Skip to main content

Ties That Bind

How important is it that the people in your life understand, acknowledge, approve, and accept, the decisions that you make?

Is it important for your loved ones to have a general understanding of what is is you do and why you're doing it? I have been milling this question around for the past few weeks...

I have major default mechanicism, a void rather for acceptance in all aspects of my life. "What would my family say" is always in my mind. How will they respond if I were to say this ____, or how would they feel if they knew that I ____whatever.

I am too freaking conscious to make sure that others see me in a certain way. I've always had this desire to please others...to make sure they they were happy and even if I wasn't I gave a good impression that I was. It is important for me to show that I can strong when it comes down to certain situations and aspects. The reality of it is...I present a tough exterior to all, but underneath I am soft. I am very vulnerable (God I hate that word and feeling). I feel that vulnerabilty is a weakness, and it is important for me to appear strong. But what good is it to appear strong, when I'm not...why do I feel that showing weakness is a character flaw? I think to some its not surprising...to others it may be. Deep down I wasn't...not really and truly happy. But to "save face" I pretended alot, pushed alot of thoughts and feelings down, afraid to express my true self to those that really know me. It was easier to do that, rather than to have and see their looks of disgust for what they feel is my weakness. My family has always wanted folks to be strong, it was and is important to show that strength, and to surpress that weakness...but as we get older, we have to learn a balance. I need to learn how to balance my true self with my true feelings to those that matter the most to me...and that will not be an easy feat...

SassyScribe

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Online Dating

When I first got my computer, I used to sit up and chat all night long with numerous people from across the globe. As I got bolder, I actually met some of these individuals that I had chatted with online. The one commonality I found was that they all lied about something...that was in 2002. Today, I am a member of three online dating services {I'm a free member to them so communication is limited} anyway, three years later I am finding the same thing...that they all lie for some reason or another. Now my girlz feel that I am crazy to not only talk to these freaks I meet online but to actually meet them. And I am beginning to realize that they are right...I am crazy or are they crazy? I'm crazy because I genuinely want a relationship, and I am finding out the reason why some of these men are still single and that is....drum roll please--- They don't say what they mean and mean what they say! That goes for the women as well! Now I know life happens and you had a life before ...

Relationship Deal Breakers

We all know folks out here tolerating alot of unnecessary bullshyt from their significant other...I sit back and look at them, saying to myself "Girl, you are good, because I wouldn't put up with that bullshyt," but you know what, someone will. Or is it more like someone has to? How many times have we heard that what one woman/man won't do another will? Too many times to count, right. But does that saying make situations right? I mean when someone does something that you don't like...betrays a trust, a confidence, cheats, steals, or lies etc...what makes some people forgive---over and over and over and over...how many times does a person get a second chance? Don't get me wrong, I feel that sometimes people make honest mistakes...but to continue to repeat the same mistake is not a mistake...its a problem, that obviously the person cannot fix on their own. When I think of deal breakers, I think like this... Cheating Cheating and the person gets pregnant Cheating...