3 Greatest Loves                                Recently I learned that we only experience 3 great loves of our lives. I had no idea because I’ve only experienced the first of those 2 loves and I hope before I die, I get to experience the 3 rd . What are the 3 greatest loves that we will experience? Young Love/First Love Our first of the three is that of young love or our first love. It is new and fresh and has our emotions all over the place. We are told that this type of love doesn’t last, but we all know high school sweethearts who have been together since high school or in some cases middle school. I had this experience with my high school sweetheart; it lasted 15yrs...until it didn't. . Toxic Love Our second love is that Toxic Love. It’s that love where there is always some sort of drama or contention and for whate...

The placement of the engagement ring has been a long held tradition of showing your status as no longer being available and it’s what some women secretly wish for when dating. However, there is a new trend.  The 2012 tend---the Man Engagement Ring or the MANGAGEMENT RING. Now some women feel that if he has to be managed, why would they want him? But, it’s not the fact that he is being managed, it is just showing that he is no longer on the market. That he is affianced. That he is betrothed. That he is taken! It’s a symbolic gesture like the diamond engagement ring for the women. It can be represented in a plain silver, titanium, or stainless steel band. Some women are even springing for Plain Platinum or gold, with an upgrade of adding diamonds for the ‘big day’. Yet when asked, more women had an issue with such a concept rather than men. Most men had no problem wearing a ‘management’ ring. They felt that it leveled the playing field somewhat. That if he ask...

As I sat and reflected on women who complained about being lied to and then did a look back into my past relationships, the question "do women want to be lied to" popped into my head. With that I started a Q & A with Saundra and Sassy. :-) as a writer you have to have these 'talks'! 1.  Women want to be lied to? Sometimes women prefer a pretty lie to the ugly truth. Some men (not all) will tell women what they want to hear for his greater good… to shut her up or to sleep with her. This isn't a new trick, its as old as time, and women continue to be vulnerable to pretty lies. 2.  Women don’t listen because it doesn’t jive with what she wants to hear.  It goes back to those questions ---about how does he feel about you, where is this relationship leading…etc.  If a man tells you straight up “he is not looking for a relationship” and you sleep with him anyway, and then you wonder why he doesn’t feel the same way about you, you say he is wrong…he i...

You meet him. You like him. You go on a date with him. The first date was the initial meet and greet, where you met for coffee after work. During that time you set up a second date to have dinner a couple of days later. It’s the night of the second date and you are having a fabulous time. Your checklist is getting checked-off, because so far he meets your basic requirements: looks, education, personality, charm, and charisma…but in the back of your mind, you have this niggling sensation about a conversation you recently overheard the women in your salon discussing. As you sat in your stylists chair you listened as they volleyed their dating woes and there was a consensus amongst them all that most men had this unspoken rule that if they took you out on three dates, then by the third date they expected you to sleep with them. You look into his eyes, trying to gauge his thoughts. Does he think like that? Will he expect something on the next date? Should I accept a next date, wi...

While I was out searching for a job, I missed Tracy McMillan's recent Huffington Post article "Why You're Not Married"  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/tracy-mcmillan/why-youre-not-married_b_822088.html.   I know the article was written over a week ago now, but I still wanted to say a little something something...ya feel me. Saundra " SassyScribe" Harris - Author, Relationship Commentator, Internet Talk Show Host...oh, and Single! Because this is yet another lamentation on the woe's of single women...however, this time the writer is encompassing all women and not just Black Women as articles from various writers and bloggers in the past. Ms. McMillan is not the only person writing about this phenomenon, as there are countless books on this very subject for and by women of all races.  Ms. McMillan states in her article that women (using a largely painted brush) particularly single women, are shallow, angry, lying, selfish, sluts who are just not goo...

   Sometimes you just want to say Eff it, when it comes to Valentine's Day    Oh no! That dreaded day is just about 3 weeks away, and all of the single people, women mostly are trying to psych themselves out, by saying "its just another day". Which is true. Valentine's Day is just another day, but as a single person, it just makes your singleness that much more acute. You tend to feel your singleness the most during Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, Valentine's Day and your birthday. How many times have you gotten tired of the squeals and yelps of delight as co-worker, after co-worker, friend, after friend, received a delivery of beautiful long-stemmed red roses, the large heart-shaped balloon or oversized Teddy Bear emblazoned with "I LOVE U" OR "BE MINE"? Do you swear silently to yourself as you plaster a fake smile on your face as you comment happily about their good fortune? Yes, I know, too many times to count. It's ...

The issues facing men and women are not as serious as ‘experts’ would like you to believe. But one thing that the ‘experts’ appear to be right about is the negative attitudes that some black women seem to have? Maybe some of them have an attitude because they are buying into this notion of their not being any available and/or eligible men. Maybe their attitude stems from the belief that all of the good men are married and the rest are homosexual or incarcerated? Maybe some have an attitude as they see more and more black men dating/marrying outside of their race? Or maybe, just maybe some have an attitude because they take themselves far too seriously! What I have noticed, especially when going to various events, be it a night club setting, private dinner party, or open air cultural events, is that some Black Women really do take themselves seriously. Too seriously! I am the last one to buy into stereotypes or so-called statistical information, but recently I’ve come to the realizat...

"Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do." Dr. Spock That is a quote that people should always remember when it comes to all of their relationships. The relationship with your siblings, spouse, parents, children, family, and friends. Those are the most important relationships that you have in your life. We cultivate them. We nuture them. We instill values, principles, and morals in them. It is a quote that even I struggle to remember, but I remember, because trust is an important and imperitive part of all of my relationships. According to Merriam-Webster trust is a: assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something b : one in which confidence is placed The internet craze has placed our society on information overload. Too many of us place a confidence in what it is we find on the internet. Especially when it comes to finding love online. The billion dollar business of online dating is growing expone...

Virtual Dating or VD is a term adopted by myself and the women in my circle when it comes to dating. Virtual Dating is the process of dating via email, instant message, and texting- only. It's the lazy man's way of attempting to procure a relationship with a woman, through various portal's of media, that are increasingly less personal. There is nothing less personal than a text message, an email, or even an instant message--after you have gone through the initial process of the "getting to know you phase". Yes, these avenues are used when initially dealing with a person, as a getting to know you process. Some have used it for other nefarious reasons of sending photo's of there genitalia to prospective suitors. However, in the beginning, at times it is easier to say what you will via a less personal method, as it allows one to "take in" so to speak what you said. It is less invasive, because you do not see the reaction to someone saying "I have ...

Who knew that the dating game would change so drastically over the last twenty years? So many factors play into what changed the game and I feel that the number factor was the internet? The internet made it easier for shy, introverted, sometimes unattractive, uninspiring, lazy, physically disabled and in some instances obese individuals the opportunity to meet a potential love match online. I know what I said is not politically correct, but it’s the ugly truth. On the other hand, it also made it easier for that busy executive and/or a workaholic, single parents, and newly single individuals to find a love match as well. Let’s face facts it’s a helluva lot easier to point, click, accept or reject via the anonymity of the internet as opposed to attending a singles event such as speed dating or a singles meet and greet. Sidebar: 35,000 people meet and marry online every year…which I am sure will give some folks hope. Ideally no one thought and/or believed they would be single again and/o...