We all know folks out here tolerating alot of unnecessary bullshyt from their significant other...I sit back and look at them, saying to myself "Girl, you are good, because I wouldn't put up with that bullshyt," but you know what, someone will. Or is it more like someone has to? How many times have we heard that what one woman/man won't do another will? Too many times to count, right. But does that saying make situations right? I mean when someone does something that you don't like...betrays a trust, a confidence, cheats, steals, or lies etc...what makes some people forgive---over and over and over and over...how many times does a person get a second chance? Don't get me wrong, I feel that sometimes people make honest mistakes...but to continue to repeat the same mistake is not a mistake...its a problem, that obviously the person cannot fix on their own. When I think of deal breakers, I think like this... Cheating Cheating and the person gets pregnant Cheating...

Are you noticing that more and more people are not marrying for love, rather more for convenience. As we grow older and some of us lower our standards and expectations, do you find that they are marrying to stem off living their senior years alone? Is it just me? I am beginning to think that with some of the things that people do "in the name of love" makes me really wonder sometimes..."whats love got to do with it"? Really, you are finding people committing murder/suicide scenarios or just plaine ole murders...all in the name of love. You find women married to and/or living with/dating notorious lotharios and yet and still they don't leave, because "I love him, and we can work this out?" Or he buys them a gift, sends them flowers, takes them on a trip, he does something monetarily to make her forget that he was just swimming in another sea. I talked to a male friend about this and he stated "you call it falling in love and quite frankly, I don...

As women get older and are not in a committed monogomous relationship are they getting more and more desperate when it comes to men? Are women willing to put up with undesirable behavior and negative character traits, and unfulfilling love, just to say they have a man? Have women sold their souls, just to say they have a man? Are women abiding by an unspoken and unwritten dating law, that says they have to sleep with a man by the third date in order to maintain his interest? How important is a call back, after the first date? Are women still thinking about how they will be perceived or what a man thinks of her if she is too easy and accessable? These are the questions that run through my mind and I am interested to hear your thoughts...let's talk about it... SassyScribe

An Oral Sex Nazi is a person who wants to have this service done to them, yet they do not do it for others. Can you all believe that folks are still not performing oral sex on one another? Everyday I hear comments from women about their man not performing oral sex on them and it still amazes me that men are handing out IOU’s. No, I’m wrong. What’s even more amazing…is that women are allowing this to happen. Conversely, there are men that have come forward about women not performing this service well and that they feel some women view it as a chore. Honestly, if this is viewed as a chore either by the man or the woman, then they aren’t feeling you like that and you need to keep it moving…but that’s just my opinion. I am wondering where did this pervasive attitude come from, that it is it okay for a woman to drop to her knees and bless him with a super hot mouth, but its okay if he doesn’t? Is it because women aren’t asking for and/or demanding that this be done to them? Is it because wo...

I was trolling through the internet and ran across a blog posted by a female and she was talking about flirtatious behavior and how upsetting it was to her. I am a consummate flirt. I flirt with my eyes, my lips, my hands, my hair, hell, my entire body is used as a flirtation device- LOL...but this woman was extremely bitter. Before I go any futher we all now it stemmed from her man and his relationship with other women. She does't like the fact that he has the female friends and on top of that believes that the female friends are flirting with her man. As I read the blog, I didn't see bitterness as much as her insecurities stood out. Personally, I don't see any true and/or malicious harm in flirting, if its harmless and we all know there is a difference between harmless flirting and straight up putting it out there that that person could "catch it on a daily". Think about the men and women you work with, that you flirt with, that you may make off color comments t...

A friend and I were talking recently and as usual the topic was about men and women. We were talking about my last blog (Are Women Whores for Money?" posted 6-12-2007). He said the simple answer is YES...women expect men to pay for the services rendered. A heated debate started and it moved into another topic on why is that men sometimes just don't seem to get it. Why are they (men) afraid to romance a woman? I stated that men aren't romantic and don't put forth an effort like they used to. I think that is true because I don't think women demand certain things. I think that women are so hell bent on trying to ensure that their man isn't sleeping around that they tend to overlook the small things. I love flowers, and candy and love men just being gentlemen! I (and this is just Sassy), but I expect for a man to open my door, help me with my coat, pull out my chair, go outside on those cold mornings and start my car, scrape the ice off of the windows, make sure th...

I have been thinking about this topic for a minute and I plan to discuss it at length soon, but for right now, I just have one question, or rather an observation. Is it me or are women whores for money? Are women whores for a certain lifestyle to the point that they sell their souls to live the good life? They don't care if their man is phucking half of the nation so long as he brings the bacon home to them. They don't care if he looks like the broad side of a bus or the bottom of a shoe, so long as his dollars are long and his pockets are deep. I've heard women say, {self included} that so long as he was making money that he could do any damn thing he wanted...but that is a hypothetical situation. In real life, having dated men with money, I realized one thing - they are the most arrogant assholes around! So I had to say to myself what was more important, that man, that man and his money, that man his money and his lifestyle I was enthralled by, or my self respect. Guess w...

Saturday, I was invited to lunch with the members of the Soulful Readers Book Club. "THE PARTY", my debut novel was selected as their book of the month for May. I met Donna, Kelly, Kristin, and Kia, and had a blast. The ladies were very intuitive when it came to the characters of the novel, and Kristin even identified with one of the main characters. She stated that "Kendra" was her, in that she is the peace keeper of her circle of friends. Donna loved the aspect of the five women in the novel remaining friends through all of their trials and tribulations, and was amazed that these women told one another everything! She said that some women only tell about 40% of what goes on in their lives, yet these women shared 100%. I advised her that they didn't quite share 100% more like 80% because I based the characters on how I interact with my girls, my road dogs, my crew...whatever you choose to call them. My family are my true friends...I know that I can count on the...

This is a question for the ladies... How soon after meeting a man do you know whether or not you would have sex with him? I say its five minutes is all you need, its when he opens his mouth that he usually phucks it up and you shut down like naw, not gonna happen. For some women its after a few words of convo and then they decide. It is my belief that most women know just from the physical appearance of a man whether or not she would be willing to sleep with him. For instance, I have a friend that loves Shemar Moore...would leave her man tomorrow in a heartbeat if Shemar knocked on her door. She doesn't know him, he may not even have a big dyck, his personality could be shyt, but he is oh so fine and based on that alone her and many other woman say he could catch it on a daily! So how long does it take you to know that if given the chance, you'd phuck the shyt out of him? SassyScribe

Do you think sex can confuse situations? What connotations and/or stipulations do you place [if any] on an individual once you have had sex with them? Are you the type to say that you only want sex occassionally with that person, then try and turn it into a daily event. Do you question whom they are with and where they have been when you cannot contact/locate them? Are you suspicious of their behavior when you're not around? If you call someone and they don't call you back in 2.2 seconds do you get upset? Is it because you had sex with that person and now you have attached invisible strings? I often wonder why it is that people are cool with a man or woman for a minute and then they add the element of sex and one or both of them loose their minds. Its like sex turns them into a stalker! Why is it that sex is so complicated and confusing? I know people, mainly men that are predisposed to having multiple sex partners with no thought of any affection at all. I know of a couple of ...

Ladies...how many of you know personally, or know of a tired ass, trifling ass woman! I mean the kind of woman that has a good man at home, a man that can't seem to do enough for her...and yet this trifling ass ungrateful itchbey dogs him every chance she gets. The brother is so besotted with her that he doesn't see the issues. I know of one such man, a good, kind, caring, compassionate man, who loves his wife unconditionally, yet she continues to shyt on him every time I turn around. I know he thinks he has a dime piece, but he doesn't. Years of smoking have rotted her teeth, the gold tooth in front does nothing for her. I mean at one point she may have been cute, but her character makes her an ugly person. The first time I met his wife, I instinctively knew that she was too fast for him. One of those type of women who recognized that she had herself a "mark"...one that she could mold and shape into the man she wanted, a man that doesn't question her at all. ...

In a previous blog I touched on the myth of honesty in relationships, but what about the myth of honesty we have with self? Are you totally honest with yourself? About yourself? To yourself? You know for some, the lack of honesty is the reason for the myriad of problems currently in their life. You my friend are the drama person I talked about in a previous blog, because you are not honest. Dishonesty breeds contempt and ultimately brings drama. How many people do you know that are driving luxury vehicles parked in the parking lot of an apartment complex? The same amount of money you put in that car, could've been invested in a home. What about the expensive homes folks have with the latest gadgets, that are living so close to the brink to impress that one missed check and they could be in foreclosure. Or the designer clothes and jewelry they have on, and all of their bills are late and all the while they are lying about everything. I think at times people are so intent on impressi...

I mentioned in a previous blog that it seems the worse you treat a person the more they want , or is it that they need to ingratiate themselves upon you?!?!? They find themselves wanting to do more for you...making any excuse to be near you, to contact you, to do whatever it is in their power to make your world better, regardless of how you treat them. Its almost as if they WANT to be used...don't care if you abuse them...they have this defeatest attitude like whatever it takes, I am going to make this person mine. So if that means they shyt on me, then they shyt on me. But does a person really want someone in their life like that. I just notice that for some folks they don't mind taking this abuse. In a conversation I had with friends, I asked this question. It was unanimous that this type of attitude/behavior was rampant in the dating world. Men said that if they didn't call a woman back, she seemed to sweat him more. He said he wasn't available, she called more. She...

A couple of weeks ago I received a letter from a woman seeking advice about an illicit affair she is having with her preacher. I recently posted this on my www.asksassyscribe.blogspot.com site. And I have to ask...what is it about men of the cloth, be it preachers, pastors, reverends or ministers. Which someone would have to explain the difference in titles to me, because I do not know...anyway, I wonder what it is that seems to push women to wanting these individuals. Its almost as if their panties juice up and get soaking wet at the sight of them in the pulpit. Hell, forget the pulpit, sometimes women go crazy just know and/or hear that a brother goes to church. Are they falling into that old adage that all good men are in church? Hmmm...some of the biggest playas I have met are in the church. That's right I said it...they talk more shyt than a little bit, but hitting up on Sassy is not the right thing to do. I may not attend church as often as I should, but I have yet to see a ...

I have noticed that some people thrive on drama. You ever notice that when you meet someone and they say they are drama free, and as you get to know them they have more drama than your mama? I tend to not want to cover everyone with the same blanket, but when folks tell me they live a drama free life, I tend not to believe them...it may be wrong but thats me. You may be different. I notice that there is still alot of drama going on in relationships. I see it daily in the emails that I get. I see it in the relationships of my friends and former friends and lovers. I see that some people cannot function on a daily basis unless they have a mountain of drama in their lives. See, drama is exiting, and gives you something to talk about and/or discuss. It gives some folks lives purpose and meaning...but to me its uncalled for and unnecessary. Have you ever noticed that the nicer you are to a person the more they shyt on you, yet the meaner you are to a person the more they want to do for you?...

What is more important...your friendship with your friends [i.e. you gurls/his boyz] or your relationship with your S.O.? Think about that for a minute before answering....I ask this because although our relationships, hell all of our relationships are important, which one holds more value and/or significance to/for you? Is your relationship with your girls more important than the one you have with your man? Does the relationship with your boys have more merit than the one you have with your girl? Why must we compartmentalize our lives? Is it a societal factor that makes us divide our lives between our girlfriends and guyfriends from our lady friends and men friends? Or is it that we just know what we know what we know that keeps the two lives separate. What happens if your boy/girl doesn't like your S.O.? What happens when there is tension when they are near one another? Do you make it a point not to have them at the same event at the same times? How do we balance this delicate si...

As I go through my emails daily, I am amazed at the number of women that are not following couple of basic rules of thumb. They write wondering what it is they are doing wrong, and as a woman that used to make the same mistakes and used to have the same drama, problems, and issues, we live and learn to obey the unwritten or is it written rules???? Maybe its the rules that our mothers taught us early in life that we failed to listen to...but its simple and basic. DO NOT SLEEP WITH A MAN BEFORE GETTING TO KNOW HIM. Do not expect him to give you more because you slept with him. I have written about this a thousand times it seems and its still not sinking in....yes SEX is great, and wonderful, but sometimes SEX alone is not enough. When will we [men and women] wake up to that fact...?!?!?!? Women want to know where it is they went wrong with a man, well honestly, it could've started in a number of ways, but the problem lay in that you [nee women] well some women, fail to delve below th...

On the flipside to my previous post...when is it time to cut your losses? We all know, understand, and recognize, that the F L E S H is very weak. The pleasures that it can endure the want, the need, the desire, the craving deep in the pit of your stomach that makes you want what you can't have so tempting, that you just dip your foot in it a little bit. The taste, once you get it, makes you go back for more. This is when you have entered the realm of adultery/cheating. Here is the thing. We see and know of so many people that continually put up with deceptive behavior from their mates, and you as the outsider looking in may say "cut your losses". Why stay in a situation or in a relationship with a person that IMO obviously doesn't want you. Yeah, I know that the first time was a mistake. That is not the issue, the issue is when do you say, enough is enough and I don't need to take it anymore. I had a conversation with a friend today and she was talking about meet...

How many times have we listened to men and women for making excuses for their spouses and/or significant others infidelities? Too many times to count, right? Here's the thing, I don't feel that a person cheating made a mistake. I feel that they made a choice to do what it is they do. Is it right...no! Its not right, but think about it this way, when you cheat on a person did you consciously think about the wrongness of your transgression? Did you think about where you were going to lick, suck, taste, feel, and enjoy before you jump on him or he slid up in you? No, because although you knew it was wrong while you were doing it, you continued to do it, because it was wrong. Sounds confusing, not really, because Cheating has that element of naughtiness and tabuness to it...the sex is sweatier (sp?), the thrust are longer and deeper, the kisses are wetter, the feeling is hotter, etc...you both know that being together is wrong, and at that time, wrong feels oh so right! We have a...

How honest are you in your relationship(s)? I asked this question recently at one of my discussions. Most people are not as honest as they should be so as not to hurt the other persons feelings. It is much easier to be honest about factual issues rather than hypothetical and whatif scenarios. Facts are right their in your face, and are virtually indisputable, depending upon the topic and ones beliefs, while whatif scenarios and hypothetical situations have yet to happen, therefore you are basing your opinion on what you would do/say if this, that or the other happened. Since it hasn't happened yet, you are trying to assume that you know how you would react in a certain situation. But the problem is that as honest as we all try to be, the closer you are to a person the harder it is to be honest, conversely, the closer you are to a person the more you will experience the hurt and pain of their dishonesty. Even if it wasn't their intent to lie to you and they lied by omission, it ...