In the past weeks I have trolled several online communities and have witnessed various postings relating of, for, and about relationships. “Why He Won’t Marry”, “Men That Don’t Want Relationships”, “How To Propose To Your Man” and the list goes on and on. Getting that man to the church on time and not making him make you wait forever seems to be a common thread topic on most message boards. People all over are celebrating the fact that now non-heterosexual couples can legally marry in California? Correct me if I am wrong, but haven't they been doing “commitment” ceremonies for years and hasn’t that been a way of showing their love and I don’t know maybe COMMITMENT to one another!!! Why is the chance to “marry” so important IF YOU ARE ALREADY COMMITTED EMOTIONALLY, MENTALLY, SPIRITUALLY, AND PHYSICALLY TO THE ONE YOU LOVE !!!! I don’t want to hear that they can now enjoy spousal benefits yada yada yada. Some companies, especially those in heavily populated non-heterosexual areas alr...

Tomorrow I am doing a show on church folks and how their hypocritical stance on issues is pissing me off! First of all, regarding the Black church, there are inherent and systemic problems from how the money is handled to the issue of the high number of choir directors that are gay… I know some folks are gonna get their panties in a bunch over this…but I have been witness to folks shouting AMEN at 11:03 am each and every Sunday and those same “Christians” are outside saying “did you see what that Bitch had on”…I’m like WTF…look I sit in church and my mind is thinking about a sex scene for a book or even having sex…I’m not saying that its right, but I am not one of those folks going around bragging about being “saved” yet having “unsaved” actions. I know how hard it is to walk the walk…to stay on the straight and narrow…but I also know that although my mind may not be right at times…my heart is…so when I hear about pastors having children out of wedlock or that choir members are fucking...

This blog is going to sound contradictory to what I have written in the past...but I have to say this...as a woman I can tell you that I am so tired communicating my thoughts, my wants, my wishes and my desires to men. When I listen to professional phsycologists & phsychiatrist they are quick to tell people that you have to "talk out" your feelings. Don't allow anything to fester...but as a woman, how many times are we going to continue to talk and receive no action from it? When is it time for women to shut the hell up and rest out on it? I have learned to ask a man a question....and then be quiet! Yeah, I know I have the gift of gab and I have been known to want to talk a whole in someone's head, but as hard as it is for me to do it...I have learned to stifle my motor mouth and rest it out...lay back up in the cut, and not say a word....hhhhh...not a sound from me and it forces him to answer the question. Now whether or not he chooses to answer is another issue....

I always tell people why it is that I am single. But you know what, the more I think about it, the more I believe that men are just fucking weak! Why is it that an out spoken, self assured, somewhat aggressive, sexy, independent woman is not a “hot commodity” for men? Why is it that men seem to say they want women like that…women that are ambitious and successful and independent, yet when they meet said females, for what ever reason she is not as attractive as he thought? I hear women discuss this issue a lot. Women that own their own homes, that have their own cars, and basically ones that can create a bill and pay that bill are often disparaged by men. A young relative of mine stated that she has had men tell her that she isn’t needy enough…that there really is only one reason as to why she needs a man and that is for sex. Not that she may be, I don’t know, lonely at times…that maybe she would like to have a man in her life for more than just a walking dick, but rather for a companio...

I don't want this to seem a vent or tantrum but I actually started to write this blog on June 10, 2007 while sitting in Hartsfield Airport in ATL on my return trip from Vegas. I was musing about conversations I had had with members of the opposite sex as well as those I have witnessed others having and it just makes me laugh outloud at this whole honesty thing... So I mulled it over....I wrote about it...I did focus group discussions, and I've even done my talk show on this topic. I gave it almost a year and the end result I found is that PEOPLE not just men and not just women, don't want the truth . Men say they want a woman to be honest, but in actual fact, they don't...they really want some things to remain a mystery. They can spout of all the BS they choose, about not finding an honest woman, but they truly don't want to know ALL....they just want to know enough. Enough to make a decision of whether or not you fit the "potential" category...enough to k...