Last night I watched an HBO documentary on Douglass High School in Baltimore, Maryland...and I have to say I cried. The administrative staff is stretched to its academic limits...with several administrators designed to move the school forward and get it back on the right track academically so as not to have the school disbanded, so as not to have the students disbursed to nearby schools, so as not to have the school taken over by the state, they had to get the test scores that have been poor for the last ten years up to par with other schools in the region...I listened and shook my head...this is all due in part of the NO CHILD LEFT BEHIND ACT...a poor example of the worst sort of legislation that always tends to not benefit the urban areas when it comes to schooling...our kids are getting the short end of this stick...but its a three-fold process...it takes the student, both parents (if possible), and the school to have this act repealed...because clearly it is not working. At the tim...

WSER SASSY ENTERTAINMENT RADIO™ Sassy & Dlyte inteview Speaker, Educator, Author, and Hip Hop Head Terrance Dean of the explosive and provocative memoir, Hiding In Hip Hop…On the Down Low in the Entertainment Industry from Music to Hollywood (Simon & Schuster/Atria Books – May 2008). July 3, 2008 @ 9pm EST/6PM PST - set a reminder www.blogtalkradio.com/sassyentertainment About The Author A riveting memoir, Terrance Dean’s, Hiding In Hip Hop, uncovers a hidden and well-known unspoken secret. Deep within the confines of Hip-Hop is a prominent gay sub-culture. A world that industry insiders are keenly aware of, but choose to ignore. From the testosterone of men striving to be on top and in control, to the “by any means necessary” bravado in an industry that thrives on power, homosexuality is a reality at nearly every level of Hip-Hop. Hiding In Hip Hop is a heartfelt sojourn of a young man searching for self, love, and sexual identity in the most homophobic places – the black fam...

June 19th @ 9pm EST/6pm PST - Sassy & Dlyte welcome Valerie Gibson best selling author of COUGAR: AN OLDER WOMANS GUIDE TO DATING YOUNGER MEN, as well as a noted relationship and sex therapist to discuss the pro's and con's of this dating lifestyle. Visit http://www.valeriegibson.com/ to learn more or www.blogtalkradio.com/sassyentertainment to set a reminder for the show. About The Author (taken directly from author's website) Valerie Gibson is a well known and popular Canadian celebrity and was for 12 years the award-winning sex and relationships columnist for the Toronto Sun newspaper, Toronto, Canada. An author, radio and television personality and speaker across Canada and the U.S., Valerie is considered one of North America’s top experts on contemporary love, sex, relationships and dating. She is currently the relationships expert for the new afternoon CBC television lifestyle show Steven and Chris featuring hosts Steven Sabados and Chris Hyndman, the original D...

This is an open letter to women that have children by men that already have or will continue to have multilple children with other women. This blog is for those women [white women] that have children with black men and when the situation doesn’t work out, they then want to remove themselves from that man’s life and his family. They begin to instill in their children the ails of being black and what it means to identify themselves as white. They teach the children to hate a part of themselves, their heritage and bit hright. This is a letter about my nephew who has had multiple children by white women, but because the relationship between Mom & Dad did not work out, his family- my family is being made to suffer. My mother, my sisters and most important of all my nephews and nieces who are BROTHER & SISTER , are going to grow up not knowing the love of a sibling. They are going to grow up not knowing, having, feeling, and sharing that love and affection that is special between si...

https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9OrRdTwda7hKPH4W6wQeH9oOreVI9rRu9yKDCrxVO52QJ5foYjEq1nr7x2zWXHe_2kdYa3XsPGKg7dpNEHAxESO7GIQgDWNLNUymxnAu8R_58w5Bnhhb1BjHwtDF1ZR5LsA/s1600-h/Money+Therapist.bmp Marcia is the author of Money Therapist: A Woman's Guide to Creating a Healthy Financial Life (Seal Press). Her enthusiasm, passion and down-to-earth approach inspire her audiences to take action. Marcia has been the featured speaker at numerous conferences, workshops and organizational meetings. Marcia is a member of the National Speaker's Association.

This is more of a rant than anything and it’s based solely on my opinion. So I wish to apologize in advance for those this may offend…. But I absolutely, positively detest tattoos on women! AND when it comes to men I don’t think that sleeving up your arms, calves, kneck, back, or wherever is a good look either. When I see women with the carefully placed rose on their breast just close enough to the areola so that it shows but not really...or the way in which women strategically place a tattoo there and then sit the girls up high and tight (we all know what the girls are) as if it’s attractive or an attribute or adds to her “sexiness”. I don’t think that we (people) think about the changes that our bodies are going to go through as we age and how the tatts will look in 40 or 50 odd years. When you’re skinny and gain weight, so does the tatt…now it’s all big and ugly and distorted looking…like that rose its now a freaking tree trunk on the arm ‘cause the arm has “exploded” in size! The r...

In the past weeks I have trolled several online communities and have witnessed various postings relating of, for, and about relationships. “Why He Won’t Marry”, “Men That Don’t Want Relationships”, “How To Propose To Your Man” and the list goes on and on. Getting that man to the church on time and not making him make you wait forever seems to be a common thread topic on most message boards. People all over are celebrating the fact that now non-heterosexual couples can legally marry in California? Correct me if I am wrong, but haven't they been doing “commitment” ceremonies for years and hasn’t that been a way of showing their love and I don’t know maybe COMMITMENT to one another!!! Why is the chance to “marry” so important IF YOU ARE ALREADY COMMITTED EMOTIONALLY, MENTALLY, SPIRITUALLY, AND PHYSICALLY TO THE ONE YOU LOVE !!!! I don’t want to hear that they can now enjoy spousal benefits yada yada yada. Some companies, especially those in heavily populated non-heterosexual areas alr...

Tomorrow I am doing a show on church folks and how their hypocritical stance on issues is pissing me off! First of all, regarding the Black church, there are inherent and systemic problems from how the money is handled to the issue of the high number of choir directors that are gay… I know some folks are gonna get their panties in a bunch over this…but I have been witness to folks shouting AMEN at 11:03 am each and every Sunday and those same “Christians” are outside saying “did you see what that Bitch had on”…I’m like WTF…look I sit in church and my mind is thinking about a sex scene for a book or even having sex…I’m not saying that its right, but I am not one of those folks going around bragging about being “saved” yet having “unsaved” actions. I know how hard it is to walk the walk…to stay on the straight and narrow…but I also know that although my mind may not be right at times…my heart is…so when I hear about pastors having children out of wedlock or that choir members are fucking...

This blog is going to sound contradictory to what I have written in the past...but I have to say this...as a woman I can tell you that I am so tired communicating my thoughts, my wants, my wishes and my desires to men. When I listen to professional phsycologists & phsychiatrist they are quick to tell people that you have to "talk out" your feelings. Don't allow anything to fester...but as a woman, how many times are we going to continue to talk and receive no action from it? When is it time for women to shut the hell up and rest out on it? I have learned to ask a man a question....and then be quiet! Yeah, I know I have the gift of gab and I have been known to want to talk a whole in someone's head, but as hard as it is for me to do it...I have learned to stifle my motor mouth and rest it out...lay back up in the cut, and not say a word....hhhhh...not a sound from me and it forces him to answer the question. Now whether or not he chooses to answer is another issue....

I always tell people why it is that I am single. But you know what, the more I think about it, the more I believe that men are just fucking weak! Why is it that an out spoken, self assured, somewhat aggressive, sexy, independent woman is not a “hot commodity” for men? Why is it that men seem to say they want women like that…women that are ambitious and successful and independent, yet when they meet said females, for what ever reason she is not as attractive as he thought? I hear women discuss this issue a lot. Women that own their own homes, that have their own cars, and basically ones that can create a bill and pay that bill are often disparaged by men. A young relative of mine stated that she has had men tell her that she isn’t needy enough…that there really is only one reason as to why she needs a man and that is for sex. Not that she may be, I don’t know, lonely at times…that maybe she would like to have a man in her life for more than just a walking dick, but rather for a companio...

I don't want this to seem a vent or tantrum but I actually started to write this blog on June 10, 2007 while sitting in Hartsfield Airport in ATL on my return trip from Vegas. I was musing about conversations I had had with members of the opposite sex as well as those I have witnessed others having and it just makes me laugh outloud at this whole honesty thing... So I mulled it over....I wrote about it...I did focus group discussions, and I've even done my talk show on this topic. I gave it almost a year and the end result I found is that PEOPLE not just men and not just women, don't want the truth . Men say they want a woman to be honest, but in actual fact, they don't...they really want some things to remain a mystery. They can spout of all the BS they choose, about not finding an honest woman, but they truly don't want to know ALL....they just want to know enough. Enough to make a decision of whether or not you fit the "potential" category...enough to k...

At one point in our lives, everyone has had their heartbroken and/or broken someone's heart. We have been in great relationships that for some reason didn't work and we have been in bad relationships that were destined to fail from the beginning, however, as much as folks say that they wish they had that special someone in their lives, what are they willing to do to get that person? Are they willing to be open and free letting folks in or are they holding off and holding back for fear of being hurt. Are we so desensitized now that folks are no longer saying that their hearts are being broken, rather than their feelings were bruised, because bruise is better than broken. That your heart is still somewhat intact althought it may have a slight crack, it can heal quicker... When listening to issues from women and some men, I have come to the conclusion that as much as men and women say they want that special someone in their life WE {women/men} don't seem willing to let our gu...

WOW! I am a cougar or so states the social commentators for women over 35 or is it 40 that date younger men. I do not see myself as a cougar, because I do not openly nor actively seek younger men...they seek me out! I feel pretty damn good because of that...and I enjoy the company of younger men, not younger fools, but men that are focused and accomplished in their own right...besides old men have been pursuing younger women for years...isn't it time for the tables to turn? Chime in on the discussion... SassyScribe

As a woman I do not believe that I have all of the answers…hell, I just feel that I follow my instinct about men and it has enabled or equipped me with a sense of discernment that I honestly did not have four years ago. In my opinion [and my blogs are just that] dating is not very hard and/or as complicated as folks would like people to believe. On Saturday, March 29th, I facilitated a discussion entitle Technology and Dating- has it helped or hindered the dating process? [blog written Dec ‘07] http://xcapadesofthegirlz.blogspot.com/2007/12/technology-dating.html And it amazed me that out of the fifteen or so individuals in the room, only two of them were dating, and that was myself and one other woman. We discussed the pro’s and con’s of online dating, the high number of individuals that are meeting and marrying online [30k/annually], the ratio of men to women online, the percentage of married men online [40%] and that 72% of women are more likely to find a lover from an online conn...

This popped up on a message board that I talk on...yet it is so very appropriate for my show topic tomorrow...its a letter a black man wrote about why he cheated on his wife... I found this interesting to say the least...he touched on some points that I have heard some men make, but does that excuse the behavior? What are your thoughts on this... ______________________________________________________________ *Why I Cheat on My Beautiful Black Wife I am a black man and a cheater. Not all the time, just every now and then. The itch comes to me, and no matter what my wife does, I still can't help but want another woman. At least for a night, or two, or three. I love my wife very much. No woman I've ever met or will meet will hold a more important place in my life. I also love my kids, our house, my job and the fish in my daughter's room. I love everything about my life at home, even though my relationship has become dull and rocky. But while I love having a strong black family...

With the onslaught of the perceived "man shortage" women are beginning to focus their attentions on men from their friends past. Meaning that they are revising their opinions of the once staunchly forbidden and "possibly" offensive rule of not dating your girlfriends exes/baby daddies/or jump-offs, maintenance men, or friends-with-benefits. In other words, if your girl had sexual relations/dealings of any kind, then he is unspokeningly off-limits to her posse/homegirls/sister gurls. Your homegirls/sistagirls especially know that he is now in an untouchable, a forever untouchable position, regardless of how sexy, or fine, or how much the two of you may have "vibed" with one another, he can't be touched. Yet as women are growing older and the pool for eligible men is supposedly shrinking, they are mulling over whether or not to date an old flame of their friends. Statistics show that African American women are the most uncoupled women on earth, to wit it...

Why is it when a man says he is looking to settle down, he is viewed as being tired of the game? Yet when a woman says she is ready to settle down because of the same reasoning, she is now viewed as being desperate or in a rush to marry. Why is it that women are expected to forgive a cheating/philandering husband, yet a man is not expected to forgive a cheating/philandering wife? Why is it an expectation that a woman will stand by her man regardless of his misdeed? Why is it that single men who right/talk about relationships are viewed as giving sound advice, yet a single woman that does the same is viewed as being bitter and angry? Why is it that a man who engages in multiple relationships is just a man “doing his thang”, yet a woman doing the same is a whore? We are bombarded with various forms of media that continue to support this double standard. Let’s start with the most recent case of Governor Spitzer from NY who ran for public office vowing to eradicate crime and here he transp...

Monday, March 3, 2008, I was a guest panelist along with Martina Evans, on THE FRONT PAGE, with host Craig Thompson, on WEAA 88.9 Morgan State Radio. The topic under discussion was dating and relationships...and I have to thank Martina Evans, the author of Worst First Dates and the Lessons Learned, for thinking of and inviting me to appear along with her. However, I have been thinking about what some of the callers...one them stated that she was 46yo and "that nowadays all a man wishes to do is take you back to his home and screw." We touched on this that night and unfortunately, we were unable to delve deeper into the topic. As I continue with research and viewing the breakdown in communication in the dating process I can see how she would get that mindset. It is my belief and opinion that some women are just making it too damn easy for some men. Don't get me wrong there are women that are more than willing to give it up the first time around, but for most men to automat...

Found another one thanks to my man SoulChild...who happens to be my personal web guru...mucho gracias~ http://health.yahoo.com/experts/menlovesex/73762/why-men-dont-talk/ Why Men Don't Talk As the editor of the biggest men's magazine in the world, I am privy to something many women rarely hear - straightforward, uninhibited guy talk. Don't be so shocked - guys do actually talk, and not just about Tom Brady's quarterback rating. Most women think their man is the strong, silent type (or maybe the oblivious, silent type), and they wonder why he doesn't share his feelings. But here's the truth: Men do want to open up, about their hopes, their fears, and their passions. Yet put him alone in a room with you, and he often turns into a Sphinx. Why can't he take his eyes off the TV and talk about the state of the relationship, or the finances, or, heck, the backyard landscaping? Why in the world can't he just summarize his day for 10 minutes? In fact, one in fi...

Interesting find online... -------------------------------------------- http://health.yahoo.com/experts/m...sex/78433/what-makes-a-man-marry/ What Makes a Man Marry? I have a friend who spent two weeks in Europe with his girlfriend, and some of it didn't go too well. He didn't like the haircut she got pre-trip. She didn't like the way his eye wandered on the streets of Paris. They fought some. So when my friend got back home, he asked a wise friend (no, certainly not me) what he should do. Here's the advice he got: Every relationship is going to come up against some obstacles. They'll either break it up, or make it stronger. If it ends, it wasn't meant to be. If you push through, the relationship will be better than ever. That's stuck with me for a long time, in part because my friend is now 21 years into marriage with that one-time girlfriend. So I'm just guessing that their relationship grew stronger when they faced obstacles. What made the differenc...