Skip to main content

Are the negative characteristics that some associate as just "how black women are", attributed and/or associated with the lack of a positive male role

In a conversation with a friend last evening, we got on the topic of my next show...(What Do Black Men Think of Black Women", 7-27-07, www.blogtalkradio.com/sassyentertainment @ 9pm, call in 646.716.7414) and inevitably I thought of another topic.

He stated that the problem with black women is the lack of a positive male role model in their lives currently and/or in their past. He said that because the black man has neglected his duties regarding parenthood and because some men would rather run game on women, that the women have developed these so called negative characteristics that seem to be indicative of black women.

He doesn't agree that this is the reason why brothers date women of other races...he does however, believe that this is the reason why black women can appear mean and negative to some...and vulnerable and easy to others.

It got me to thinking about his statement, and having grown up with my father, and having a come from a loving background whose parents are still married to this day, it never occured to me that this could be a reason why some sisters harbor some resentment towards men. Is this the reason why sisters are alone? Is it because they lacked the proper male role models that they constantly end up in negative situations?

I have to ask are they subsconciously finding men that have the same unsavory characteristics of the men that weren't in their life? Are the men that they choose seen in the light of more of a father figure---one that can give guidance, as opposed one that is loving and nurturing and willing to be in a positive committed relationship?

Personally, I seek men like my father, protective, strong, responsible, intelligent, committed, and loving, to wit these are characteristics my brother embodies...not to mention the countless uncles and cousins that I have that shows me that men are caring, responsible, and loving. I understand that if one wishes to marry and/or be in a positive committed relationship, we are going to have to compromise (nee submit) to achieve that. For some sisters the word "submit" means a total lack of non-thought on their part, which is wrong, to submit to your man, IMO is the understanding that you love and support him to do that which will enhance your lives together. You understand his goals and are totally supportive of his endeavors. That doesn't mean that you support illegal or unmoralistic activities, but it does mean you have to be supportive and positive...it doesn't mean a woman has to totally compromise all of her values, but she understands that compromise is key to ALL successful relationships...

So are the negative characteristics that some associate as just "how black women are", attributed and/or associated with the lack of a positive male role model in their lives? Are women choosing men like their daddies be it good, bad or indifferent?

I'm interested in your thoughts...

SassyScribe

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Online Dating

When I first got my computer, I used to sit up and chat all night long with numerous people from across the globe. As I got bolder, I actually met some of these individuals that I had chatted with online. The one commonality I found was that they all lied about something...that was in 2002. Today, I am a member of three online dating services {I'm a free member to them so communication is limited} anyway, three years later I am finding the same thing...that they all lie for some reason or another. Now my girlz feel that I am crazy to not only talk to these freaks I meet online but to actually meet them. And I am beginning to realize that they are right...I am crazy or are they crazy? I'm crazy because I genuinely want a relationship, and I am finding out the reason why some of these men are still single and that is....drum roll please--- They don't say what they mean and mean what they say! That goes for the women as well! Now I know life happens and you had a life before ...

Relationship Deal Breakers

We all know folks out here tolerating alot of unnecessary bullshyt from their significant other...I sit back and look at them, saying to myself "Girl, you are good, because I wouldn't put up with that bullshyt," but you know what, someone will. Or is it more like someone has to? How many times have we heard that what one woman/man won't do another will? Too many times to count, right. But does that saying make situations right? I mean when someone does something that you don't like...betrays a trust, a confidence, cheats, steals, or lies etc...what makes some people forgive---over and over and over and over...how many times does a person get a second chance? Don't get me wrong, I feel that sometimes people make honest mistakes...but to continue to repeat the same mistake is not a mistake...its a problem, that obviously the person cannot fix on their own. When I think of deal breakers, I think like this... Cheating Cheating and the person gets pregnant Cheating...