, or at his place in front of a real and/or artificial fireplace. He has no problem making your romantic fantasies come true. The downside to this is that he is usually not as good in bed as out of it. Bottom line --- he’ll eat the hell outta you, but you won’t get your back blown out!

4. Ms. Gun Shy
“Y’all scare me” is the brother whose heart was ripped out by a combination of all of these women combined. Her name is Ms. Manipulator. She is a wordsmith who can back herself out of any corner, and her loving is so good that he forgets the majority of her transgressions repeatedly. In the end, she leaves him, for that strong Mandingo warrior, whose masculinity surpassed his twofold. Because of his now broken heart and shattered dreams, he is afraid of love – rather he “needs time alone”. Translation – a bitch broke my heart and now I’m scared of all of y’all!

5. Mr. Momma's Boy
This brother is still sucking upon his momma's breast. He more than likely lives in his momma's basement and needs momma's approval on everything from what to wear to giving her the final say on the woman in his life.

6. Mr. Lover -Lover
This man is the epitome of sex. His loving his hot, erotic, sure, and slow, with long deep strokes to make your body clench from the anticipation of what’s to come. He is a walking, talking, sex machine and will definitely blow your back out. The downside is that is usually all he is looking for...he is the best friend of lovem' and leavem'...but his is more subtle because he will sex you down and have you begging for more- then drop you like a hot potato.

7. Mr. Mandingo
Stands six feet four, two hundred and fifteen pounds of solid muscle, washboard stomach and bulging biceps all encased in smooth chocolate. This is the brotha women are looking for, because he is the dyck slinging, booty slaying, definitive back breaker. He is the ULTIMATE DYCK Master! Unfortunately, he is not the marrying kind nor is he the type to settle on one woman.

8. Mr. Preacher Man
The man of the cloth is the worst snake in the grass. He is always spouting bible versus while attempting to feel you up with one of his "healing hugs". Don’t trust these men, because they are wolves in sheep’s clothing.

9. Mr. Nerd
Mr. Nerd's is one of the good guys. They are generally nice, kind-hearted individuals, only problem is that his head is usually full of inane information that we could really care less about. He doesn't dress well and isn't up on the latest "street/cultural" scene, but he is responsible and usually secure. Sometimes ladies nerds are keepers.

10. Mr. Chauvinist
He has set ideals on the roles of women. He is usually the type to be very controlling, wanting to tell you how to dress, when to speak, how to act, etc. He will dislike your outspoken girlfriends and try to discourage you from hanging with them, this way your head will not become filled with "hating information from miserable betties".

11. Mr. Bad Boy/Thug
"Thug Lovin" is the man that all women are attracted to. He is a law unto himself, and answers to no one. He walks on the wild side and rides with danger. HeHis friends are suspect, his attitude is cocky and self assured--borderline arrogant. He can be prolific in his own way, but women keep this one away from their girls-- because he has no problem doing you and them. Alone or together doesn't matter, he is out for self.


12. Mr. Workaholic
Mr. Workaholic is exactly as he sounds. Too busy establishing his career and stacking dough to entertain a relationship. His woman, his lover, his wife, his L I F E, is his career. First, last, and always, his money is important to him as is his status in life. This is the man that may be good for wining you and dining if it benefits him (i.e. a function related to his career), and he may even be good for a hump here or there, but do not look at him as relationship material. He does not have the time nor the inclination to pursue you or it.

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