3 Greatest Loves                                Recently I learned that we only experience 3 great loves of our lives. I had no idea because I’ve only experienced the first of those 2 loves and I hope before I die, I get to experience the 3 rd . What are the 3 greatest loves that we will experience? Young Love/First Love Our first of the three is that of young love or our first love. It is new and fresh and has our emotions all over the place. We are told that this type of love doesn’t last, but we all know high school sweethearts who have been together since high school or in some cases middle school. I had this experience with my high school sweetheart; it lasted 15yrs...until it didn't. . Toxic Love Our second love is that Toxic Love. It’s that love where there is always some sort of drama or contention and for whate...

   Sometimes you just want to say Eff it, when it comes to Valentine's Day    Oh no! That dreaded day is just about 3 weeks away, and all of the single people, women mostly are trying to psych themselves out, by saying "its just another day". Which is true. Valentine's Day is just another day, but as a single person, it just makes your singleness that much more acute. You tend to feel your singleness the most during Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, Valentine's Day and your birthday. How many times have you gotten tired of the squeals and yelps of delight as co-worker, after co-worker, friend, after friend, received a delivery of beautiful long-stemmed red roses, the large heart-shaped balloon or oversized Teddy Bear emblazoned with "I LOVE U" OR "BE MINE"? Do you swear silently to yourself as you plaster a fake smile on your face as you comment happily about their good fortune? Yes, I know, too many times to count. It's ...

justwright-themovie.com Just Wright the new romantic comedy starring the divinely voluptuous Dana Owens aka Queen Latifah and rapper turned actor Common are explosive on the scene and have amazing chemistry. What turns into a chance meeting at a gas station leads to love but not with the one with the jiggly-bits, rather the stunningly beautiful best friend, played by Paula Patton (wife of R & B crooner Robin Thicke). This movie hits home to what some voluptuous women have had to deal with most of their lives…the skinny one got the guy. Or as they said in the movie “the girl who was supposed to get the guy did. The landscape of single, plus size African American women is just as large (no pun intended) if not more-so than the landscape of single, professional, black women. Society however states that in order for a woman to be beautiful and a great catch, she has to have a size 2 body. She has to be somewhat shallow and superficial and it matters not, so long as she is an arm charm....

It has been a while since I last posted to my blog(s)…the reason for that is that I am way too busy. Not only am I writing my books, I am an internet radio talk show host ( www.blogtalkradio.com/sassyentertainment ), as well as an internet web-show host ( www.iseecolorlive.tv ). Yet, more importantly, I have been doing a lot of self reflection. Reflecting on my issues with fear and love. What I realized is that I have been “in like” plenty of times in my life, but the last time I was in love, was over 15 years ago. Amazing, that it has been so long, but I had to stop and wonder why? As SassyScribe, I am always stating that women need to sit back and take stock of situations. They should learn something valuable from every relationship that they have been involved in. That is what I have done…and it was a sad revelation for me. See, the man that I was in love with, was a good person, but not the right man. The man I fell in love with was funny as hell, a loving son, and very smart…sma...

Excerpt from forthcoming book... Sassy’s Rules of Dating 2009© SassyScribe (Saundra E. Harris) Saphari Books, Inc. The first rule of dating is to go on the date with no expectations. We as women set ourselves up when we go on a date with this mindset. Keep an open mind. Be charming and friendly. Do not send a representative in your stead, be your self, because any act or sham will come out later. Again this is something that took me four years to learn. When I date, I go on the date with one expectation, and that is to have fun. I enjoy the food, the conversation, the laughter, or whatever it is he has planned for the evening. Even if there is no love connection, I have opened up my life to a possible new acquaintance. There are some tried and true questions that one should ask on a date, most especially a first date. Truth be told, some questions should’ve been asked in advance. I firmly believe that when you meet a person, you can find out some things in the first twenty minutes o...

Cynthia Nixon did it. Lindsay Lohan's doing it. TV shows are based on it. Is it our imaginations, or are wives and girlfriends ditching their men and falling in love with other women? New science says that sexuality is more fluid than we thought. Lately, a new kind of sisterly love seems to be in the air. In the past few years, Sex and the City's Cynthia Nixon left a boyfriend after a decade and a half and started dating a woman (and talked openly about it). Actress Lindsay Lohan and DJ Samantha Ronson flaunted their relationship from New York to Dubai. Katy Perry's song "I Kissed a Girl" topped the charts. The L Word, Work Out, and Top Chef are featuring gay women on TV, and there's even talk of a lesbian reality show in the works. Certainly nothing is new about women having sex with women, but we've arrived at a moment in the popular culture when it all suddenly seems almost fashionable — or at least, acceptable. Statistics on how many women have traded ...

I am a huge fan of Steve Harvey! I love his morning show and I thoroughly enjoy his Strawberry Letter segment, but everyday, it’s a different woman allowing a man to keep his foot on her neck. I constantly find myself laughing and shaking my head, because I find it funny? Is it really that important to be in a relationship? I know that no one wishes to or wants to grow old alone, but damn, what happened to have self respect? Over the weekend, the girls and I went out for a drink and we were talking about how long it takes women to “figure” it out. Why is it that some women have yet to understand themselves and/or know their own power? I told them that a friend asked me why women gave each other bad advice all the time…honestly, we didn’t know, because our sect is very outspoken and at times “inyourface” with our opinions. Added to that he asked why do women hate on each other? It’s as if the minute a woman thinks that there is a possible chance of “hooking up” or getting themselves...

A while back I posted a blog entited "ARE WOMEN WHORES FOR MONEY"{ http://situationswithssassy.blogspot.com/2007/06/are-women-whores-for-money.html } ...I have to ask this question and just put it out there...is it okay for women to marry for money? I look at the BravoTV series of the Real Housewives of OC, NYC, and most recently ATL and I listen to this young 25yo woman say "at first when I met my husband I was not physically attracted to him, but then I realized he was sweet and very successful..." and I am sitting at home going WTF...I mean for real...don't tell me you didn't find his money attractive first then you began to actually like him...come on...then to have one of the other OC housewives state "I can see what she see's in him, he is a very successful and confident man..." man puhleaze...why won't the women just say it...its fun and good and easy to marry to for money...I won't castigate for saying that...because you are b...

Was your virginity worth losing...what are your thoughts? Do you or do you not regret your first experience...Your thoughts... ___________________ I actually thought about this question alot during my self imposed celibacy...it made me think about my own sexual history and it sparked the thoughts of regrets, fear, sadness, happiness, freakiness, wicked fun, monogomy, and at times blatant promiscuity...It allowed me to put sex in perspective...what it meant to me emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and physically...and you know the sad part is that there were a few doors I wanted to knock on and ask for my pussy back, but that was unfair, because I gave it away and I can put that down to youthful trangressions...but TODAY there are still alot of women trying to knock on doors asking for their pussy back. I mean at what age do we become more discerning about who we are going to phuck? When do we sit back and think about it...Men may not have this thought as much as women, but I am sure t...

It’s been a minute since I have written a blog because of my hectic schedule and other things, I was thrown off track for a minute, but now I am back. During my hiatus I have been doing a lot of sitting back and watching people—men in particular, interactions between the sexes…watching folk’s reactions to situations and gauging body language of what people reading what is being said and unsaid. Trolling the internet as I do 24/7, I have noticed that there are a lot of blogs, vlogs, message boards, and pod casts, etc. that are constantly denigrating black women. Black women are manipulative, bitter, unfriendly, nasty, mean, ornery, etc. you name it there is something on the web to back that up. It’s as if there is nothing nice to say about black women. As if we are the dregs of society and quite frankly not only was I offended…it pissed me off. For years the black woman has been the back bone of our race. We have had to be strong and pick up where others have dropped the ball, from ...

How much of your sexual history should you disclose to a mate? For some women this question remains a constant conflict because how much of the reveal is too much? I advocate truth telling, although we all know that there are some that live in their convoluted and distorted truth. But, in this day and time, it is vitally imperative to your health and welfare to always state the truth. As adults we understand that you may not want to reveal all...that at one point in our lives we may have done something that was a little wild and/or off the hook and some things you just may decide to take to the grave. But years ago, you know back in the day when dating was easier and fun, you didn't have the issues that you have today. The questions that individuals must ask today are not questions that you had to ask twenty years ago. Today we have to ask questions like: Are you currently sexually active? If so, how many partners are you intimate with? Have you ever have or currently have a sexual...

This popped up on a message board that I talk on...yet it is so very appropriate for my show topic tomorrow...its a letter a black man wrote about why he cheated on his wife... I found this interesting to say the least...he touched on some points that I have heard some men make, but does that excuse the behavior? What are your thoughts on this... ______________________________________________________________ *Why I Cheat on My Beautiful Black Wife I am a black man and a cheater. Not all the time, just every now and then. The itch comes to me, and no matter what my wife does, I still can't help but want another woman. At least for a night, or two, or three. I love my wife very much. No woman I've ever met or will meet will hold a more important place in my life. I also love my kids, our house, my job and the fish in my daughter's room. I love everything about my life at home, even though my relationship has become dull and rocky. But while I love having a strong black family...

The 1995 Box office hit “WAITING TO EXHALE” , told the story of four African American women, one married with an impending divorce, one a single mother, and two single women both struggling in relationships with lothario’s and married men. I watched that movie again this morning (3am) and it got me to thinking…How many women are still “waiting to exhale”? How many of them are still waiting for “the one”…”the knight in shining armor”…their soul mate, the one person who really and truly loves, cherishes and understands them. That one person who can finish their sentence, make their heart race, that one person who would do anything for them…no questions asked. I’ve seen this movie at least 100 times, but this time…it moved me to tears. Angela Bassett lying in Wesley Snipes arms saddened and pissed over her impending divorce. Loretta Divine crying to Gregory Hines over her son leaving to tour Europe and her admitting that he had been the man in her life and how unfair it was of her to burd...

Too many times I listen to women talk about how a man has done them wrong…and I hear men talking about how women aren’t being honest, or women don’t know what it is that they want…but ladies, do men really and truly know what they want? Hell no! Men say they want a woman that’s a freak in the bed, a good cook, independent, fun to be around, does not nag , allows him his space, and is a good mother…for some men that have this it still appears to not be enough… Men you may not like this, but what Tyler Perry wrote in his movie “Why Did I Get Married” about that 80/20 rule and that you are only going to get 80% of what you need or want in a person, but because folks are still searching and think they have found something better in that 20% person they go for it…then guess what…that 20% person wasn’t as great as they thought. The grass isn’t always greener on the other side…sometimes its full of rocks...but men have to find out the hard way. You saw how it played out in the movie…it plays...

The infamous Grumpy, moderator extraodinaire of the FAF board, who is always thinking about educationing the ladies...ran across this site and relayed it to me...and now I am sharing it with you! I think this should be a part of a woman's daily regime...but that is JMO! _______________________________________________________ http://www.mypleasure.com/educati...gels_for_better_sexual_health.asp Kegels for Better Sexual Health Ladies, did you know you could perform an internal vaginal exercise that will strengthen the walls of your vagina, making childbirth easier, incontinence more unlikely and orgasms much stronger? If you've had a baby, your doctor probably told you all about these exercises, called Kegels. The rest of you, listen up. A Practical Application Developed in 1946 by Dr. Arnold Kegel (pronounced, "kay-gill"), a Los Angeles obstetrician and gynecologist, Kegels are the rhythmic clenching and unclenching of the pubococcygeal (PC) muscles. Also known as t...

WOW! 2008 has arrived... I want to wish you all a Blessed & Prosperous New Year! As I prepared for the new year, and a new phase in my life I struggled with where to begin. Unlike alot of people, 2007 was a great year for me...I enjoyed alot of success and a few failurers...I met new people that helped me in my growing process and removed myself from some old ones that were attempting to hold me back. I lost some family members near and dear to me, a wonderful aunt, cousin, and uncle in that order...these losses pulled my family closer together, making us stronger, caring, and more loving than ever. However, I was still not sure of what my "resolution" for the year 2008 would be, until I ran across this message board posting from the mighty and wise Grumpy from the FAF board... Didi & UB will know whom it is I am talking about...the message is about A C C E P T A N C E...and that is my New Years Resolution... _________________ One of the greatest causes of our unhappi...

I wonder how deep love truly is…you know it’s the end of the year and I have been reflecting on love, money, men, success, power, sex, relationships...just life in general. I have had money come to me and go…I have had success come to me in stages, and I have seen friends professional careers take off with a blast. But what I have noticed the most, what intrigues me the best is the inner workings of relationships…why are they together, what makes them tick…what keeps them together, and what will be the straw that breaks the camels back. I have watched couples come together in holy matrimony and I’ve seen couples torn apart by selfishness, jealousy, money woes, and infidelity. See, it’s the latter that I am focusing on…because I know of some older couples, and the men have been running women all of my life…just straight ole time womanizing men… and I think to myself, the women involved, their wives really took their vows seriously. And for some who have girlfriend status for more than ...

Dating in today's technological ages has made it easier to connect to a person, however it has added to an increasingly more impersonal method of communicating. There are alot of individuals that will tell you they date online, and one of the first instances of that communication is an email "ice breaker", "we click", or "flirt"...it enables an individual to express an interest in you without having to suffer through the face-to-face rejections that may occur through more traditional avenues of dating (i.e. - asking for a dance, or buying a drink in a bar). If your rejected, if you reach out and that person neglects to respond, it is done in the privacy of your home or office. No one knows that he or she didn't like your look or what you stated in your profile (if you've stated anything at all), because no else knows, other than that individual that you weren't interested. Online dating makes it easier to accept and reject...period. Howeve...

I was having a conversation with a male friend of mine today and he asked me to go to his myspace blog and comment. Well I did that and to sum up his blog he discussed how women lie all the time...they lie about cheating, they lie about paternity in general they just lie...and here is how our IM convo went... TiredBlackMan: I just read your comment SassyScribe: and TiredBlackMan: and I must say... TiredBlackMan: YOU ARE THE ULTIMATE BAMA! TiredBlackMan: what the hell are trying to say? SassyScribe: LOL SassyScribe: what TiredBlackMan: yeesh TiredBlackMan: you made it personal SassyScribe: so TiredBlackMan: women lie in general SassyScribe: don't generalize bama SassyScribe: everyone lies in general SassyScribe: men lie all the time SassyScribe: its one of the reasons I stopped dating TiredBlackMan: and that old excuse that men do it isn't a valid excuse SassyScribe: all that do unto others is BS when men aren't honest from jump SassyScribe: its not an excuse its the truth T...