This poem spoke to me on so many levels...ladies, this ones for you.
WIFE WOMAN FRIEND
~By Dana Gilmore ~Def Poetry Jam
I guess I should not be surprised that my beginning was his end
After all, we were just friends
Although in my world I was his girl
So in my mind I pretended to be his wife
Saying sh*t like, "there's only so many years in a woman's life"
Right, so I gave him three
Yet he had the audacity to step to me on this
Donnell Jones "I don't know where I wanna be" type sh*t
I wasn't supposed to be like this
He hit me with the forehead kiss
He told me life was a journey and he was ready to explore this sh*t
And I was pissed
I start pullin' out Tupac hits telling me to keep my head up and
R.Kelly picks about when a woman's fed up
Cause I was down with him for so long, that I didn't think I could get up
Till one day I got tired of sleeping on pillows my tears had wet up
and Realized that life goes on
And no he didn't choose me and that doesn't make him right nor wrong
And just because he was the epitome of my life that doesn't make me wrong nor right
Like I said I was his friend and not his wife
And I should've acted within that capacity
And then this breakup would've been "just one of them things"
And not a f**king tragedy
And all the time I spent mad at him I should've been mad at me
After all I was the one that gave him the key to my house
Let him hang clothes in my closet just in case we go out
Washing all his dirty clothes to make a "full load"
And let him finish all the leftovers just so the food don't go old
For the times that we raw-dogged just cause he "lost all the rubbers"
And though I showed him more support than his father, brother, sister, and mother
And just 'cause those same people dial my number when they're trying to stay in touch
And he received mail at my address "cause he sleeps here so much"
Got total control of the remote control to the TV, DVD, and radio
And even though his name is not on my lease got sh*t in my house that is off limits to me Like his side of my bed and his stash of weed
And I better not touch his shoebox, Fruit Loops, mouthwash or toothbrush
He even had his own set of towels
But none of this obligates him to me because not once did we exchange vows
And If I knew then, what I know now, I probably would've listened
When he said it was some sh*t that he needed to get out his system
But I was too busy b*tchin', jumpin' bad like I was gonna hit him
And in the back of my mind all I could fathom was how much I was gonna miss him
And just because I'm cryin' don't mean I'm the victim
It's just that I was too scared to let him go 'cause some other chick might get him
And that was my fault, it was my decision
I should've never put my heart in my mind's position
But I couldn't shake him--he was like a bad habit
And all this for a n*gga that was just average, doing average n*gga sh*t
Like talking out the side of his neck and thinking with his d*ck
But, I must admit he's the one I wanted to commit to
Either I wasn't living up to my potential, or I was just the average chick
But I chose to believe that I was a woman caught up in a feeling
Both physical and emotional, who was way too willing to give her all to a man
And though it may sound stupid I would do it all again
Just next time for my husband and not a n*gga I call my friend.
SassyScribe
WIFE WOMAN FRIEND
~By Dana Gilmore ~Def Poetry Jam
I guess I should not be surprised that my beginning was his end
After all, we were just friends
Although in my world I was his girl
So in my mind I pretended to be his wife
Saying sh*t like, "there's only so many years in a woman's life"
Right, so I gave him three
Yet he had the audacity to step to me on this
Donnell Jones "I don't know where I wanna be" type sh*t
I wasn't supposed to be like this
He hit me with the forehead kiss
He told me life was a journey and he was ready to explore this sh*t
And I was pissed
I start pullin' out Tupac hits telling me to keep my head up and
R.Kelly picks about when a woman's fed up
Cause I was down with him for so long, that I didn't think I could get up
Till one day I got tired of sleeping on pillows my tears had wet up
and Realized that life goes on
And no he didn't choose me and that doesn't make him right nor wrong
And just because he was the epitome of my life that doesn't make me wrong nor right
Like I said I was his friend and not his wife
And I should've acted within that capacity
And then this breakup would've been "just one of them things"
And not a f**king tragedy
And all the time I spent mad at him I should've been mad at me
After all I was the one that gave him the key to my house
Let him hang clothes in my closet just in case we go out
Washing all his dirty clothes to make a "full load"
And let him finish all the leftovers just so the food don't go old
For the times that we raw-dogged just cause he "lost all the rubbers"
And though I showed him more support than his father, brother, sister, and mother
And just 'cause those same people dial my number when they're trying to stay in touch
And he received mail at my address "cause he sleeps here so much"
Got total control of the remote control to the TV, DVD, and radio
And even though his name is not on my lease got sh*t in my house that is off limits to me Like his side of my bed and his stash of weed
And I better not touch his shoebox, Fruit Loops, mouthwash or toothbrush
He even had his own set of towels
But none of this obligates him to me because not once did we exchange vows
And If I knew then, what I know now, I probably would've listened
When he said it was some sh*t that he needed to get out his system
But I was too busy b*tchin', jumpin' bad like I was gonna hit him
And in the back of my mind all I could fathom was how much I was gonna miss him
And just because I'm cryin' don't mean I'm the victim
It's just that I was too scared to let him go 'cause some other chick might get him
And that was my fault, it was my decision
I should've never put my heart in my mind's position
But I couldn't shake him--he was like a bad habit
And all this for a n*gga that was just average, doing average n*gga sh*t
Like talking out the side of his neck and thinking with his d*ck
But, I must admit he's the one I wanted to commit to
Either I wasn't living up to my potential, or I was just the average chick
But I chose to believe that I was a woman caught up in a feeling
Both physical and emotional, who was way too willing to give her all to a man
And though it may sound stupid I would do it all again
Just next time for my husband and not a n*gga I call my friend.
SassyScribe
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