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Knowing What You Know Now...??

Knowing what you know today, would you have had your children with the same person(s)?
Its funny how children seem to change a relationship, and I wonder if we had chosen our co-procreators better then what would the end result have been?

This thought has been marinating in my mind as I sit back and watch the things people say and how they interact with their children(s) parent(s). I detest the term "baby daddy" or "baby momma", I prefer the word parent.

See, I think people are overwhelmed by the feelings of lust, and therefore forgo all precautions. It may not have been intentional, but the end result is a child, and children are blessings, unfortunately, not everyone is prepared for and/or capable of accepting their blessing(s).

We see/hear daily how women use children as weapons of evil against the "man that did them wrong" when they didn't check to see that their "man" already had two children prior to theirs that he wasn't doing right by, so what makes her child special. NOTHING! That boy obviously has issues handling his responsibilities and yet you had the child anyway. I think it is also a problem when the "accident" (what I call intentional lifelong entrapment) happens, and he says flatout he does not want the child, yet is forced to support it. Don't shoot me, plenty of folks have been in this situation for years. Another scenario is the woman who says she doesn't want it, yet he convinces her to have it with promises of tomorrow, and in the end it was just talk...now she is saddled with a child that she didn't want,and has to take care of (I know women who remind their children daily, about their circumstances, so it happens). How many children are in these very same circumstances now? I'm not saying they aren't loved...but what were the circumstances surrounding their conception.

I've heard plenty of women say, (not to the child) but to other adults that they wish they had chosen the parent better...that's a sad statement. Although the intent was to have sex and feel good, the end result was different, ergo changing the lives of everyone involved and that includes immediate and extended families. It becomes one big huge cycle in my eyes of thinking that being a single parent is somehow sexy or sophisticated, when in reality the children, (again in my opinion) are being cheated of being raised by two parents.

I know I may get bombarded with emails and cursed with questions like, "how would you know, you don't have kids", and that is my point. I said early in my life that I would never have children without the benefit of marriage- period. I saw the struggles of single-parenthood of my sisters, cousins, aunts, and friends, and it never appealed to me, never looked right to me, and therefore I never allowed mistakes to happen. There were always double precautions, thats because I had a fear, yes a fear, of having a child on my own. Besides that most of the men I met already had children and I didn't want my first to be his second, third, etc....

So I wonder, how many of you, knowing what you know now, would still have had children with the same people? (Please and don't tell me "If I didn't then little Kim or Johnnie wouldn't be here" I understand that) I just want honesty...

SassyScribe

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