I am going to try and write this blog without coming off or sounding like a tired bitter woman...but dammit I may not be able to be quite as objective as I would like...I have said it too many times that the relations between men and women has deteriorated. Everyday the situation seems to get worse. The thought processess and the way in which people think (nee men) amazes me...or is it that I think in such a common sense fashion that the way in which others think isn't with common sense??? I don't...the confusion of fending off inapproriate phrases, gestures, comments is getting to the point of making me nasty...and trust me I don't want to be nasty for no reason...I work daily on affirmations of my blessings and my satisfaction with my life... What makes you think you can do one of the following from just a mere hello: NO you can't phuck me NO you can't eat me NO you can't lick my azz NO you can't phuck me in the azz NO I ain't going down on you NO I ai...

Thinking about past relationships...I keep coming back to a "just in case" clause...we all have had them, you know the ones, "lets just be friends" after you have been together for a minute, a little more than friends, but nothing quite solid...this means they have met another person, and want to test the waters, but "just in case" it doesn't work out, they can try and come back to you...or this is another good one, its not you its me...another JIC clause, again testing the waters to see what works, but old trusty is right there as the fallback guy/girl... To hell with "just in case" its holding on to something that just isn't meant to be...I mean is it safe to say, that when we continue, these sorts of behaviors or a pattern of having sex with one or more of our exes or past "friends" as the term is fondly called now...are we setting ourselves up to fail for future happiness or relationships? If we continue to hold on to past r...

This article was mailed to me...what do you think about it...should sisters consider that maybe their prince charming isn't a Black Knight, but rather a White one? Read on and share your thoughts... ______________________________________________________________________ More Black Women Consider 'Dating Out' By DIONNE WALKER, Associated Press Writer Sat Aug 4, 3:44 PM RICHMOND, Va. - For years, Toinetta Jones played the dating game by her mom's strict rule. "Mom always told me, 'Don't you ever bring a white man home,'" recalled Jones, echoing an edict issued by many Southern, black mothers. But at 37, the Alexandria divorcee has shifted to dating "anyone who asks me out," regardless of race. "I don't sit around dreaming about the perfect black man I'm going to marry," Jones said. Black women around the country also are reconsidering deep-seated reservations toward interracial relationships, reservations rooted in America...

I was listening to a morning talk show during my morning commute and they were discussing the ongoing problems of a popular minister and his ministry here in Baltimore. Rumors abound that this minister, has issues with extemporaneous hoochies. No other way to put it...if you look at this brother, he exudes a hustler's mentality (IMO)...what folks call a "pimp in the pulpit". This host stated that many of his issues are with women and that his wife should understand or at least should've understood that she was marrying a man that women were going to be attraced to. I can't remember the exact quote, however, it went along the lines of women needing to understand that a man that is powerful and wealthy will have extra marital affairs, and that knowing that, they should turn a blind eye to a rich mans transgressions. Now I understand that women are attracted to men with money and power, and in a sense I do understand why he said it, because we see so many "non a...

Does relationship courting still exist beyond the dinner & then the hotel? In the realm of dating the art of courting, appears to be a lost art. Gone are the days where a man picked you up at your house. Gone are the days where you sat on the porch and listened to the “record player”. Gone are the days, where the man asked your father and/or guardian if he could pursue his interest in you. The gentlemanly courtships of yesterday are gone. The first time I heard the word courting, I was sixteen, when my grandmother or Mumma as we called her asked me if I was courting. When I furled my brow she changed it to “going steady”. She was the first person to explain to me the artful skill of a man that goes a courting with a woman. To court a person is an attempt to allure and/or obtain a more formal relationship. In the olden days, the woman you courted, you married. Handholding was a form of intimacy that implied a promise. Today, one or the other gender often scorns hand holding, snuggli...

Ladies have you ever sat down and examined why it is that you are still single? Have you gone over in your mind all of the bad relationships that you have been in and stayed in and after you left you wondered why? Personally, after I put myself in a relationship with a man that didn't know he was in a relationship, I knew I had some issues I had to deal with. The man was telling me repeatedly that he didn't want a relationship, however, his actions belied his words. I misconstrued his constant phone calls and wanting me to be near me as us having a relationship...when in fact we were just "kicking it" as he said. So with my feelings hurt, I wanted to lash out at him, but I had to check myself and note that I didn't listen to what he was saying. While I cut myself off from other men, he didn't cut himself off to other women. I had to learn to listen, and respect that man for telling me the truth even if I didn't want to hear it. I had to look in the mirror ...

In a conversation with a friend last evening, we got on the topic of my next show...( What Do Black Men Think of Black Women", 7-27-07, www.blogtalkradio.com/sassyentertainment @ 9pm, call in 646.716.7414 ) and inevitably I thought of another topic. He stated that the problem with black women is the lack of a positive male role model in their lives currently and/or in their past. He said that because the black man has neglected his duties regarding parenthood and because some men would rather run game on women, that the women have developed these so called negative characteristics that seem to be indicative of black women. He doesn't agree that this is the reason why brothers date women of other races...he does however, believe that this is the reason why black women can appear mean and negative to some...and vulnerable and easy to others. It got me to thinking about his statement, and having grown up with my father, and having a come from a loving background whose parents are...

I found this on another message board...check it out! 20 Things Holding Black Women Back 1. Superwoman Syndrome ---I’ve been with a few females who thought they can multitask effectively. It was real annoying when we were talking on the phone. They usually seem very distracted but still insist they are still listening. YEAH RIGHT. Hint: Sisters, it's impossible to work fulltime, raise kids fulltime, go partying fulltime, and chase men fulltime! You'll end up focusing on one and neglecting the others. 2. Fear of Being Alone ---This is all too common with Black females who always are in a relationship and use a “backup” if needed. These backups are usually the "nicer" brothas who think they are number one with the female, but in actuality, they are just getting played. If you want real respect and admiration from a Black woman become, a thug and a felon. 3. Hair, Hair and Hair ---Yea what’s up with females who pay 75+ dollars every two weeks to get their hair done? W...

I was talking on another board and one of the women asked this question... Is the state of the black church one of the reasons why many black women remain single? Do men control the state of marriage or does pussy power still prevail? Now my response addressed alot of the other comments, but the basic premise is again about women...and this is what SassyScribe had to say.... ------------------------------------------------------ The problem is that women aren't being honest...and they aren't listening to what men are telling them. If you meet a man and he tells you that he is not getting married and not looking for a relationship, why then do you continue to stay with him? There is no tried and true method to getting a man to the altar...what women need to do is stop trying to define themselves by the fact that they have a man in their life. Stop buying into the fact that good men are in church...there are alot of men in church, the majority are married, or gay and the singles ...

This past weekend marked my families 31st Annual Crab Feast in Baltimore, with over 1100 people in attendance! I know that my girlfriends, family and myself, had a muphaphucking ball! I made well over 500 jello shooters, that I shared with the 200 people that purchased tickets from me. But today, I want to discuss what I saw over the weekend. You know what...I am all for women with banging ass bodies making the most of their "assets", but there is a fine line between sexy and slutty, and trashy and classy. Some of the "uniforms" this weekend, varied from the tame, to the extreme. There were women showing their tits and ass and were offended at the comments that some of the men made because they are wearing a whorish or slutty "uniform". Yes, I sound bitchy, because that is the mood I am in now. Don't wear the dress cut up to your ass showing your damn puzzy to the world and then get upset when a man steps to you on a strictly sexual tip. Don't get ...

In a conversation with my best friend, she called me after reading my previous blog "Do Black Men Truly Despise & Loathe the Black Woman?" She understood that the characteristics the gentlemen described are in all of us, both men and women. She and I both found one or two that ascribe to us currently, but that does not a bad Black woman make. So she asked me to ask the following questions: Why is it that every question posed of the black woman is in the negative? Why is it that when we speak of the black woman we only see the wrong doings? Why is it that when speaking of the bi-racial relationships….that people only speak of the black woman as being hurt and envious of the black men dating white women and not see the hurt and humiliation that white men feel that his white woman is dating the black man. It can’t always be blamed on the black woman for all wrongs. If so, contrary to belief, there are still 99% of black men still dating the black woman……which goes to show bl...

We all know folks out here tolerating alot of unnecessary bullshyt from their significant other...I sit back and look at them, saying to myself "Girl, you are good, because I wouldn't put up with that bullshyt," but you know what, someone will. Or is it more like someone has to? How many times have we heard that what one woman/man won't do another will? Too many times to count, right. But does that saying make situations right? I mean when someone does something that you don't like...betrays a trust, a confidence, cheats, steals, or lies etc...what makes some people forgive---over and over and over and over...how many times does a person get a second chance? Don't get me wrong, I feel that sometimes people make honest mistakes...but to continue to repeat the same mistake is not a mistake...its a problem, that obviously the person cannot fix on their own. When I think of deal breakers, I think like this... Cheating Cheating and the person gets pregnant Cheating...

I have been thinking about this topic for a minute and I plan to discuss it at length soon, but for right now, I just have one question, or rather an observation. Is it me or are women whores for money? Are women whores for a certain lifestyle to the point that they sell their souls to live the good life? They don't care if their man is phucking half of the nation so long as he brings the bacon home to them. They don't care if he looks like the broad side of a bus or the bottom of a shoe, so long as his dollars are long and his pockets are deep. I've heard women say, {self included} that so long as he was making money that he could do any damn thing he wanted...but that is a hypothetical situation. In real life, having dated men with money, I realized one thing - they are the most arrogant assholes around! So I had to say to myself what was more important, that man, that man and his money, that man his money and his lifestyle I was enthralled by, or my self respect. Guess w...

Do you think sex can confuse situations? What connotations and/or stipulations do you place [if any] on an individual once you have had sex with them? Are you the type to say that you only want sex occassionally with that person, then try and turn it into a daily event. Do you question whom they are with and where they have been when you cannot contact/locate them? Are you suspicious of their behavior when you're not around? If you call someone and they don't call you back in 2.2 seconds do you get upset? Is it because you had sex with that person and now you have attached invisible strings? I often wonder why it is that people are cool with a man or woman for a minute and then they add the element of sex and one or both of them loose their minds. Its like sex turns them into a stalker! Why is it that sex is so complicated and confusing? I know people, mainly men that are predisposed to having multiple sex partners with no thought of any affection at all. I know of a couple of ...

A couple of weeks ago I received a letter from a woman seeking advice about an illicit affair she is having with her preacher. I recently posted this on my www.asksassyscribe.blogspot.com site. And I have to ask...what is it about men of the cloth, be it preachers, pastors, reverends or ministers. Which someone would have to explain the difference in titles to me, because I do not know...anyway, I wonder what it is that seems to push women to wanting these individuals. Its almost as if their panties juice up and get soaking wet at the sight of them in the pulpit. Hell, forget the pulpit, sometimes women go crazy just know and/or hear that a brother goes to church. Are they falling into that old adage that all good men are in church? Hmmm...some of the biggest playas I have met are in the church. That's right I said it...they talk more shyt than a little bit, but hitting up on Sassy is not the right thing to do. I may not attend church as often as I should, but I have yet to see a ...

I have noticed that some people thrive on drama. You ever notice that when you meet someone and they say they are drama free, and as you get to know them they have more drama than your mama? I tend to not want to cover everyone with the same blanket, but when folks tell me they live a drama free life, I tend not to believe them...it may be wrong but thats me. You may be different. I notice that there is still alot of drama going on in relationships. I see it daily in the emails that I get. I see it in the relationships of my friends and former friends and lovers. I see that some people cannot function on a daily basis unless they have a mountain of drama in their lives. See, drama is exiting, and gives you something to talk about and/or discuss. It gives some folks lives purpose and meaning...but to me its uncalled for and unnecessary. Have you ever noticed that the nicer you are to a person the more they shyt on you, yet the meaner you are to a person the more they want to do for you?...

As I go through my emails daily, I am amazed at the number of women that are not following couple of basic rules of thumb. They write wondering what it is they are doing wrong, and as a woman that used to make the same mistakes and used to have the same drama, problems, and issues, we live and learn to obey the unwritten or is it written rules???? Maybe its the rules that our mothers taught us early in life that we failed to listen to...but its simple and basic. DO NOT SLEEP WITH A MAN BEFORE GETTING TO KNOW HIM. Do not expect him to give you more because you slept with him. I have written about this a thousand times it seems and its still not sinking in....yes SEX is great, and wonderful, but sometimes SEX alone is not enough. When will we [men and women] wake up to that fact...?!?!?!? Women want to know where it is they went wrong with a man, well honestly, it could've started in a number of ways, but the problem lay in that you [nee women] well some women, fail to delve below th...

Don Imus' comment about "Nappy Headed Ho" has sparked several debates throughout the country. Yes, RACISM is alive and well in America, we all know that and we all will discuss this issue for a moment and then quietly it will go away. As it usually does, because everyone is trying to remain Politically Correct with words, terms, and tense...etc. Because of Imus we now want to delve into the Hip Hop Industry and how they continuously degrade women...which is true, I don't want to sit here and state that what it is they say about women is right, because we all know its wrong. We have had the ladies of Spelman College talk about this, and nothing happened. We have had several black congresswomen and state senators discuss this issue- with nothing being done. NOW all of a sudden Hip Hop is bad and projects negative images of women. Yes, its been going on for years and now folks want to talk about it. The negative portrayal of women in music and hell, Hollywood period is a...

The rape charges against the Duke lacrosse team have been dropped. This topic feeds off of a previous topic I posted March 1, 2007 "It Was Consenual ---She Called It Rape". It was about a friend of mine who was investigated/interrogated because of a consenual sexual act that was later called rape. The charges were dropped, but he will forever have to have that over his head. Let me say that as a woman, one of the worst things that can happen to you is to be violated...sexually, mentally, emotionally, and physically. BUT...I think too often women put themselves in situations where they do not have control and therefore you have alcohol mixed with raging over zealous hormones...not an excuse for what happened, but you must be more aware of your surroundings and the situations you place yourself in. To answer your question, no I don't put myself in situations that I know would be unsafe. I would feel remiss in not commenting on the charges that were recently dropped against ...

Don Imus must go...the comments that he made on his radio show, were not only offensive to me as a black woman, his words hit me on so many levels. As a dark skinned sista, the words jiggaboo, pickaninny, and darkie set me off! And then you couple that with words like "nappy headed ho's" and its on! But doesn't the issue for us as a community go deeper, than Don Imus. Doesn't the accountability begin and end how WE feed into the stereotypes? Lets think about that for a moment and don't for a moment think I don't feel that Don Imus should be removed, but you and I both know that he wont. If anything this only proves that the African/Black/Colored/Negro Community is constantly under the microscope of the world! Its crazy, but with this statement it is so true...especially when it comes to someone voicing a sentiment that I believe they have always felt in their heart, but was too policitically polite to state it. We have seen Michael Richards trying to back ...