On Friday, March 17, 2006, I facilitated a group of 40 men and women for a Grown and Sexy talk in Woodbridge, VA.
The talk revolved around the phenomenon of 42.4% of African American women over the age of 30 will never marry. That is due in large part to the number of African American women that are achieving higher success in obtaining under graduate and graduate degrees. They are rising to the top in their chosen field and/or profession, and often times surpassing the African American male in both of these categories.
However, the fact remains that 42.4% of US {yes, I too am part of this statistic} will never marry. I think one of the main reasons for this, is that many African American women are afraid to submit. When you have the majority of African American women leading households and have been doing so successfully, it is hard to release those reigns and allow another person complete control of YOUR life.
Lets face it, if she has been struggling as a single mother for years, if she didn't work then her child/ren did not eat, their housing was threatened, as was their basic daily needs. When you look at the history of the sister(s) in question, yes there is a power struggle. Sorry that most men choose not to deal with that, but that is the point. Men say they want strong independent women, but in reality they do not.
How do we breach this barrier.
I am confident, opinionated, outspoken, and vocal, in my wants, needs, and desires. I have concluded that I will remain part of that 42.4%, maybe its my destiny or fate. Maybe that is the book God wrote for me...thus, it does not make me a bad or terrible woman. So quite frankly, I am tired of men saying they want independent women, but in reality, she can't be too independent, nor too needy. There is a delicate balance that a sister that wishes to marry and have a successful relationship must do. The most important is that she must learn to know herself first and not be afraid to submit to the relationship and to her man.
I haven't reached that point as yet of desperation and/or loneliness. I am not without my companions {I date}, family, and friends and for right now, that is enough.
SassyScribe
The talk revolved around the phenomenon of 42.4% of African American women over the age of 30 will never marry. That is due in large part to the number of African American women that are achieving higher success in obtaining under graduate and graduate degrees. They are rising to the top in their chosen field and/or profession, and often times surpassing the African American male in both of these categories.
However, the fact remains that 42.4% of US {yes, I too am part of this statistic} will never marry. I think one of the main reasons for this, is that many African American women are afraid to submit. When you have the majority of African American women leading households and have been doing so successfully, it is hard to release those reigns and allow another person complete control of YOUR life.
Lets face it, if she has been struggling as a single mother for years, if she didn't work then her child/ren did not eat, their housing was threatened, as was their basic daily needs. When you look at the history of the sister(s) in question, yes there is a power struggle. Sorry that most men choose not to deal with that, but that is the point. Men say they want strong independent women, but in reality they do not.
How do we breach this barrier.
I am confident, opinionated, outspoken, and vocal, in my wants, needs, and desires. I have concluded that I will remain part of that 42.4%, maybe its my destiny or fate. Maybe that is the book God wrote for me...thus, it does not make me a bad or terrible woman. So quite frankly, I am tired of men saying they want independent women, but in reality, she can't be too independent, nor too needy. There is a delicate balance that a sister that wishes to marry and have a successful relationship must do. The most important is that she must learn to know herself first and not be afraid to submit to the relationship and to her man.
I haven't reached that point as yet of desperation and/or loneliness. I am not without my companions {I date}, family, and friends and for right now, that is enough.
SassyScribe
Comments
Ego has nothing to do with it. The comment was about the high percentage of women that are not married or will never marry. That is due in large part of people {male and female} making the wrong choices with the wrong people. I know, I've done it myself.
"The fact of the matter is that 42.4% of the women dont know how to be a good woman to a man." I suppose that men know how to be good men. That means YOU can recognize a good woman? What is your definition of a "good woman"?
As for the biblical reference, lest not forget that the bible says "a wife must submit to the husband, as to the husband shall submit to the wife". Submission is a two way street that both genders need to work on.
"Sistas are doing it for themselves" so why is that such a problem for you. Just like you said they are making 68 cents less than a man, your making 48 cents less than the white man, yet you think your still doing it...
And your latter comment on "nigga juice" came out of left field.
Obviously there seems to be some feelings here, because everything I write you seem to comment on. I think I know who you are, you obviously know me personally, because your comments are too emotional to be otherwise. Why don't you just sign your name instead of posting "anonymous"...